Do women need to feel subservient and dominated by a man?

in dating •  7 years ago  (edited)

I’m a dating and relationship specialist and the other day, I received a question from a coaching client. 

He wanted to know if women need to feel subservient and dominated by a man in order to be attracted to him. 

And, honestly, this is a question that comes up quite commonly. And it’s a common belief in the dating realm. 

But is it true? 

Do Women Need to Feel Subservient and Dominated By a Man to Feel Attracted to Him? 

In short… no. 

Now, let’s get into my conclusion to understand this situation better. 

First of all, it’s a very old-fashioned way of seeing things to think that women need to have a “macho” dude who beats his chest in their life in order to feel attraction. 

Wait… Wait… What About All the Nice Guys? 

This doesn’t mean that women love Nice Guys? 

(Note: By “Nice Guy” I don’t mean a guy who is nice… I’m talking about the passive aggressive modern man who has trouble expressing his needs and desires and instead relies on manipulation and hidden agendas to try to get his way — often throwing a temper tantrum when things don’t work out the way he wants) 

Obviously women don’t like Nice Guys. 

Many Nice Guys will struggle to succeed with women that they will go to the opposite extreme and thing that they need to be a “bad boy” or an “alpha male” in order to attract a woman. 

But WHY Don’t Women Like Nice Guys? 

Women don’t like Nice Guys because Nice Guys do not clearly and openly express what they want, need, or how they feel. 

This causes women (and really pretty much everyone else) to not know where the Nice Guy stands on any given subject. 

When this happens, women don’t trust the Nice Guy. 

They don’t know where he stands. They don’t know what he believes in. They don’t know if he’s saying something because he actually believes it or if he’s just trying to be agreeable so as not to rock the boat. 

That’s why women don’t like Nice Guys 

How to Actually Attract Women 

Men don’t need to become Jerks in order to attract women. 

Men don’t need to dominate and force a woman into submission in order to attract her. 

Now, sure, women prefer Jerks to Nice Guys, but that doesn’t mean that being a Jerk is truly the best thing for you. 

It’s just like how smoking a filtered cigarette is healthier than smoking an unfiltered cigarette. 

Neither one is particularly healthy, but the filtered cigarettes are a tiny bit better for you. 

A Third Option: How to Attract Women without Being a Jerk 

When you realize why women don’t like Nice Guys (because Nice Guys are not transparent and clear with what they want in love and life), it’s easy to actually attract women without becoming a knuckle-dragging Jerk who needs to dominate and overpower a woman. 

All you have to do is simply become transparent and clear about what is important to you, what you want, and what you need. 

Women will like you. 

Maybe not all women, but you’ll find that the right women will like you. 

And you can still be caring and loving and everything else that you may naturally be. 

What Women Ultimately Want 

Women ultimately just want a guy that they can trust. Ideally he would actually care about her as well. 

No domination or submission required. 

Unless you like that kinky kind of stuff :) 

What do you think?

Do women need to feel subservient and dominated?

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I wasn't sure how to feel at first. I'm very independent and someone trying to dominate me is a huge turn off. At the same time I think this really hit the nail on the head, "Women don’t like Nice Guys because Nice Guys do not clearly and openly express what they want, need, or how they feel." Maybe shy could be used interchangeably? People want to know you and what you stand for. A little mystery is okay but it shouldn't be a challenge to get to know someone.

The best men don't try to dominate women. They tell their women to follow or get out of the way. Their choice.

I don't think women need to feel subservient. I think one of the problems with so-called "nice guys" is both what you said - women don't know what he really thinks because he'll say anything to agree with her, as if that is going to make her more interested. But there's more to the problem than lack of transparency. The problem for me here is lack of backbone. I don't want someone who folds when challenged. I want someone who stands his ground even if it means disagreeing with me. That's not the same as being a jerk or a "bad boy." It means having the courage of your convictions. That is extremely attractive. If a woman can't stand to be disagreed with she's not worth it anyway.

In the words of Roissy "even the most ardent feminist wants to be led by and submit to a dominant man". Telling a woman that it's your way or the highway is exactly what she wants to hear, although they'll never admit it. That's what they call backbone.

Thank you for sharing this with us, keep going. I think no, they are people to they should be equal

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