A semi ironic guide to surviving the cryptocurrency craze

If you've spent any time surfing the web in the last months, you might have come across a few dozen hundred articles by self-proclaimed cryptotrading experts, promising to reveal you the secret of their (questionable) success.

Why not listen to someone different, for a change? I'm no cryptotrading expert. I don't fully understand neither cryptocurrencies nor the almighty blockchain, even though I spent a bit of time trying. Still, I want to give you some advice on how to invest in cryptocurrencies and be happy!

There are two ways of the cryptotrader.

The way of the dragon

Imagine you're leaving for Las Vegas, tonight! How much money will you bring with you, to play at the casino?

Whatever your answer was, get that much money and take it aside.

Now, go out there (on the web, I mean) and pick a list of at least 10 different cryptocurrencies. You can pick whatever you want. Again, I'm no expert. I have no idea which ones are good and which ones are bad. Look for funny names. Look for funny logos. Look for great ideas, or fascinating visions. Don't waste too much time trying to understand, trust your gut feelings.

The important detail is that you must gather a large list of cryptocurrencies you like, at least 10, but the more is the better!

Remember the money you got before? Now split it into equal parts, and buy a little bit of each cryptocurrency you picked.

Finally, go back to your regular life. Think about your job, your friends, your partner, forget about any cryptostuff. Don't ever look at exchange rates or cryptocurrency trends. In short, sit back and relax. Your virtual self is playing at the cryptocasino, while you take care of more important things.

Three years from now, remember about your investment (you might want to set a reminder on your smartphone, provided you don't plan to have it changed in three years time!). Then, you can finally find out how the gambling went. If you're lucky, at least one of your cryptocurrencies will have become super valuable, and you will be (kind of) rich. Otherwise, you'll just have wasted some money at the Las Vegas of cryptotrading.

The way of the panda

Pfft, who cares about cryptotrading. There's no way to foresee how that will work out. Enjoy your life, and let other people waste their time and money on that!

Final notes

If you really want to know (and didn't guess it already), I'm definitely into the way of the panda.