Well I have to say all in all the weekend was a major success! We didn't have any dramas whatsoever, we had a lovely time at the cafe yesterday and I have to say it but I think that the 71 year old man is an absolute dream!
He showed up yesterday at 12:30 pm, just after I got to the cafe and was wearing his little old tweed coat, and oh my god, we hit it off immediately. I think that meeting someone of the opposite sex for the first time, when it isn't a date and you know you have other people coming to join you, is so much more comfortable than you could ever imagine!
We were not there to stare at each other, or check out whether we were physically or mentally compatible. We were just meeting as friends with a group of other people who were the same and it took all the expectations off both of us immediately. I honestly say that I could happily talk to him for hours!
This lovely man had driven two and a half hours to meet up with me from Argyll, and I was in absolute shock! I really don't know the geography of this country at all, and thought it would only be an hour or so - holy shit. I had purposely worn casual clothing that completely hid my figure as I did not want him checking me out or getting horny on me, and trying to gauge whether I was shaggable or not. These days I try to put the focus on my personality instead of in 'my pink bits' as let's face it - at my age I don't even know if I still want to shag anyone or not anyway.
Since I turned 40, these really ugly big chin hairs have started creeping out and so I had a wee pluck on them before I left the house. I managed to get my hair dyed during the week but it was two different colours - one on the roots and one on the ends - and think I can get away with it - but not for long once the greys start coming through again. I really need to pay a visit to the hairdresser I said to myself in the mirror and didn't feel nervous at all.
I still wear makeup, but have droopy eyelids which cover up my eyeshadow and turns it into creases after an hour or two, but it still makes a difference and is better than nothing at all. Thank god I am a woman.
We had a nice little turnout yesterday and the old man was literally charming! He used to be the Director of a big car company back in Germany, and we had so much in common I was actually shaken to the core. He had a wee dig at me for telling him that he was too old to date me, and I had to admit that it didn't feel like there was 25 years between us at all. I apologised if I had offended him as he was a lovely man and I could learn so much from him.
I think I might be seriously consider dating this guy already, as he is retired and his wife has passed away so I won't have anybody to compete with over here. His kids live over in Australia, but I think she is probably the same age as me, and his house is on the market. Generally speaking he is at a really good stage of his life, and knows what he wants and had no qualms whatsoever in telling me when he left. I gave him a hug goodbye yesterday as I genuinely felt close to him already, but as my boobs squashed into his arm he held his arm around me for a little bit too long and pulled me towards him which I resisted. I don't kiss anyone, and avoid intimacy unless I am in love with them.
We have agreed to meet up again in Glasgow on Wednesday at a nice little garden centre he has chosen. I suppose that I would have to call it a date now, but I keep getting this big butterfly feeling in my stomach as am really not sure whether I can date a man that wrinkly.
I have to admit that this would not be the first time that I have dated a man much older me. I once had an affair with a former boss of mine and we had a couple of months together when I was 25 and he was 49. He was the best lover I have honestly ever had, and was really ugly but for some reason that never mattered to me!
Last night it was impossible to sleep and I lay awake until about 5am this morning. My neighbours have two teenage boys living next door, and they had the tv on all night in the room next to my bedroom. It is excruciating when I can't sleep, but I couldn't stop thinking about this man and whether I could truly find myself in bed with him.
I honestly need to consider the reality of whether I could see us having sex together because let's face it - that's where every relationship ends up isn't it? It doesn't matter how much you have in common, at the end of the day you will still end up in bed together, staring up at them with all your bits out exposed for them to see and play with. It's been a long time for me since anyone was allowed to do that. My body has changed a great deal since then, and whilst I know all the parts still work the same - the 'arrangement' is not quite as appealing as it used to be.
My bum is huge and I have rolls on my stomach that I can generally hide with clothing as I am tall, but it is a horrible feeling when you are totally exposed and naked with someone you don't know very well. I don't know about you but I can't do the casual thing with anyone any longer. They have to love me and all of the bits and chin hairs along with them or I am really wasting my time and am not getting any younger!
My children are opposed to the idea and think its really yukky. I have also made a mental note to see if he has health insurance or any medical conditions. What if he ends up having a heart attack or something or I marry him and he ends up bed-ridden. I don't know if I have the capacity or compassion to be a full-time carer for him.
Best not to worry about it, but you see my dilemma.
I have been googling this today and was horrified at some of the articles I found on this topic:
- One article from the Cosmopolitan in 2015 has some outrageous statements -
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a43037/the-best-things-about-dating-an-older-guy/
8. He knows how to go down on a woman. (god forbid)
10. He doesn't give a shit if you haven't shaved in a few days. (thats not a good thing)
- E-harmony states one of the following points as a bonus -
9. Meeting the parents is easy with an older man. (he will have more in common with them).
14. He’s experienced in the bedroom. (kill me now)
- and finally on Wiki ...
6. Remind him that you desire him. Everyone’s scared of getting older. For men, the thought of losing their physical virility can be terrifying. (I hope I don't find any viagra lying around)
I know I should consider myself lucky just to have someone whose interested :)
But I am totally scared shitless :)