"How to Conquer Difficult People"

"How to Conquer Difficult People"
How do you win difficult people?

There are people who are attracted or in love with someone, but this person whom they feel attracted to or in love does not accept their invitations to leave, does not respond to their emails and sms, does not answer their phone calls, does not want to be more than friend And does not want dating, sex or sex.

These people are called difficult ... because one tries and tries and insists and persists and is experienced and made and is said and done ... and everything remains the same.

You continue without getting what you want. They do not surrender, they do not surrender, they do not give up and they do not correspond and satisfy the other person.

So how do you get these difficult people?

It's simple:

You do not get it.

Because?

Because the only "entity" in tooodo the Universe that feels the desire and the need to conquer something or someone ... is our old and annoying human ego friend =)

To want to conquer a person is to want to get a positive reaction from him and want to get Validation.

It is to want to own the person and to command it, controlling their reactions.

And how can you do this?

Through manipulation.

And handling is mediocre. Handling = Trash.

Soon you do not want to conquer anyone ... you want to be naturally attractive, know how to create options and meet people and be consciously selective.

Because wanting to win someone is a challenge ... because it is difficult, complicated, gives work, requires effort and investment ... but it is an unsuccessful investment.

This desire comes from the ego's need for validation. Because by conquering someone difficult, one is demonstrating to oneself and to the world that one has value because one is able to achieve difficult things that most can not.

There are essentially two types of challenge: one to evolve and the other to be validated.

The first, alright ... the second, is dysfunctional and harmful.

Because you live blind and desperate to try to win the person "x" to be able to feel and demonstrate that you have value.

One thinks of 1001 different schemes, one is dishonest, manipulates and deceives the person, and ready, one can "conquer" the person "x".

Except that once you have gained the "x" person, what is the reason you want to be with her? None!

The reason was getting validation ... it had nothing to do with how the person was and how his personality was, or with being with her.

Soon there is a great probability of having "wasted" time trying to conquer a person with low self-esteem, negative, dishonest, manipulative, lying, false, etc., who will not contribute anything to our personal fulfillment, Which then can still betray us, steal, harm and negatively influence.

Which is not a big deal.

And then there is something else ...

It's just that there are no difficult human beings ... that's in the Truth an illusion.

When a human being perceives something or someone as a source of positive emotions or pleasure, something that makes him feel good in a certain way, He will want more from this source of positive emotions.

He will want to be more with this person ... more and more time, more intensely and deeply.

There are only two things in Truth: to approach or to depart. There is no middle ground here, and you will understand why.

Because if a person is "difficult" for someone, this can mean essentially two things:

1. There is no attraction . She does not feel sexually attracted to the other person and so she just wants friendship. This is because there is no male / female polarity as I have explained in previous posts.

This has no evil, but it must always work through the Reality of situations.

Insisting and trying to convince her will not result in anything. In fact, it even goes: Will make the person still feel more repelled.

The person in this case is "difficult" because he does not feel the emotions necessary to want intimacy.

It is not difficult, it simply does not feel motivated or stimulated by the other person.

She does not want to have intimacy or sex with her because the other person does not have the qualities necessary to naturally cause her this kind of desire.

The solution is always to develop a naturally attractive personality. Not because of a specific person, but to have the kind of personal life and intimate relationship you want.

1. The person is being manipulated by the "difficult" person.

Let's imagine a simple situation here. Person "A" is the interested person, and person "Y" is difficult.

Person "A" does not sexually attract "Y", so "Y" does not want to have intimacy or sex with "A" and just wants to have a friendship.

Well, maybe "Y" does not even want to have a friendship with "A" ...

Why?

Because "A" in demonstrating your love interest in "Y" is validating it. It is giving you validation. And the ego of "Y" will look at the situation and think:

"It's brutal shovel! A validation source for free! I'll enjoy this !! ".

So what does "Y" do?

"Y" will have a very specific and intentional attitude toward "A". "Y" will manipulate "A" to continue to have its validation source.

"Y" is giving crumbs to "A" to keep him entertained and give him a false hope that something might happen or be between them. Of course, it's always something that "A" wants very much.

Upon receiving one of these crumbs ("Y" false interest) "A" then thinks:

"I have a chance with her / him! I have to try harder! I know I'll be able to conquer it! After this (crumb) I'm almost sure she / he likes me! I can not miss this opportunity! "

Except that "Y" does not want anything with "A" ... only its validation, that is, demonstration of interest.

And this can be of the most varied forms: praise, gifts, dinners, company, help, favors, support, phone calls, etc.

And "A", because he has hope, he will do all this and much more for "Y" ... to conquer and obtain from him what he so desires.

But "Y" knows that this "A" hope can go away at any moment, and there goes the valuable and valuable source of validation. What is unacceptable to the ego of "Y".

Then "Y" will make a game called "The Game of Distances" =)

In this fun game of distances "Y" will proceed as follows:

When you realize that "A" is approaching too much, .

When you realize that "A" is moving too far, it will come closer.

"Y" wants to get it without giving. "Y" does not want to share, just get. So it does not interest you that "A" is too close, just close enough to get your validation.

"Y" does not want to give, but wants to get. And "Y" does not want to lose its source of validation ... so it does not matter to you that "A" goes away completely, and goes away to give validation to any "P", "C" or "M".

And then the poor "A" walks from one side to the other, Sometimes to think that he has hypotheses with "Y" and to approach and to try (to give validation) or to think that it does not give, to think of giving up, to decide to leave, and suddenly there returns the "Y "With a phone call, an invitation to something or a request, again creating a false hope in" A ".

If "A" had been dedicated to his personal and spiritual development, if he had developed a naturally attractive personality, if he had created options in his social and loving life, and if he were consciously selective, none of this would have happened to him.

But because "A" has low self-esteem, lives trapped inside the head through the ego, thinks that love is the same as validation, does not know how to create options or meet new people, lives life without intention, and has no idea Of what conscious selection is, Is being completely controlled and manipulated by "Y," and feels dissatisfied and frustrated.

The human ego's day-to-day life is bestial, is not it? =)

It is not difficult to come to the conclusion that there are many people (many even) at this time around the world who unfortunately are in the situation of "A" and therefore feel unhappy and suffer.

As for you I do not know, but for me this is completely unnecessary.

So what about our friend "Y"? It's mediocre is not it ...?

Yes and no.

His decisions and behavior are mediocre, he does not.

It has the same value as all other humans. Same value as me and you.

Only you are lost ... you do not know how to go around low self-esteem, and it is your ego that controls you completely. "Y" is in fact suffering as well.

On the surface it looks like the smart-ass villain who must be shot down, and "A" looks like the helpless victim who must be saved and helped and who should be pitied.

Well, the Truth is not that.

One should not feel sorry for "A" or "Y".

I know this sounds awful, but you'll see what I mean ...

It's a pity that it's a GREAT TRET. It is a mere expression of the ego.

Notice this: do you feel sorry for those who perceive themselves to be inferior to us or worse off than us ... and who defines it? The ego!

Only the ego is functioning through the inferior and superior.

"Poor ... he's worse than me."

"Poor thing ... he's less than me."

"Poor thing ... feels worse than me."

These are just ego expressions. "I am superior, he is inferior, I'm going to pity him soon enough. "

True compassion has nothing to do with pity. Nothing to see.

To have pity is in the Truth a logical decision ... and it is only for some cases. For those who are somehow worse than us.

Nobody can pity a famous actor and millionaire, who has a big mansion, a collection of luxury cars, has a brutal health and goes to bed every week with a different playmate ... Incidentally

, most people up to Will hate you, criticize you, envy you, want to harm you and destroy what he has good and gives you pleasure.

Because? Because your ego feels inferior to this famous actor and millionaire.

They feel uncomfortable and to try to "balance" the situation of value will try to pull you down. Instead of pulling themselves up ...

Because evolving and changing is soooooooooooooooooooooo much more than being sitting on the couch criticizing someone who appears on television;) Compassion is something you have for all human beings. Be they "worse" or "better" than we are. Have them more or less than we do.

It is living through the Truth that we all have the same value.

We all ... have ... the ... same ... VALUE.

It is to have compassion for the "A", the "Y" and the famous millionaire actor.

Of course, because the ego only wants to obtain validation and feel superior to others, he will soon find 1001 logical reasons not to do so and to justify criticism, judgments, convictions, hatred, envy, Manipulation, fighting, war, dishonesty, competition, comparison, harmful and destructive act, aggressive reaction, addiction, The desire to want to have orgasms with strangers, to want to conquer someone, etc.

One can only have true compassion, and not mere pity, freeing oneself from ego and its useless constant need for validation.

And it is a fabulous sensation of constant pleasure, inner peace, self-esteem, unconditional love and TRUE FREEDOM.

So do not lose the desire to want to conquer someone. This person is either not attracted to you (and this has no harm, does not take away absolutely no value) or is manipulated and used as a source of personal validation that could be placed in the suitcase or wallet to use As a "self-esteem" tablet.

You must live life so that you never get caught up in a situation where you feel the need to conquer someone difficult. Mainly understanding what this means and dedicating yourself to your personal evolution.

Conquer yourself, not others. Have Compassion for yourself and you will be able to have Compassion for all around you. True Compassion.