Love is built on the obvious things — the grand gestures, the romantic proclamations, the vows — but, honestly, it’s the overlooked, often humbler moments that truly strengthen it. It’s in the routine, the small sacrifices, and even the silent prayers we make on someone else’s behalf. I’ve come to realize that love isn’t only in the fireworks; sometimes, it’s in the whisper of a single match strike, barely noticed but incredibly warm.
- Listening — Really Listening
Not the kind of passive listening where you hear but don’t absorb, but the kind where you set aside your ego for a moment and really step into their world. There’s a line in The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran that says, “Let there be spaces in your togetherness.” I’ve found this kind of listening builds those spaces — the selfless silence where your partner can safely unburden their fears, their dreams, their anger. It’s not about fixing, defending, or waiting for your turn to speak. It’s about hearing them in the raw.
The Bible reminds us in James 1:19, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” I’ve tried to live by this in relationships, and it makes love softer, gentler. It’s surprising how trust deepens just by giving someone room to be themselves without interruption.
- Being Present in the Mundane
Love is far more about folding laundry together on a Tuesday night than it is about champagne toasts on anniversaries. I learned this after reading about Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor. He wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning about how even his captors couldn’t take away his ability to love his wife in memory. He described musing on her face as he stood in the freezing cold, a spiritual anchor in unbearable conditions. His love had nothing to do with “events.” It was the smallness and purity of presence, even if only in thought.
For me, that realization hit unexpectedly in the middle of meal prepping with my partner. It’s in those moments when you’re both chopping onions, barely talking, sharing ordinary space — it’s like love is hiding in plain sight. The Buddha’s teachings on mindfulness remind us to be fully present, even in the most everyday tasks, and that devotion ripples outward into a deeper love.
- Forgiving the Little Things
It’s wild to me how easily we hold grudges over things that don’t matter. I’ve done it — you know, getting mad because they forgot to unload the dishwasher or because they left that stupid water bottle on the living room floor (again). But love really grows in those quiet seconds when you choose to let it go. Jesus told Peter in Matthew 18:22 that we should forgive “not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Forgiveness isn’t big drama; it’s a daily decision to purposefully overlook small faults.
I’ve noticed how much better things became when I stopped keeping a tally. Those little grievances can quietly pile up like bricks in a wall until suddenly, you’ve built a fortress between two hearts. Loving stronger means dismantling those walls every single day.
- Acts of Service
Love becomes stronger with action, not just feelings. I think about St. Teresa of Avila writing about how “God walks among the pots and pans,” suggesting divinity lies even in the smallest acts of care. When I make my partner a cup of coffee exactly the way he likes it, or when he fixes my favorite sweater without being asked, it’s not just a task. It’s love in service of the other person’s happiness.
Acts of service are a tangible language of love, and they don’t need to be grand — sometimes it’s scraping snow off the windshield or surprising them by restocking their favorite snacks. These moments say, “I notice. I care.”
- Not Shrinking Their Joy
One of the overlooked ways I’ve seen love deepen — at least for me — is learning to truly celebrate their wins without letting my own insecurities whisper otherwise. Sometimes, when someone I care about achieves something major, there’s this tiny, shameful voice shouting, “What about you? Why not you?” But love is about silencing that voice and letting their achievements feel like your own.
Rainer Maria Rilke puts it beautifully: “Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and border and greet each other.” Strong love means standing on the sidelines and cheering louder than anyone else, fueling the momentum of their success, even when you’re paddling through your own struggles.
- Prayer or Spiritual Unity
I don’t think love can last without something bigger holding it together. In the moments when I’ve prayed for the person I love or with them, I’ve felt this inexplicable shift. When you step into that sacred space — whether it’s prayer, meditation, or just holding positive energy for each other — you’re opening yourself to a love that’s beyond this world. I think of Ecclesiastes 4:12: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” That third cord, for me, is God.
There’s something so powerful about asking for protection, guidance, and blessings for your partner. Or even simply lighting incense together and meditating. It feels less like we’re two people navigating this life alone and more like we’re part of some divine energy knitting us closer together.
Remembering the Stories
Love grows stronger when you choose to revisit the stories. Do you ever reach back to that first smile, the first laugh, the goofy things you both did early on? Often, the mundane grind of everyday life steals away the magic of the journey you’ve taken together. But it’s your story. I sometimes reread old anniversary cards or recount the exact moment we locked eyes in a crowd. There’s this quote in Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë: “I have for the first time found what I can truly love — I have found you.” Digging up those early moments helps me remember why I found him in the first place, beyond all the chaos we’ve accumulated since.Letting Love Evolve
Love doesn’t look the same year after year, and that’s okay. It ebbs and flows, and sometimes you wake up thinking, Do I fully know this person anymore? Those moments have terrified me. But what I’ve learned is that love isn’t always about staying the same; it’s about evolving together. Marcus Aurelius once said, “Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.”
Love doesn’t stand still — it molds itself around all the new versions of you and them. Becoming stronger isn’t about holding onto what it used to be but about appreciating how it changes without faltering.
Love isn’t something you grow just once. It’s these small, almost invisible gestures, beliefs, and habits that make it bloom continuously.
It’s not the big romantic speeches — it’s making the effort to fold the blankets for them in the morning, or sitting together in the quiet hum of the universe, feeling like you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
That’s the kind of love I’d carve into eternity.
