Competing and comparison over popularity and success on steemit

Since I started blogging on steemit, a few days ago, I have had this growing, touch within me, of angst from not being able to write stuff that people can like. To be popular and to have lots of income, from my blogging on steemit.

It have been this little spike/spite/angst within myself that now (suddenly) blows up in my face and in my mind, like fireworks. I experience this frustration over going into comparing with other steemers. It is not pleasant. It is like angst and hurtful friction within me. Competing and comparison is really a darker dimension of the human mind and nature. Just to have that sorted out in the open.

I would go into comparing myself to X and to participate in backchats/thoughts within my mind/head: "I can't write like this", "this is like impossible" and "I can't become popular and liked like X is".

Really, if we look into the capitalistic system, it rewards abuse and ego. The very core of it. The more plants, animals or humans one can abuse and hurt - the more one is rewarded with money. Lots of money.
Basics of capitalism. Obviously we need to change this. Change starts with self...

I would like to reach as many people as possible with my message. I want to be self - honest, and clear with what I share. There is a saying that truth tellers have few friends. We will see when people are ready for more transparency, or when I can manage to be more self - honest and genuine... I guess patience is the word I am looking for here !

So anyways, I would like to clear out my mind of its bothers, being angst from competing and comparing myself to others. The best way to clear self (metaphysically/dimensionally) is with self forgiveness.
Here we go:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into competing and comparing myself to X and to end up in angst and frustration, feeling inferior and low within from comparing my success and the success of X on steemit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel depressed and low from taking on competing and comparing within the activity of making money on steemit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within backchats/thoughts like: "I can't write like this", "this is impossible", "there is something wrong with me", and "I can't become popular and liked like X is".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my backchats and create my world/life according to my backchats/believes of inferiority/low.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in time and effort to be - lie - ve.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I can't be as successful as X.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to polarize myself as inferior to X.

I commit myself to be self honest and genuine with what I write.
I commit myself to not compromise myself.
I commit myself to take on and investigate the word patience.

Thanks for reading.

Please ask me if questions/feedback.
links:

http://desteni.org/
http://desteniiprocess.com/
http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/
https://eqafe.com/
https://warnomore.wordpress.com/
https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/