I will get out of bed. In a little while my ex-husband will pick me up to drive me to his place so I can have a birthday dinner with my two boys. But I'm feeling just terrible. This time last year I was so bad off with depression I spent it alone... not able to do anything but log onto facebook and peek at the messages I was getting wishing me a happy birthday.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I have a course I am taking for seeking employment, but I am dreading going back to it on Monday. I am tired... I'm so tired. I wish I could pull the covers up over my head and just sleep til... I don't know when.
I will pull myself together now and make the effort to have a good time with my boys. I don't get to see them as often as I like, so when I do, I make sure we all have a happy and good time. But it's hard. It's hard when you've got a depression like this... the tremendous energy it takes just to do that.
I don't know what I would do without steemit and discord #steemspeak to be honest. They are the only thing that makes me feel like my life isn't just a complete and utter disaster at times.
I was doing ok... until I got into an argument with my ex-husband a couple of days ago... and ever since then I have been in an emotional tailspin.
Anyways... that's what's going on. I wish... I don't know.
I'm so depressed I can't even summon up the mental energy to wish for anything.
I want to give you an upvote for your birthday, not for the visit of depression. I hope your time with your boys adds some sparkle to the darkness. Hugs, take it easy, it is ok to be real <3
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See this sunset? Its a reminder that every day is a chance for a brand new start.
Is he worth stealing your joy!?
I only just met you and your beauty shines through your posts. ☆☆☆
Its just a rotation around the sun, numbers don't matter nearly as much as identifying where you want to be.
Allowing jerky ex's ro siphon you to depression, or happy following the guidance of what your heart is trying to tell you with the depression its sharing.
May tomorrow be a better day
~☆~
I hope you shining you amazing strong soul.
~♡~
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Hope this birthday would turn up your things positively , stay optimistic and happy birthday :)
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Step back and analyze what happened so far. You have two boys,a husband and time to spend and lay back. Take it in and think about what else could help you. You can tell your husband and you can seek support here. I am always open to talk about this as I am going through various depressive things and I know how it is to be close to people and yet alone!
Hang in there! Listen to your children tell you about their day.
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Oh and Happy Birthday ! :D
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Happy Birthday, I hope your day got better. I was really dragging in December (makes for a terrible Christmas), I feel ya. Cost me a part time cash job and now I still have a bunch of catch up to do.
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I really feel you there. I often feel quite depressed on "celebratory" occasions. You're not alone on that one by any means. I hope you're feeling better and you found some valuable inner knowledge through your introspection. Happy birthday :)
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Writing this down is important work .Maybe someone will read this post and feel less alone in their own depression realising there's others out there who feel it too. It's so unfair that a bright, proactive person like yourself has to go through this. However, as i'm sure you know, depression comes and goes on different levels. You're feeling it bad right now, but it won't be so intense forever. Sometime round the corner things will feel different. Go with the feelings. You're a good writer, maybe you can write it all out for now.
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Happy birthday! Hope you are feeling better.
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