Coffins

Coffins. Or more specifically, your coffin. I suspect you haven't thought about it much. Most people don't until they get old, or really old, or until they don't have the energy left to knock on death's door. This isn't good enough, people! You need to take charge while you still have your marbles, or at least enough of them to play the old people's favourite game of annoying the crap out of your relatives.

Maybe you think you won't need a coffin, Cremation and all that. WRONG! They still need to put you in something before you slide towards your fiery final destination. Maybe you want to be buried standing up (it does take a lot less room) but you will need more than your best party clothes for that. Those who do the burying don't like to manhandle a human body into a tight little hole in the ground. It's just too awkward and prone to lead to comedy rather than solemnity.

So, let's think this through. Do nothing and it's highly likely you will be ripped off by those who feed off our reluctance to think ahead about our own death. Undertakers are specialist who are highly trained in taking advantage of the living whilst the living are busy grieving over the dead. You will get the coffin with the highest price mark-up. Which surviving relative wants to be seen as stingy at times like this?

Now, you could buy your own coffin now. That's not that unusual for those who do plan their funerals ahead to the final hurrah. Graveyard and tombstone: tick. Hymns and songs: tick. Food and drink: tick. Will and testament: tick.

But few amongst us want to make a hobby out of planning their own funeral. Those who do tend to be the ones that survive stubbornly for ridiculously long times, generally outstaying their welcome. When they do go, no-one can find their final instructions anyway.

So here's my suggestion. Don't leave it to chance. Don't buy your own coffin. Build it.

Yep, craft it with your own hands. It's not that hard. Join the local woodworking class and announce it as your first project. Make it as glorious as you want, or as cheap as you want. Plywood, pine or mahogany, no matter. It's your choice. Personalise. Customise. Accessorize. Ornamentize. Go wild!

Put your proud stamp on your coffin. This is the final impression you will make on this mortal coil. Make it a good one!

It's just an idea.