Depression is just "made up".

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I was not totally updated with what is going on in the Philippine social media because I was so busy homesteading and learning a lot of things about bitcoin and the like. I was not even aware of the issue about Joey de Leon saying in front of live audience in Eat Bulaga about depression, not until I've checked the news over a Facebook post.

Based on the article written by Rappler and some other networks online, the host was sorry for what he said. He hoped that it would open doors for discussion about this public mental health problem. You can watch and read here about Joey De Leon apologizing for his remarks about depression. I wish not to discuss what occurred when the episode was aired in GMA7.

Depression and my failures in life
People who have and are suffering with depression cannot help but to cry foul for the words spoken by the host days ago. I, for one, has been suffering from depression. I mentioned how my depression started (here ) after the passing of my sister.

It has been so long but the pain has always been so fresh. It really took a toll on my life especially on the opportunities that passed by. I always wanted to be a doctor when I was on my last year in high school and help small communities by providing them medical missions and IECs (Information, Education, and Communication). I also wanted to see my sister get well, but I ended up so disappointed how my life turned out. I lost a best friend and I gave up on my dream on becoming a physician.

Depression does not only affect your well-being but also how you perceive things in life.

I graduated in college with honors. Well, I just wanted to maintain my scholarship because my sister's illness took a toll on our financial status. College life was hard because I wanted to do a lot of things but we were so financially constraint, even until now. I remember one time, I was totally depressed when my scholarship was in jeopardy because I had an AF mark on my NSTP subject. I wanted to die at that moment and spent my nights crying and asking that someone would help me out. I tried to resolve my problem by facing it first. Luckily, after three months, my grade in that subject went okay.

I had been to different relationships as well and those were all failures. I got into four relationships which were all unsuccessful. The last one lasted for years, could have gotten married with him last year but it is just that we were never meant to be to begin with. I felt frustrated how things turn out and at the same time I was very depressed.

After college, I decided to take up Bachelors of Law, but depression has affected me a lot that it even compromised my health. I left law school no matter how good I tried. I even had different jobs which were good paying but depression made me very unhappy with my work. Last June, I should have been part of a prestigious organization that aims to enrich the lives of every Filipino children but depression made me feel so alone while I was still on the Summer Institute.

I am still on the process to develop myself and cope up with my depression.

Depression was never made up. It has never been an excuse for someone not to do or finish something. Having depression is more than having insecurities and fears in life.

How am I trying to counter depression then?

1. Every time I feel so depressed while remembering my sister, I cannot help but sing the lines of I'm missing you. I also counter it by singing my heart out or paint my emotions. I pour out my emotions that after doing it I felt somewhat relieved and happy.
   
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2. I read scriptures from the Bible I really meditate day and night. I also try to learn from the stories of others.
   
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3. Mingle with strangers and listen to the story of others.

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I know, depression has never been easy for everyone who had been through no matter how small others think about it. We all have our ways to somehow lessen the feeling of being depressed. It is important to know that helping others who experience the same problem will really be great.