I have to say that some days are better than others — today is gonna be a good day because yesterday I made a great start on the course, because I’ve got the start I can EASILY add to what I already start and build on that — the wonderful thing is that I can replace what I did later on and improve it if I want to, I love that about courses is that you can refactor and remix, take a section out, re-record it with better focus and quality when you have it.
The important thing is to get the START — I’m not sure how it eventually came about but I think I have a few tips that I can share this morning about going from idea and concept to actually just putting out there and getting out of the way from yourself.
get re-scheduled
The way I built up to the first forty minutes of video was stupid, I spent a good solid month going over and over it making out that I had no time in my schedule to do it, I simply had no time right what with what I do already and my obligations in the six week holidays — just no physical time and headspace to do it in, at least that’s what I assumed.
The first thing I did was to break down my day, build in flexibility and the ability to move things around in that schedule, times when I would need to mentally reset and start on something else or muster up the mental energy to actually be able to record — everyone wants to present the best version of themselves after all right?
Writing out a schedule of time was the biggest win this week, it set out INTENTION and made me look at where time was wasted — I know for a fact that when I do start live streaming that I’m gonna make a great streamer because I have my SCHEDULE on lock.
And what did I do? I just totally moved my day around, I get up much earlier than I used too and now I’ve recovered by day before anyone else is up and around, I’m ‘catching’ the lark as the english saying goes, I’m putting the work I’m able to do in that wake up phase front and center and easing into the morning, by the time I’m coffee’d I’m ready to get into the work.
rebalanced
Energy and mood swings, two massive areas that I deal with, compacted and compressed often with anxiety and time stress — how am I going to achieve this and that, do I have all the boxes ticked, I’m not doing enough, I’m not where I need to be, I don’t have want I want etc etc.
the list goes on, the mind is a savage and a beast at times and the world can project and amplify supposed flaws in your character — but I want to tell you it’s just being human, we have to accept and listen sure but we don’t always have to give them too much process, too much ‘brain bandwidth’ as my lovely @dayleeo put in her blog post this morning.
You really have to flesh out that BS firewall with some new rules, that might be hourly, definitely daily and if your lucky over time just weekly — but you can’t ignore, you have to adapt otherwise you have the swing momentum of the highs and lows of roller coasting through your INTENTION which screws everything up because then you don’t know the REASON why you are doing any of it anymore — always respect your mental health needs, listen to them, unpack them, unpack them and over time sort them but don’t process them as FACT straight away - let them breath like a good wine, ideally with a good wine might find you great resolutions! :)
focused
I want this. I want all of it. I want to make these courses, I want to turn up everyday, I want to get in front of a video camera and I NEED to do it because it makes me feel good as a DIGITAL WORKER — I don’t have a normal 9 to 5 job, I’m not a MANUAL worker, I’ve tried that.
I worked twelve hour shifts from 7am to 7pm on my feet for twelve hour days walking around in a factory in boots that hurt my feet, I lost a lot of weight I was fit but exhausted, my time with my daughter was fraught with tiredness and my constant napping, on my four days off the first day was dealing with the pain in my legs from walking 100 miles over the previous four days in the warehouse putting crap clothing into cardboard shitty boxes of stuff that nobody would ever buy again.
It bought be in a ‘living’ and kept me on the ‘hamster’ wheel of day to day life, the life where people just tick off ‘yep, job’ well done, your a normal person. It was killing me, debilitating me on a daily basis, my creativity was squeezed constantly and I would make up a sheet of paper from creative label layering and write out notes of creative projects and ideas that I could build if only I was not working a manual labour job — I was trapped between who I was and what the world wanted me to be, an illusion of a ‘worker’ contributing towards the GDP.
In all of that time thou I focused on the outcomes for everyone that I loved about that I was close too, i knew I had to shift my outlook, I did nights, I hated working weekends and not being able to see my daughter, it threw everything out, routine turned to linear days, over and over again, same shit I hated with this ‘take on the chin attitude’ — I was not meant for this, everyone in the room felt the same way I’m certain.
determined
Because of that focus I was determined, as I am every single day now to make changes to the way I lived my life - I wanted to LIVE not EXIST inside of my life, I was determined to find a way out and do the things I loved and make them pay even if I did not have all the things worked out yet, I kept pushing at the edges, if I only had this setup and only had this setup then my perfect idea of a life would unfold — of course, life does not come pre-packed and ready meal like that.
Being determined to achieve some level of goal is what keeps me going every single day, it’s on me. I’m living and breathing here on a spinning piece of rock in a galaxy inside of a galaxy inside of a blackhole which is distorting and pulling us all in slowly into an accelerated madness which will spit us out somewhere else, I’m certain we already have multiple versions of us in different parts of the universe anyway — what’s wrong with being determined to do something with this version of ourselves today? :)
so that’s where I operate from
Every single day that’s where I’m operating from, re-working that schedule, listening to myself, making adjustments where I can and re-formatting my intention on an hourly or daily basis determined to eventually get that down to a weekly check in with myself, so I can get back to enjoying the moment instead of cascading and stumbling past each day in blind ‘hope’ — hope is a nice DOF story told movie of what could be but it’s not the daily grind, the day to day does not come packaged like that.
It’s the work that goes on behind the scenes to allow those moments of success to be captured — we step through, sending you positive vibes.
H U M B L E x
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