African Americans! Which part of African don’t you understand? Shed your Western clothes. Women, let your breasts go wild. Men, free your buttocks as you once did on the old continent. If it gets too cold in our northern climes, bring out your boubous and your djellabas, get your kanzus and your kangas, and give me my feminist victory-pants back!
Future brides around the world who dream of the white princess gown, go no further. You are insulting Queen Victoria’s tribe. She started the trend, and you have no claim to it. As to the married women who already usurped the virginal attire, go hide in shame (you probably had already lost your hymen anyway).
Japanese, Koreans, Chinese, recarve your artificial eyes to their original oriental slant. And please, someone punch a few surgically altered noses to flatten them back to their racially appropriate shape lest these poor people forget their true identity. I used to be proud of my almond peepers and caucasian proboscis, now my bruised ego bemoans the loss of what belonged exclusively to me. You’ll help me too in the process.
Rimsky-Korsakov, the Spaniards want their Capriccio back. Same applies to you, Monsieur Ravel, you thief. “Ravel’s” Bolero? Yeah right! What shall I say about Felix Mendelssohn, German Calvinist Jew, with his heathen Scottish and Italian symphonies? As for you, JS Bach, you traitor to the Teutonic genius, between your English and French Suites and your Italian Concerto you are a multi-offender, so I won’t even dignify your crimes with a comment, sacrebleu!
Last, but certainly not least, I have noticed that many Catholic schoolgirls in the US wear plaid uniform skirts. How dare they? The tartan kilt belongs to the Scottish Highlands. Quick, someone rip them off and return them to their lonely sporrans! Surely, we can find a few volunteers to right these wrongs among PC pedophile politicians yearning for some action between bombings.
We have reached such an absurd level of bien-pensance that any deviation from identity politics has become anathema and a little white prom-girl is being pilloried for donning a Chinese dress. The very notion of culture has been reduced to proprietary caricatural features of a specific group, and simplistic entitlement diktats have snuffed out any enlightened debate. The step from cultural outrage to cultural outage is but a small one, and we have stumbled headlong into the dark ages.
Someone please turn on the lights.
(I want to mention for @hansikhouse's thought-provoking post on cultural reappropriation. It inspired me to write mine. You can find his post here: https://steemit.com/culture/@hansikhouse/what-do-we-do-about-cultural-re-appropriation)
Highly intelligent and humorous article, right at the cutting-edge, and so well-spoken that ordinary citizens will need a dictionary at their side to comprehend it.
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Thank you so much for the kind comment. I must say I am a little surprised that I have not received death threats or insults for the "racism", but there again I am not The Onion. You are probably aware of the flack it got for this article after Mondays' massacre
https://www.theonion.com/idf-soldier-recounts-harrowing-heroic-war-story-of-kil-1826048745
I notice you joined Steemit this month. Welcome. I am a relative newbie myself, and it has been encouraging to connect with people who get it, even if we don't always agree on all points with each other. As this network expands and intersects with other networks, and as each of us contributes as much as our skills and knowledge permit, I am hoping that we will reach critical mass and change the course of human history for the better.
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I'm afraid that incident about The Onion completely eluded me. I didn't even know they published satire (and very sharp one at that)! Would you care to elaborate a bit on what transpired surrounding that article?
Thanks for the warm welcome. I followed you right after I read your thoughtful comment the other day on an article from a Zionist apologist. Your critical and balanced remarks clearly stood out in a comment section largely filled with people shilling for Israel and me trying to wake them up. I should refrain from doing that in the future. It's no use trying to appeal to someone's humanity with people who apparently are in support of massacres and poisoning a million children in Gaza who are cut off clean water supply.
However that article was the only one of its kind that I have come across so far. Just a few days on the platform and I am already overwhelmed by the level of critical thinking and positive change that is displayed by several users. All my life I was hoping for things to change but didn't have the brains nor the guts to get actively involved. I joined steemit because I just couldn't bear my passiveness any longer.
I'd like to point an excellent article out to you that I just read and commented on with an author and a comment section who I believe share a similar philosophy to ours:
https://steemit.com/life/@valued-customer/broken-paradigm-how-new-goals-make-old-ways-obsolete#@shadowboxer/re-iamstan-re-valued-customer-broken-paradigm-how-new-goals-make-old-ways-obsolete-20180519t185244806z
EDIT: I see what you mean about The Onion's article: https://www.vice.com/amp/en_nz/article/kzkwzy/the-onion-anti-israel-commentary-jokes
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I love the quote from the Vice article: “Forty-eight hours after the May 16 battle, for example, Hamas now acknowledges that 50 of the 62 killed were its own gunmen.” I would have added that Palestinians start indoctrinating their young in utero and that the 8 month-old child who was so heroically killed was already an accomplished sniper and one of the Hamas gunmen!
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P.S. I just noticed the "social outcast" bit on your profile.
Yep!
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He he he he this is humor in its finest form! Thanks for making me laugh.
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Thank you very much. With all the crap that the world is going through right now, if we didn't laugh a little we'd probably have to blow our brains out.
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