https://www.liberalcurrents.com/deradicalizing-the-center
I think about this piece a lot. A lot of people mention Daryl Davis whenever the discussion turns to how to handle bigots, but few mention Derek Black.
I've got no problem with Davis' approach, but a big part of the point of Davis' approach was that he was a black person and thus it was a humanizing encounter for the white supremacists. It doesn't really work if you aren't the target of the bigotry.
At best you'll persuade the person, but you can do that without platforming those individuals- engaging with and rebutting ideas doesn't require platforming those individuals. At worst, you'll normalize the person, and as Derek Black explained that's exactly what many of them are specifically aiming for. In Black's case, ostracizing- especially by his close friends- was exactly what made him reflect on his views and escape white supremacy.
And as a friend mentioned, if you aren't the target of the bigotry you also just aren't entitled to forgive the bigot for hurting the target. That's their choice.
Deplatforming dovetails with this. Yes deplatforming can further entrench extremists, but it also reduces their audience reach substantially. They don't really recover from it. No one really engages with that latter point when they mention people like Daryl Davis. But it is a real cost in the calculus.