I don't want to start this article with a sympathetic invite or hand hold through a dismal story about how I hate my life and can't bear to stand it for a second longer, why? because there's more hope than that.
Whenever you're asked about your day or how you're feeling you often default to a response about how cold the weather is or that you're particularly pissed off that the toilet roll hasn't been replaced in the staff toilets. This isn't the definition of depression and you're not going to be crying yourself to sleep about the fact you had to work on the weekend when you were 'promised' a day off by your manager. However, this is the beginning of a trail towards a destructive and self-imploding mindset that trickles down through your psyche and into your everyday thoughts and outlook on life.
I write this post on the back of working with people who burden themselves with this same negativity and immoral expenditure of ever spiralling acuteness towards their overall perspective on life in general. Without fail I will be met with an 'it's a bit cold outside' or a 'do you see how busy it is in here' one-liner that will set the mood between future conversations and interactions between the two of us and will ultimately lead to an overcast of negativity shadowing most if not every social exchange.
So what's my issue with this seemingly menial and over-dramatised sentiment? why do I care so much about it? I care because it's started taking an effect on my general consensus of work primarily and is slowly beginning to trickle down into my everyday life. At first, I was elated with the news of my new job and now that I have been fully indoctrinated into my no longer brand new surroundings, I feel myself despising every single minute of my once exciting and enjoyable day to day responsibilities. And why is that? it's because of the toxicity being created by people who have too much comfort in their lives, they strive for nothing and they desire even less. The most exhilarating part of their day is the news that the bus route that they usually go on has been stopped and that they'll have to walk 5 minutes down the road to get on the other bus to get to work on time.
The issue has never been the place of work and job itself to a degree as I have been fortunate enough to be given employment by the people who have hired me and I am forever grateful for the opportunity given to me. Even though I desire something more mentally fulfilling is beside the point, surrounding yourself with positive people and having co-workers who are engaged and passionate about something either in their job or their life at home are the ones who make a difference for the better. Negativity festers from all corners and rots at an impervious structure and makes something that was once so strong and sturdy become weak and perilous, having a depressive mindset starts from these people and begins as a slow-burning 'nothing' conversation with a co-worker and over weeks, months and years can influence the strongest in to being malleable and porous to this turgid way of thinking.
This has happened to me, I've begun to describe my days as 'it was a bit shit again today' to my girlfriend and dread the phone call I will inevitably receive to come into work and do some overtime to help out around the shop. And today it stops, and I urge you to do the same. It's not a noticeably damning selection of words to use but once the people you love and care about begin to expect the same responses from you... and that will happen, it becomes an issue. I have everything I could want in life without possessing large quantities of money, a stable career, a marriage or kids (I am 20 so that would be a bit worrying) or anything regularly connotated with the state of happiness, I have my health and those who love me and the rest can figure itself out. In a world of being over-fed, over-compensating and over-thinking, there's a real disillusion with the core beliefs of what should make someone content and happy with their lives.
The most powerful people in the world are those of whom you place the most importance on, don't waste your time on those who bring you down.