The Crack History of the Universe Book 1 Ch.17 R'lyeh Rises

in crackhistory •  6 years ago 

It was on a specific day in the Devonian Period in the year 363’000’000 B.C.E. when the angel Castiel saw a most peculiar sight of a transitionary lifeform evolving from its life in the sea onto land. It was an amphibious creature that spent some of its time on land and some of its time in the water. Castiel though mistakes the creature’s normal instinctual habits and behavior as it being a dying animal so he goes to put it out of its misery and give it a peaceful death but then he is stopped by his superior Michael!

Michael explains to Castiel that there have been some recent developments within the Heavenly realms between the Deities Jehovah Elohim and the Great Old One Cthulhu and they are needed urgently and according to the Grandfather Clock Treaty; Castiel cannot interfere with life and that included the act of taking it from the world. In addition to this Jehovah Elohim had plans for Natural Evolution and it was in his intentions, interests, and plans for it to proceed as normal.

So thus, Castiel did not kill that transitional organism and by 360’000’000 B.C.E.; Natural evolution continued and in its wake, we would see Crabs and Ferns evolve and by 350’000’000 B.C.E. Hagfish, Ratfish and Large shark classes evolve in the oceans of the planet Earth.

The Jehovah-Cthulhu Rival Contentions

At the beginning of the Carboniferous Period the Great Old One Cthulhu founded a city for himself on the Rheic Ocean which would later become the Southern Pacific Ocean as we know it today. This city was known as R’lyeh and from its architecture and design that legends have it Cthulhu himself had built he attracted several Yiths and their slaves to his great city and it became a major religious capital in the Earth’s Ancient cultures courtesy of the Yithians who flocked there.

Of course, Jehovah Elohim despised Cthulhu’s popularity and he was consumed by jealousy at the Yithians and the Pangaean slaves worship of Cthulhu and, thinking he was in the right to destroy the city of R’lyeh that Cthulhu built on Earth; Jehovah rallied his angels and he got an alliance with Arceus and his legendaries to take down Cthulhu for his violation of the Grandfather Clock Treaty in his eyes! Thus, would begin the R’lyeh Conflict that would last 50 million years from the date of 350’000’000 B.C.E. to the year 300’000’000 years B.C.E.!

The Struggle Over R’lyeh City

From the beginning of the Carboniferous Period and additionally the R’lyeh Conflict Itself The Devil himself measured the stakes of this conflict and since it was in his interest to see YHVH (aka Jehovah Elohim) fail. However, The Devil’s retainers and other allies were shocked to hear The Devil declaring that he will not interfere with YHVH’s war against Cthulhu. His primary reasons why were that ultimately The Devil knew that this Holy Crusade would damage YHVH’s public image as a benevolent and peace loving god and expose him as the jealous and petty man-child the Devil regarded YHVH to be. Though more practically The Devil knew that this would ultimately weaken YHVH’s forces as he was fighting the awesome powers of the Great Old One’s forces. Forces again that were never defeated since the First God Wars in the universe!

Even if YHVH could create a miraculous victory from the war he would come out of it with a broken leg, a lost arm, and several Battle scars on his face which would give the Devil’s minions an advantage in turning others to his worship by the acts of indulgence and sin for the betterment of the self above all others. So thus, the Devil would sit this conflict out so as not to broaden it into a Great God War that could destroy reality which was not what he wanted for his plans.

(Note: The Devil’s ideas of this universe are contrary to this universe’s Demons who strive to cause wanton suffering, corruption, misery, filth, and torture throughout the world and universe at large ultimately)

In the background of the R’lyeh Conflict Natural Evolution would carry on over the course of the war despite the frequent crossfire casualties with many evolutionary events occurring such as: The Diversification of amphibians, the first amniotes, the first synapsids, and the evolution of Reptiles as well!

Escalation

Over the course of the war more factions would ally with Cthulhu and YHVH for various reasons giving rise to concerns that this conflict could escalate into the feared Armageddon that every god feared…

On Cthulhu’s side his faith only grew with its persecution as the Silurians, and the Sea Devils starting to worship the holiness of Cthulhu due in part to Yithian prophets and clergymen who spread the faith of Cthulhu to others praising his grace with stories and tales of him being born of the Earth’s sacred seas and when he came of age he carried his cradle he did grow up to the surface of the water he loved to help his subjects and those who believed with all of their hearts to live fruitful lives and spread their faith across the land.

On the Deity sphere’s level Cthulhu had begun to drag his family members, any relative who would hear his pleas of help, and his own offspring into the war to make it a winnable battle and to defend his great city of R’lyeh!

Jehovah and Arceus would continue to use their Angels and Legendaries along with an alliance with the Titans and some of the Egyptian gods to bolster their forces as the war dragged on. Citeing Cthulhu’s violation of the Grandfather Clock Treaty the Egyptian gods agreed to help YHVH’s forces in the latter half of the war’s duration.

Cthulhu Lies Dreaming…

The final epic Battle of the R’lyeh Conflict came to be in the form of the Assault on R’lyeh where at Cthulhu’s hour of greatest weakness he was betrayed by many of his allies and family members when Cthulhu is locked inside one of R’lyeh’s deepest chambers in one of its buildings rooms to die! Faced with wounds he suffered from being on the front lines Cthulhu takes his last meal before his great slumber: an enchanted dish of sweet ambrosia and golden apples that the more he ate the drowsier he felt…

Although Cthulhu’s wounds would heal from his partaking in this feast set before him thanks to the magic the spell would cause him to sleep and dream until a great mass of his followers professing their faith with a summoning of forbidden magicks and fevering devotion could break this great enchantment: The Faith of the Zealots as the key to revive Cthulhu came to be called for some time since...

The Sinking of R’lyeh

YHVH upon hearing of Cthulhu’s situation from a spy of his began to order some of his angels such as Lucifer and others to start creating fake “miracles from Cthulhu” to drive people against each other and smear Cthulhu’s faith among the Silurians and Yithians and even wipe Cthulhu’s name from certain people’s memories. Further violations of Grandfather Clock Treaty done in secret. All because of YHVH’s jealously and hatred for his fellow gods he despised!

As the last and final bout over R’lyeh occurred YHVH with some of Arceus’s legendaries such as Groudon, Kyogre, and Rayquaza faked a great hurricane and a tidal storm that formed near the city of R’lyeh to sink it beneath the great seas of the Earth leaving Cthulhu to slumber under the seas forever!

Aftermath

The R’lyeh Conflict was a dangerous situation that at its worst could have restarted the God Wars at their worst-case scenario. What really transpired was that it set a new precedent for interfering with the mortal realm as YHVH increasingly took to looking the other way as he unofficially endorsed his angels to do violence against mortal species who worshiped any god other than himself.

Cthulhu’s religion that he had acquired after he raised up R’lyeh and had built with his own effort and hands was nearly eradicated; only living on as a fringe cult, just how YHVH wanted it…

And in the crossfire of the whole conflict: Silurians had rejected Cthulhu and religion in general for the pursuit of science and technology, the Yithians had split into fundamentalists and moderates of YHVH, Cthulhu, and other faiths, and the Pangaeans were increasingly enslaved by the Silurians and at times de-evolved artificially into little more than a primate like slave race for the Silurians more physically demanding tasks such as construction and even fighting their battle for them at other times…

Overall from this event the Silurians and Yithians would grow to hate each other with the Pangaeans caught in between them. Once a proud civilization and people they had now found themselves underneath the “feet” of these new dominant species and at times it felt like the heavens themselves had forsaken them. For in the Deity Sphere itself YHVH had garnered great authority and respect from his fellow gods after upholding the Grandfather Clock Treaty which many were under the impression YHVH had held in contempt…

It was all according to YHVH’s grand design…

Sources:

lovecraft.wikia.com/wiki/Cthul…

lovecraft.wikia.com/wiki/R%27l…

www.britannica.com/science/Car…

infogalactic.com/info/Devonian

tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Silurian

tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Sea_Devi…

bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wik…

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This is so amazingly crazy! Thank you for sharing!