CONTEST NR.2 : MAKE US LAUGH > TELL US YOUR BEST JOKE AND WIN SOME SBD!!!

marcovanhassel (59) in contest • 7 years ago

Hello fellow-steemians / Hallo mede-steemians!

I decided to hold another joke-telling contest / Ik heb besloten om nog een moppentapwedstrijd te houden 😁
The rest of this post is in English / De rest van deze post is in het Engels (heb je vragen over de regels, stel ze dan gewoon in de comments)

First the prize......since I'm still a minnow (look at my wallet), I concocted the following:
After 7 days this post will generate author-awards: 50% Steemdollars and 50% Steempower. I will transfer all Steemdollars that are generated as author awards to the winner of the contest after pay-out. The more upvotes, the bigger the prize!!!
The generated Steempower is mine. I need it to increase my upvote, so I can help my fellow-minnows👍.

The rules are simple:

Upvote and resteem this post
Tell your best joke in the comments below.
Only one entry per person
Your joke in Dutch or English only

Good luck!!

Peace and love!

contest challenge nl funny minnowsunite

7 years ago by marcovanhassel (59)

$0.31

18 votes

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doctorcrypto (59) · 7 years ago

A penguin was driving cross country when his car breaks down in a small town. While a mechanic is trying to find the problem, the penguin wanders around town and finds an ice cream shop and gets a cone. After he is done with his ice cream cone he goes back to the mechanic. The mechanic looks up from under the hood at the penguin and says "You blew a seal." The penguin hastily wipes his mouth off and says "no, no, no that's just ice cream."

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5 votes

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

Whahaha....nice one dude😂😂

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

Congrats @doctorcrypto !!
You win this one!

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doctorcrypto (59) · 7 years ago

Oh wow! Awesome! Thank you. There were some good jokes here. I am honored :)

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago (edited)

I'll post a new joke contest somewhere tomorrow. Stay tuned😉

Edit: its up already!
https://steemit.com/contest/@marcovanhassel/tell-a-joke-win-some-sbd

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blackserpent (43) · 7 years ago

Ok, this is really dirty but there have already been multiple blowjob jokes so I figure the nsfw train has left the station.

Country girl walks up to her father and says "Dad, can I borrow the truck?" Dad says, "sure but you know what you have to do."

Girl says, "But I don't want to give you a blow job."

Dad says, "rules are rules."

So the girl reluctantly gets down and starts to give him a blowjob when she says, "Ugh dad, your dick tastes like shit."

Dad says, "That's right, I forgot your brother already borrowed the truck."

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2 votes

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

Nasty🤤. And funny at the same time👍

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

@blackserpent you didn't win, but no sorrow: u can try again:
https://steemit.com/contest/@marcovanhassel/tell-a-joke-win-some-sbd

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fronttowardenemy (57) · 7 years ago

Imagine that I have a rooster, and you have a donkey. What do you get when your donkey bites the left leg off of my rooster?

.
.
.

What you get is a foot of my cock in your ass.

buh dump bump crash

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I also do bar mitzvahs and weddings!

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1 vote

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

Good one😂😂

But the rules state @fronttowardenemy :

1.Upvote and resteem this post
2.Tell your best joke in the comments below.
3.Only one entry per person
4.Your joke in Dutch or English only

If you wanna win, don't forget rule nr.1👍

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fronttowardenemy (57) · 7 years ago

Sorry man, I unfollow people who resteem too much, so I don't resteem.

Best of luck with the contest!

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

Fair enough. And thanks👍

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

@fronttowardenemy wanna try again?

https://steemit.com/contest/@marcovanhassel/tell-a-joke-win-some-sbd

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sethsprengers (46) · 7 years ago

A lonely lady of 70 years of age, wants to get married again.
She places an advertisement in the local newspaper as follows:

WANTED: A GOOD MAN.
HAS TO BE MY AGE (70)
MUST HAVE NO INTENTION TO HIT ME
MUST HAVE NO INTENTION TO RUN OFF WITH ANOTHER
MUST BE GOOD IN BED!
NO TEXT REPLIES OF PHONECALLS, MUST COME BY TO APPLY TO THIS ADVERTISEMENT.

After two days, the doorbell rings a few times.
Eventhough she's not exactly looking forward to it due to past dissapointments, she goes to the door to open it.

What appears is a gray haired man without any arms or legs in a wheelchair.
"You seriously don't think I'd want you?" the woman asks, "I mean, look at yourself! You have no legs!"
The old man smiles and replies 'Well, that means I can't run off with another."
She grumbles, looking him over again.
"You don't even have hands."
The old man smiles again, only to say "That means I can't hit you."
She thinks about it, only to squint and give him a questioning look.
"Are you still good in bed, though?"
The man sits up in his wheelchair and grins a wide grin.
"I managed to ring the doorbell a few times, didn't I?

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1 vote

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

😅😆😂🤣. Awesome joke!

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1 vote

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

Nieuwe ronde, nieuwe kansen!

https://steemit.com/contest/@marcovanhassel/tell-a-joke-win-some-sbd

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remic2005 (48) · 7 years ago

Ok so here is my joke :D (a stupid one obviously...)
Be indulgent :D

It's the story of a penguin who was breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and died.

(I love stories about penguins, and I have no shame :o)

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1 vote

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

😁👍

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

Do you have any more animal jokes @remic2005?

https://steemit.com/contest/@marcovanhassel/tell-a-joke-win-some-sbd

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remic2005 (48) · 7 years ago

I have :D

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beachbuminvestor (52) · 7 years ago

Q: Why did the airplane crash?

A: The pilot was a potato.

Resteemed because we all need a laugh every now and then.

Defending champ Fish, back to tickle those ribs. Bahahaha

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

Your title is one the line mate.
Another sweet potato joke 👍

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beachbuminvestor (52) · 7 years ago

I plan to continue the "potato" theme until I'm defeated. It keeps me having to be creative.

Just a heads up because you are a legend. I will be running a competition soon also. I have started a YouTube channel and as soon as I can figure out the live streaming, I am going to start a live stream and say the first 50 people who join my live stream and add their steemit handle to the live comments, I will transfer 5SBD. I should be doing this very soon.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXnqmbNNPv69D3GabkkLYlg

If you subscribe now you should get the advantage come competition time.

Speak soon Marco, Yewww

Fish

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

Thanks Fish, I will subscribe👍

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dinar (47) · 7 years ago

You have a rather interesting blog, I like it ..

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

Must be russian humour....

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dinar (47) · 7 years ago

For the future I will know!

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago (edited)

As the rules state @dinar :

1.Upvote and resteem this post
2.Tell your best joke in the comments below.
3.Only one entry per person
4.Your joke in Dutch or English only

If you wanna win, don't forget rule nr.1👍

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dinar (47) · 7 years ago

Already seen, thank you, sorry!

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

Want to try again @dinar?
Contest nr.3 :

https://steemit.com/contest/@marcovanhassel/tell-a-joke-win-some-sbd

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dinar (47) · 7 years ago

My illness is incurable,
And what about me - I do not know:
I'm kind of dying from work,
And from salary - I'm resurrected.

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marcovanhassel (59) · 7 years ago

Sorry....only one entry per person

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dinar (47) · 7 years ago

I'm sorry. (

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walkingkeys (61) · 7 years ago

This is a @walkingkeys original. It is a little dirty, it's a Star Wars Blow Job Joke. lol

My wife and I like to role play when it is loving time. We often role play Star Wars like white people do. My wife is Princess Leia and I am generally Han Solo, but two nights ago she wanted me to be Chewbacca. I guess she was having a hard time with my new beard, but Chewbacca? That is kind of insulting...but I did it. I didn't want to go Solo with my Hand if you know what I mean. So there I was, a wookie getting some nookie. Then it dawned on me... She should be the sand monster from Return of the Jedi, because that thing was pretty much just a mouth.