Dear Diary: I'm Drifting

I'm drifting in and out of consciousness with no chance of respite, fighting every day with no chance of victory. I find that I'm exhausted but have to keep going because the closest pitstop is an oasis shaped like a mirage.

I'm trying to be upbeat and always wear a smile but to be completely honest, I haven't been happy in a while. I'm so exhausted, everything pisses me off, I'm lost in the battle that I never asked to be a part of.

I think I have friends but it feels weird, like I'm the one at the back of the pack, trying to catch up to the rest. I'm trying to move forward because I'm not a charity case but I'm always open to be assisted and assist for charity's sake.

I haven't had a drink in while and it's got me cranky, I'm thinking the thoughts I'm thinking may not be well thought out. I'm scared of my self because I might be dependent on the courage that is of Dutch origin.

Sleep has come to me and it's come very early, like a Sunday tonic that scratches the surface, only barely. I have one religion and that religion is love, I'll preach incessantly when I return; when I'm back and I stop drifting.

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