If we are born, we will die … yet, we celebrate birth, but we are afraid of death. Why is that? Both birth and death are part of a dramatic life change. Both can be painful and traumatic. Both cause tears: one of joy, one of sorrow.
Natural death may come after a long illness, or it may happen suddenly. I think natural death is simply when the body is done living. What is not natural is our acceptance of it. We naturally want to hold on to the people we love. In holding on, we create a space that is hostile to the idea of death. We create a space that denies the possibility of death. That is when death becomes less than natural.
So, you see, any death is “natural.” It has little to do with whether the dying person is peaceful or not, but we prefer they are peaceful. It has little to do with whether the person is in pain or not, but we prefer they be comfortable with as little pain as possible. Natural death has little to do with the length of time it takes a body to die. Although we may prefer that processes happen quickly for the sake of our loved one, the reality is the dying person may need more time.
Natural death has more to do with the people around the dying person than with the individual who is dying. If those surrounding the dying person can be peaceful, loving and accepting of what is taking place, there is better chance the loved one will have a much more “natural” death. It doesn’t mean we deny our sadness or grief. Death is always a separation for those still living. It’s going to make us sad, and it’s going to bring us grief. That’s OK. Grief is the price we pay for love. It’s only natural.
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