The Red Pill or the Blue Pill

We all know what this refers to. The red pill, or the blue pill.

There's no turning back. After this, it's your last chance. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

I'm sure all of you at one stage in your life have been asked or heard of that famous quote. The option of ignorance, or reality. The Matrix offered us a trilogy that opened our mind's to the lives we live, shrouded by our own fatal illusions, and the deconstruction and reconstruction of finding meaning them; the distance the rabbit hole can take us when we choose to travel it. I found the meaning echoed when I watched Alice In Wonderland, recently, as well. Where her adventures take her deep into a rabbit hole, and she builds herself to be a courageous leader, and once she's found her way out, she takes her life in her own hands. I've taken an embrace with the metaphor of the rabbit hole, and the reality of these meanings.

Will you embrace the painful truth of reality, and take the red pill, or will you accept the blissful ignorance of illusion and take the blue pill.

I've come to realise recently, that the life I live, is my own. I need to take charge, I need to get out of the illusion of a life I've built for myself and make it something meaningful. I'm starting here, on Steemit. I'm taking a FOREX course, I'm working more to try and earn my way. I'm studying a full time bachelor's degree and have already achieved a Diploma of Business Administration, through hard work and my own determination. I have many a battles, and multiple people in my life have told me it's just not for me. Even my university Engineering Headmaster said, 'If you can't handle it now, you won't be able to handle it in the future' (in relation to my anxiety and depression dampening my ability to achieve more than I can muster at university).

I have recently just ended a relationship that I thought was my entire life. I thought if I lost her, I would lose myself. My life would have no meaning and I wouldn't be anything more than another failure at something. But during this uphill battle, I've come to realise that I am the controller of my life and my happiness. I realised that for so long, I had been taking the the blue pill, and I've taken the red pill now.

My life has so much more meaning than a relationship that ended. My life has so much more potential than putting my happiness in the hands of someone else. I am the owner of my life, and I am making decisions and taking control and giving it meaning. My depression has been vicious lately, with a vengeance from hell, and I've been struggling to take each day as it comes.

I am feeling numb, and hopeless and I choose today to turn that around. I choose to grow, conquer, learn, and be better. I choose to be good, as a person and as a player in this game of life. I have been down the rabbit hole, and I have seen as far as it can take me. Now, it's time to show myself where I can take me.

In saying that, I've given myself goals. And one of those is to work hard at uni. So, I'm off to study.

Here's a lovely quote, that sticks in my head often, for me to leave you with.

I cannot wait to say that in ten years time, I chose my life; I didn't settle for it.

Cheers,

Sienna
& Remember to #standbehindsteemit