*A rare, signed, higher resolution and non-watermarked version of this image is available for download at: https://creary.net/digitalart/@jaichai/jaichai-original-digital-art-looking-back-i-wish
["You're never too young to feel love...or regret." - Dr. E.A.P. , my late father and first mentor in life.]
When I was a young man, the first woman I ever truly loved lost her battle with Cancer.
That's when I learned how the mind can play some pretty f*cked-up tricks on people; even on the most stoic among us - people like me.
For the next couple months after the funeral, a few times a day, I swear that for just a split second or two, I would see her in my peripheral vision.
Many times while walking down the street, I would reflexively stop, turn, look back and imagine catching glimpses of her walking away around a corner or momentarily sittiing inside a coffee shop.
Then poof, she vanishes agai!
For decades, I never told anyone except my father about it. He was a retired shrink for U.S. Veterans Administration.
He listened patiently, then said, "Son, it's a process, an important part of dealing with personal loss. Just know that it's normal and trying to block it out leads to worse things down the line. It also means that you must've really loved her. I miss her too. Talk to me whenever, ok?"
That was the first of many times that I had to deal with the death of a loved one or fellow soldier.
For every victim or fallen comrade, it (dying) was different.
For me, the aftermath was always the same - horribly heartbreaking.
But to honor the loved ones that I hope to see again someday, I continually strive to be the kindest version of myself.
'Nuff said.
Thanks for reading my ramblings.
Enjoy the art.
And may you and yours be well and loving life today.
In Lak'ech, JaiChai.
(JaiChai 13 Jul 2022. Simultaneous multi-site submissions posted. All rights reserved.)