Dating isn’t easy when you first meet someone. You want to make a good impression, but those first few dates can sometimes be awkward. When you’re trying to talk to someone you don’t know, there can often be a lag in conversation as you try to figure out what to say.
If you’ve ever been on one of those dates when it seemed like everything just kind of went south, there is something you can do to change that for the future. And, you probably already have this tool handy but didn’t realize just how effective it could be to help you get the girl.
That tool is your sense of humor - and it works to help you land the girl that you want, whether you’ve just started dating or you’ve been dating a few weeks. Many guys tend to clam up and conceal their sense of humor, but it’s one personality trait that is most attractive to women.
Why Women Say the Men They Date Must Have a Sense of Humor
If you check out dating sites, more often than not, you’ll see that what women are looking for, even above looks in a man, is a sense of humor. If you doubt that humor is really what women want, think of all the funny leading men in Hollywood who don’t have the star power good looks, yet women flock to their movies.
It’s because they’re funny and funny can beat out attractiveness more often than not. A man with a sense of humor is a quality that most women look for because having a sense of humor can make any situation easier to handle.
When something goes wrong on a date, he’s not always looking at the negative side, throwing his hands up or worse, having a temper tantrum. A man with a good sense of humor recognizes that life doesn’t always go according to plan and he can roll with that.
Because he’s adaptable, this draws women to him. Women are attracted more by personality and behavior than they are the physical appearance. A man with a sense of humor is by far more confident than a man who has little sense of humor.
Women recognize this confidence and are drawn to it. Believe it or not, there’s a lot of power in having a sense of humor. A woman enjoys being around a man who can laugh at the absurdities of life.
Women like this because they know that when a relationship hits a rough patch, a man with sense of humor will always find the positive in it. He’ll find something to laugh about - even in the toughest of times.
He’ll find a way to help make her laugh. Men with a sense of humor can keep a relationship fresh and lighthearted. These kinds of men are usually excited about life and always have something that they’re looking forward to.
Women like the idea of having a man who doesn’t get bogged down by life and all of the trying things that can go on. When a crisis hits, a man with a sense of humor has better coping skills than a man who doesn’t.
A sense of humor helps a man look for a way around a situation and if he can’t find it, then he’ll find a way to lighten the burden. Studies have shown that people with a sense of humor are highly intelligent.
They’re often witty as well as being real in a world filled with posers. Women have had enough of men pretending to be something that they’re not. A man with a sense of humor is at ease with himself and others around him.
He doesn’t have to pretend to be someone else in order to feel comfortable. This sense of being at ease translates into confidence. He can be himself whether it’s just the two of them or whether they’re in a social situation.
Plus, women know that a man who has a good sense of humor is never boring. He’ll be fun to hang with alone or at a party. A man with a sense of humor not only knows how to lighten any situation, but he also knows how to use it during intimacy to deepen the connection.
Women long for a man that they can be themselves around. And one that has a sense of humor is one that they know they can laugh with because, while he can be serious, he won’t take things so seriously that he makes life a drag.
Women want men with a sense of humor because not only do they view these men as more fun, but also as having more long term potential. This is because men with a sense of humor have a higher playfulness level than men who are more serious.
They’re more likely to not be as stressed as men who never really learned to laugh at themselves or at life. A man with a sense of humor is not only witty, but he pays more attention to the world around him - and that includes the woman in his life.
Women pick up on this and it’s more important to them than physical appearance. This is why you’ll often see a beautiful woman out with a guy who looks like there’s no way he should be with her.
Studies have shown that couples who know how to laugh together are happier and more fulfilled than couples who don’t. So if you want to get the girl, be sure and develop your sense of humor.
What Humor Is Appropriate?
Using humor is a great way to break the ice and get to know someone, but you need to know how to use it. A sense of humor isn’t just one type of humor. A man can have different types of humor.
There can be the type of humor that shows a man doesn’t let annoyances build up. He laughs more often than not and people enjoy being around him. This is a way of looking not only at things that can make you laugh individually, but at things that make you laugh as a couple.
Laughing together with the girl that you want to get is not only appropriate humor, but welcomed humor. Laughing with her is one thing. Laughing at her over something that bothers her is another.
When a man laughs with a woman, it’s because he’s supporting something they both enjoy. But when a man laughs at a woman and it’s something that upsets her, that’s never appropriate.
An example of this is laughing at her choice of clothing or laughing because she fell down. It’s especially more of a deal breaker if she fell down and got hurt. Believe it or not, some men finds those things funny, and it’s an instant turn off to a woman.
Humor is appropriate when it’s a connected humor. You’re both laughing at a private joke between the two of you. That’s appropriate. Laughing at a joke or something crude one of your guy friends says about her is never appropriate.
She won’t think it’s funny if you share that any more than you would think it’s funny if her friends were laughing at you. Laughing at a funny movie together is appropriate. Making your date the butt of a prank isn’t.
An example of this would be using juvenile jokes such as making farting noises when she sits down. Not only will you not get the girl, but she’ll think you’re acting like you’re in the first grade.
Humor that’s appropriate is humor that’s not offensive. A man with a sense of humor doesn’t have to rely on saying mean or funny things. Jokes about body parts, religion, different cultures or races aren’t funny.
They’re offensive. Making fun of someone with a disability or someone who has a deformity isn’t appropriate humor and making jokes at someone else’s expense will only make her think you’re a jerk.
Humor toward yourself is funny as long as you don’t end up using so much of it that you make yourself look like an incompetent fool. Women love men who aren’t afraid to poke fun at themselves because it shows that he has strong confidence.
A man who laughs at himself is viewed as friendly and charming more so than a man who’s trying too hard to impress a woman by all his accomplishments. Sarcasm is something that men want to be careful with.
While being snarky can be funny, it has its moments and if you pick the wrong moment, you’ll blow it with the girl that you’re interested in. This is because sarcasm can have a bite to it.
It can make a man sound like he’s making cutting remarks instead of using humor. Only use sarcasm if it’s clear that you’re not making fun of other people or putting your date, or women in general down in any way.
At all costs, you want to avoid using a sense of humor to share bathroom jokes. While guys will roll with laughter and slap each other on the shoulder at bathroom talk, most women don’t find this even remotely funny.
In fact, they think it makes you sound uneducated. So if your sense of humor is to crack bathroom jokes, you might want to rethink your strategy, especially on a first date. Humor is also not appropriate if you’re the only one who gets it.
This usually happens when a man is talking about a book or a movie or a situation that he’s familiar with but the date isn’t. You want to make sure that your sense of humor covers something that’s familiar to her - something that she’ll get and laugh along with you.
When Is Humor Right to Use?
Humor is right to use when you’re really interested in the girl and feel that the interest is reciprocated. If you can make her laugh, it will increase the potential that the girl is going to fall for you.
But you have to remember to be yourself. If you don’t have a sense of humor, it takes practice to not sound like you’re trying too hard. You want to be funny and witty, but not so witty that you end up stuck in the friend zone.
Humor is right to use when you want to get the girl if you talk about something funny that you did that you didn’t mean to be funny. When a man has a sense of humor and uses it in his dating life, it helps women relax around him, to feel like they, too, can be themselves.
In turn, this lowers a woman’s guard and she’ll be more open to you, and more open to saying yes to more dates in the future. Though you can use humor throughout the date, there are three specific times you’ll want to use humor.
The first time that you’ll want to use humor is during the introduction. This is because using humor will make you stand out in her mind. But remember that a pickup line usually comes across as a pickup line even if you try to make it funny.
Humor is something entirely different. Don’t look at it as being about you if the thought of using humor makes you nervous. Look at it as being about her. You’re trying to break the ice and put her at ease.
Keep in mind that while you’re using the humor, you don’t want her to see you as friends only. Make sure that she knows you’re flirting, not just entertaining her from the get go so that you establish the boundaries of where you want the date to go.
The second time that you’ll want to use humor is when talking about yourself as far as what you’ve accomplished in life. This is because too many men brag so much about themselves that they come across as arrogant.
No woman wants to date a guy who’s full of himself. So use humor to your advantage. If you have a long list of accomplishments, there’s nothing wrong with sharing that, but to keep from sounding like you’re arrogant, add something funny.
Say something like, “And I also save the world in my spare time” and she’ll know that you’re ambitious, yet funny. Two things that a woman really likes about a man. The third time you want to make sure you use humor is at the close of the date.
Too many men find that a date turns awkward at the end. They don’t know whether to lean in for a kiss or if it’s too soon. It can be hard to read a woman’s body language. This is where humor can help you.
You can say something funny. Something along the lines of being a guy can be tough. You never know whether to go in for a goodnight kiss or not and instead, kick yourself all way the way home because you didn’t even try, but with humor.
Women appreciate a guy who can navigate the awkward parts of a date transition smoothly. Those are the guys that always get the second date.
When Should You Be Serious?
There’s a time for humor and there’s a time to be serious when you’re trying to get the girl. Here’s something that you’ll want to remember. If it’s something serious to her, it should be something serious to you.
If she laughs about her job, then it’s okay to be funny about that. But if her job is something that she’s worked hard to get and she’s proud of it and doesn’t say anything even remotely funny about it, then you shouldn’t either.
You should be serious if she mentions an ex who was a jerk to her. Cracking a joke when she’s opening up to you about a guy from her past is a foolish move. When a woman does this, she’s telling you because she’s trying to find the ground where you stand.
If you think the way that the ex treated her is wrong or not, always be serious whenever a woman is being vulnerable around you. You should be serious whenever you’re talking about subjects that can be hot button conversation bits.
For example, if she says something about one of her family members, you don’t want to jump on that bandwagon with a joke. You’re still a stranger to her and while it might be okay for her to say something about her family and even to crack a joke, you don’t have that right.
And what will end up happening is she’ll get defensive. So don’t make jokes or try to be funny about a woman’s family. It’s okay for you to share funny things or insights about your own family, but not hers.
Be serious when you meet her friends for the first time. Save the humor until you know them better. They don’t know you and this is the time when they’ll be checking you out to see if they think you’re a good idea for their friend.
Friends have a lot of influence. You won’t want them to think that while you’re funny, you’re so funny you couldn’t possibly be good at a serious relationship in the future. Be serious if the dating relationship goes to the next level and you start sleeping together.
While it’s important for a couple to laugh together, you also want to show her that you have a serious side, a romantic side that connects with her during intimacy. Finally, be serious when you have an argument.
While humor can help ease tension, it can also come across to her that you’re not taking her seriously, that you’re not really listening to her and that’s a good way to bring about the end of a relationship.
If you’re not sure whether you have a good sense of humor, ask some of your close friends and family members. See if women react with a nervous smile, like they’re feeling awkward, or if they’re genuinely laughing along with you.
Don’t use crude humor, sarcasm or stale jokes. Just learn how to be light-hearted about things. Make sure you’re not “on” 24/7, though. A sense of humor is a great personality trait to have, but it shouldn’t be your only one, either.