This is a topic that I get asked about a lot. And after working on just about every major cruise line in the world for over thirty years I’ve seen a lot.
I recently signed off the Seabourn Odyssey where I spent two and a half months sailing around South America. I had a brief love affair with a beautiful girl from Poland who worked in the gift shop.
So love, sex and hooking up on ships, well yes it happens on every ship. Women however have the advantage. There are far more men working on ships than women 70% men 40% women, of course it varies a bit form line to line but that’s about average. Many of the crew are married anyway. Especially the guys from India and the Philippians.
There are currently a lot of women from Eastern Europe, the UK and South Africa working on ships and most of them are single.
All of the big cruise lines: NCL, RCCL, Carnival, Holland America and Princess have regular crew parties and every cruise line has a crew bar, some have more than one.
So you will have the opportunity to meet officers, staff and crew from every department. And there are no rules about two consenting adults hooking up. The view on ships is very liberal, no one will judge you on your sexuality or on who you sleep with.
There are often over 30 nationalities living and working together on any cruise ship and everyone gets along. All races, nationalities, religions, gay, straight etc. no one will judge you.
I’ve been fortunate in that in the many jobs I have held on ships I’ve always had my own cabin, on Sebourn I had a guest cabin. However most of you when you get your first job on a ship will have a roommate. Think college dorm room. So finding someone to hook up with is one thing finding place to be alone is another.
If you are an established couple: And you and your significant other have been seeing each other for a while and preferable are on your second contract you can request a couples’ cabin. Getting one all depends on availability but most Crew Pursers are willing to help you. All you have to do is fill out a request form and have it signed by both of your department heads.
Back to meeting someone. Carnival in my opinion is the best cruise line for meeting and hooking up. They have what they call Red Light Green Light parties. They will close off a public lounge or bar for a crew party every couple of weeks with free food and drinks, they usually start late after 11:00 pm. And this is the fun part: at the door they give everyone a choice of stickers. A Red dot means you’re not interested in meeting anyone a Green dot means you are open to being approached and a Yellow dot means you’re gay.
And if you’re wondering about hooking up with a guest, the crew calls them Cones after the Cone Heads on Saturday Night Live 1970s. If you get caught with a Cone it’s chicken or beef? Meaning you’re fired and on your flight home you get to choose chicken or beef for dinner.
It used to be when I first started working on ships in the 1980s all of the officers and staff hooked up with Cones every cruise. It was open season on them starting the first night of the cruise where officers and staff were encouraged to dance with single women.
Once I did a cruise on the NCL Norway that was chartered by student nurses. Guys were sleeping with two to three different girls per day!
But those day are over, now I keep it platonic with guests. I have dated a few women that I met on ships but only after the cruise was over and we were both on land but even that’s frowned on.
The other option that a lot of the male officers and crew indulge in is brothels. In many ports there are known brothels that cater to crew. Especially in Mexico and Thailand.
Of course the choice is yours. I’ve never heard of anyone having a problem going to a brothel.
On the other side of the coin in love, what if you fall in love with another crew member. This is where things get complicated. Let’s say you meet a girl or guy from Russia and you’re an American or British. What are you going to do when your contracts’ are up? You just can’t up and move to Russia and they can’t just hop on a plane and come to America or the UK. Also if you do meet someone it’s unlikely that your contracts are going to be the same length. For example: on my last ship the Seabourn Odyssey, the girl I met was from Poland and her contract was six months, mine was two and a half. When I signed off she still had three months to go.
Every turn around day crew sign off and new crew sign on and you will always see a tearful couple saying goodbye, usually they know they will never see each other again.
The career officers, staff and crew have learned to accept that it’s the price we pay for living the cruise ship life style. So we have what we call ship sex. It just means that when you hook up with someone you both know, but never talk about - that the relationship is just for as long as you are on the ship together and that when one of you leaves it’s over.
The crew medical center on every ship will have free condoms available 24 /7 in a discrete dispenser. So the cruise lines know what’s going on below decks.
Sure today we have Facebook, Face Time and Skype but usually what happens is even when you try to keep your romance alive after one of you has signed off the relationship eventually fizzles out. But I have seen a happily ever afters. It does happen, but it also usually means that they give up their jobs on ships and live on land.
Working on a big cruise ship that sails around the world is as close as you can get in our time in history to working on the Star Ship Enterprise.
If you have the right personality it can be a great life and Love is possible.
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