I saw several articles about how dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and whatever else there is out there were some sort of toxic environment that is ruining romance. As someone who lived and was dating before there was even internet, I guess I kind of agree but also disagree.
I think that these apps can be used to good ends as well and honestly, since technology has basically taken over all aspects of our lives, if you don't get involved you can get left behind.
That being said of course I prefer the way that things used to go when you just met someone by happenstance and if you liked them, you asked them out and away you went. I have been a reluctant participant in dating apps in the past 4 years or so, and I have had a mixed bag of experiences. I'm neither for or against it really.
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if you've never used Tinder or other apps like it, congratulations! I kind of envy you. I personally very much preferred when you would just go to a social outing and be introduced to people and if you and the other person had things in common or some sort of chemistry then things would kind of work themselves out. Due to necessity, I became quite good at "working the room," when I was in my 20's and I'm not trying to brag, but landing a girl wasn't difficult for me. The years go by though and things change and nowadays, I don't think it is entirely possible to meet people randomly anymore because almost anyone that you don't know has their "shields up" in regards to meeting anyone new for dating or really for anything else. This is especially difficult in the expat community as well as far as dating is concerned because often you don't really even know beforehand whether or not the person you have your sights set on from across the room even speaks the same language as you.
I know I have had some embarrassing moments where I got up the courage to go and speak to someone that I thought was checking me out, only to get there and discover that their knowledge of the English language doesn't stretch much beyond "hello." I spent a lot of time learning to speak Thai but honestly, if I were to meet and absolute stunner that only spoke Thai, I wouldn't be very interested in dating them. Communication has become increasingly important to me as I get older and I would say that it is actually more important than whether or not you are physically attracted to someone else.
Tinder/Bumble/etc can be a real pain in the ass though because the ball is definitely in the woman's court as far as matches are concerned.
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Look at those stats. I don't know how they get that information but it does seem to really be in their favor. The app also favors women and is clearly targeting men in order to get them to pay for subscriptions. I was hanging out with a female friend of mine and she opened her Tinder and just swiped like mad for a long period of time without getting cut off. On my same app, I was limited to a certain number of "like" swipes before the screen came up trying to charge me money to continue. I will not pay for something like that so I just shut it off.
I also have gotten in the habit of just clicking "like" on every single person, I don't even look at the pictures and then will weed them out later. I have "matched" with several ladyboys and even some women that I am not at all attracted to because of this but the alternative of looking intently at their pictures and reading their bio only to have them never contact you gets old really quick. I suppose the experience would be different for people that are better looking than I am.
A lot of people say that they hate Tinder, even the girls that I have met up with and had good dates with. It seems almost everyone has that opinion but all of us are kind of trapped because it has become something that you kind of have to use. Sure, if we all refused that would put them out of business and out of our lives but that isn't going to happen. There are also a lot of scammers on Tinder and I have been contacted by several "women" that were clearly bots and they always get to how you need to send them some money because they are in a bind. I would never do this of course and block and report them when this happens.
On the other side of things though, I know several couples that are quite happy now and have been together for years and they met on a dating app. They likely wouldn't have met one another if it weren't for the app so I guess there is some reason for it to exist that is beneficial. They are a bit embarrassed to admit that this is how them met but I think MOST people meet this way now.
For me, I will swipe on it between sets in the gym or something like that, but I never really put a great deal of faith in it. My profile is very honest and I don't use any filters because I don't want them to meet with me and say the typical "you don't look like your pictures." I have met up with women who looked nothing like their pictures and I am kind of wondering what the ultimate objective here is on their part. Did you think I wouldn't notice? haha
In the end I feel as though Tinder has a purpose and that purpose can actually be kind of good. I do wish that we could go back to the way things are but then again, I am the type of person that doesn't embrace most technology and feel as though monetizing something like romance is a horrible scourge on humanity. That doesn't change the fact that it is just the way that it is now and it's kind of up to you how much you allow it to affect you. One bad thing that can happen is that after someone is already dating someone that they met on a dating app, they continue to use it to find more and well, that's not nice now is it?
I'll be in the gym later today swiping right on every single profile that I see until my free swipes run out. Maybe I'll find someone, but I am certainly not counting on it, nor to I particularly care if that happens for me.