Should I Stay Or Should I Go

in dimentia •  8 years ago 

So for the past couple of weeks Ive been in turmoil over a work desicion. This job offer will ask of me to relocate that is the only way to work at this new offer. The big desicion intails leaving my kids so I can relocate and work for an employer that is willing to pay me double of what I can get at any job around the desolate place in wich I live. Well I decided family, but the world seems to have other plans because Now it seems that I am forced to move in order to gain capitol as fast as possible. Family plays a big factor for me, I have been taking care of my mother for around two years now, She suffers from mental illness and refuses help. Every time I try she find some way of haulting the prosses. I think she might be suffering from schizophrenia /demensia. The reason I have come to this conclusion withouth being a medical doctor or psychiotrist is because of what she is experiensing. First off she "sees" dead people , like in the rochak test , she sees figuers on the floors in the walls and even on my own skin. Now forgive me for being a non believer in the weird stuff but I dont think hearing voices is normal. Everyone thinks shes faking it, but I know better. Now on o the subject of my Grandma. My grandma on my mothers side my moms mom, has always taken care of me. She is in her 80's and I like to visit her. She is my last grandparent ,my grandfather on my fathers side passed away a couple years back... I never got to say goodbye and he never got to see my kids grown up. I beatmyself up all the time about that , I should of asked for time off from work, even thogh I was fairly new and had no time off accumulated. I stayed , I worked because I know thats what he would of wanted. However I did not know It would affect my fathers view towards me . Well I think thats enogh for now Like I said I'm no writer and lack basic skills to write but im gonna get my story accross one way or the other I still can't decide whether to stay or go.

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