Punday Monday 74! If you can't laugh at the crypto crashes, you'll cry. So come laugh! Comedy Open Mic Round 39

in contest •  6 years ago 

Welcome to Punday Monday!

puntender.jpg

New To Punday?

Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.

How To Make a Pun

This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun

Rules for the PUN-test:

  • If you hope to win a prize, your pun must be your original work
  • Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.

Last Week's Punday Monday:

Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!

Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winners of This Week's PUNday Monday Are...


(GIF by @littlescribe)

Rookie of the Week:

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@joechiappetta is not having his very first week with us this week, but he hasn’t had many, so welcome him, all!

Pocket Choice Awards:

Every Friday, I put up a post to solicit audience favorites! They can vote on their favorites by sending POCKET to whomever they want to win. This week’s post is here:
https://steemit.com/pocket/@improv/pocket-friday-for-punday-monday-happy-weekend

A tight race, but just eking out the win was @littlescribe, thanks to @coinsandchains! Congrats!

  • POCKET Choice Winner's Circle Season One:

@aloha-creations, @professorbromide, @tcpolymath, @miniature-tiger, @lilygolightly, @chrisroberts, @stinawog, @f3nix, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @diebitch, @acolucky, @ablaze, and @paul.atreides.

  • POCKET Choice Winners' Circle Season Two:

@ablaze, @coinsandchains, @dollarsandsense, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe

Grand Prize (which isn’t bigger than the other prizes, just grander):

  • Best Pun

  • Best Pun of the Entire Week

  • Best Overall Pun

DRUMROLL PLEASE.....

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@acolucky! You set it up and delivered!

And What Prizes Do They Win, You Ask?

  • Full Strength, 100% Upvote!

Why, as usual, all the punsters got full strength upvotes on their submissions.
WORTH $0.004! So much value!

  • SBI

Which are little bitty upvotes on all your content forever. See @steembasicincome for details. I’ll send one to all of our qualified entrants this week! All of our winners get two!
Screenshot (22).png

  • @tipu Tip + @improv 100% upvote to the post of your choice

Our category winners will each get to choose a post (of their own or someone else's) and I will give that post a fully powered upvote and a @tipu tip!

This Week's Pun Topic Is:

Thanksgiving!
As in....

What do ogres prefer under gravy? Mashed pot o’ toes!

I'm So Good at Puns

If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!

@comedyopenmic nomination:

Who do I nominate for @comedyopenmic’s comedy challenge? I nominate the winners! This past week’s winners were:

@heroic15397
@ablaze
@smitop




Sponsors, related content, prizes, and money

Sponsors!

@improv/@freewritehouse

I mean, am I a sponsor of my own contest? Yes? I guess? Also, because I’m involved in @freewritehouse and they’ve/we’ve hosted Punday Monday events over on that page, I’d like to suggest that they (we) are also a sponsor! Regardless, check out the @freewritehouse community!

@curie!

We were one of Curie’s chosen communities! Prizes have doubled in season 2, thanks to @curie’s sponsorship! Curie curators do tremendous work making sure unrecognized authors of quality content get recognized and rewarded! They do great work sifting through the heaps of posts to find the undiscovered gems.

Related Content:

  • Punday Monday Year One-Day contest results HERE
  • @freewritehouse offers writing and word-smithing contests every week
  • @steembasicincome has a contest round-up (that includes us) where you can find more opportunities to win SBI.

Outside referrals that benefit me.

Coinbase:

Cryptocurrency investment wallet Join HERE and we’ll both get $10 of BTC

  • Hot tip, I buy BTC on pro.coinbase.com, then send it to bittrex to trade for Steem and send steem to my wallet here. It’s the most efficient way with the fewest fees I’ve found. If you’ve found better, let me know. - I learned from someone else that buying LTC and sending it to bittrex then trading it for BTC then trading that for STEEM is the least-fees way. Can someone confirm?

Robinhood:

Investment platform buying/selling stocks Join HERE and we’ll both get a share of a stock (probably worth ~$4)

Earn.com:

Small tasks for small rewards. Need a business or .edu email, Join HERE and we’ll both get $1 of BTC

Mannabase:

Sign up for universal basic income distribution funded by cryptocurrency Join HERE

Swift:

Yet another attempt at a UBI Join HERE

Swell:

If you’re interested in more traditional investing, Swell invests in stocks that have a positive social impact according to their standards, and has a referral program whereby they’ll match your first $50 investment. CLICK HERE for company website.

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
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Hi improv,

Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)

Judges:

If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here

Click To Vote @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!
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Thank you to @matytan for the great banner

My wife's on a diet and wanted to skip dessert at Thanksgiving dinner but I was able to convince her to FUDGE it since it was a holiday.

I thought I had a cornucopia of ideas for this one but my thoughts have become lost in the maize.

I am so glad you're here!

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Thank you!

Don't ask how, but I accidentally ate my nephew's Crayolas. Now I got crayonburried deep in my colon.

Hàaaaa. Just startled my dog with that chuckle

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Every year in America a special beer is made available only at Thanksgiving time. There are eight varieties of Goose Island's Bourbon County and most will sell out by close of business on this Friday. Keep you eyes open for it if you find yourself in a local liquor or upscale grocery store. Most places only sell it on Black Friday. I got lucky last year and bumped into it at a grocery store last year a couple of days before Turkey day but be forewarned it comes with a STOUT price tag.

I'm so pleased that that pun has such a long set up!

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I YAM so excited for TG this year. I'm planning to CRANBERRY delicious pie into my face, as per tradition. I'm also planning on PUDDING on my best dress, even though I'll probably have to take the HAM out to fit inside the thing!

Aussies don't know much about Thanksgiving, i feel like a bit of a turkey. Oh well, I guess i'm stuffed.

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Sounds like you know everything there is to know.

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This Thanksgiving I tried to avoid eating any vegetables to save room for just Turkey and dessert but my wife caught on and SQUASHED that idea.

Wow, thanks for the POCKET and SBI! I have no idea how to access these, or use them, but I'm sure it's awesome, and I'll figure it out. Especially if someone explains it to me.

The post I post every Friday explains how! If you still don't know after reading that post, that will be useful to know! I think I explain it clearly, but no one's told me either way.

I read it. And I'm sure you explained it well, but I didn't see how to keep track of or use it or access it.

You just use it by writing the command in any comment on the blockchain. The confirmer bot will come by and tell you how much you have. That's all there is to it! (and that's really the only way to "use" it, which is why I use it for voting. It has no other value.)

cool. easy peasy

Easy as PIE, it is a new form of digital currency here on Steemit it but many still DOUGH know all about it. Allow me to just to add to Brendan's explanation. POCKET is Steemit's first token and it was designed to last for the next thousand years. Unlike Steem and Steem Dollars, there will never be any more POCKET tokens created so it really is like digital gold here on our platform. Folks that have accumulated a lot of POCKET tokens are known as "Sea Otters" here on Steemit. You can trade the tokens outside of Steemit on Bitshares for other cryptocurrency and the value is somewhat less than Steem at the moment.

Easy PEASy

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This post has received a 3.13 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @sbi-booster.