Oh dear CBS, you blew it. Star Trek Discovery is the worst forty-something minutes of television I've seen all year. It's almost like they're making television for an audience that hasn't existed since the 90s.

It's definitely not made for Trekkies, so who is it for?

We've been spoilt

Since Star Trek was last on TV we've had shows like Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead, TV is a lot better. I was exited to see what they could do by taking the examples set by these shows and applying it to a franchise I loved, but did they? No, it's like the last twenty years of television never happened.

If you don't like it, you're a racist, sexist and you kick puppies...

Michelle Yeoh who is usually a fantastic actress is horrible as the Shenzhou's captain. She acts like she's reading from a teleprompter. The whole cast is horribly miscast. There's already articles being written about fans being sexist and racist, it's Ghostbusters all over again, by that I mean making something shit and then using identity politics as a shield when people say : "This is shit."

Think I'm kidding? This is a headline from Raw Story:

"White genocide in space: Racist fans seethe at diversity in new ‘Star Trek’ series"

Let's forget that most Trekkies grew up masturbating to Nichelle Nichols in her mini-skirt and going to conventions dressed as as Geordi Laforge and assume they became racist misogynists as they near middle-age. Remember that, in the days when fans weren't the enemy?

Let's compare this to The Expanse, a show where out of the six main characters you have an Indian woman, a black woman and an Indian pilot. No-one cares! Why? Because The Expanse is actually bloody good.

LOL at the Klingons

No, I actually did laugh out loud at the Klingons, what even is this?

Why do they all look like Mini-me had sex with a conehead and produced some really odd looking offspring?

Konelons!

These are the big scary baddies?

The plot

I don't even know, I can't spoil anything for you because it was so boring I've completely forgotten what happened. I'll do my best to summarise, It was: something, something Konelons blah blah why is there a chick named Michael?

Again compare it to The Expanse, warring colonies, detective stories, mysterious alien bio weapons and a semi-realistic view of mankind's future in space. In fact just save your time and watch The Expanse, if you've already seen it; watch it again. It will be a million times more entertaining than this hackneyed crap.

It's clearly not made by people who actually like Star Trek

Wait, you had long-distance communication holograms all this time? Then why did all the other captains use a screen to communicate? Are you sure you're not thinking of Star W...

...you're thinking of Star Wars aren't you?

Yes I know there's a holodec, a hologram doctor and a hologram of Tasha Yar in the Star Trek universe, but this is just one of the things I noticed. There's no continuity whatsoever between Discovery and any other Star Trek, other than it's set in space. There's not a single nod to fans or any sign that you're actually watching Star Trek. It could be any bland sci-fi.

I haven't seen the second episode, I may try to get through it, but if watching something starts to become a chore I don't bother. I'll give it one more chance then I'm done. TV is too good these days to sit through this crap, there's too much competition from stuff that's actually good, even if you love Star Trek.