Oct 1st, I woke before 1 am… and 7:30 am… and washed the dishes. A guy I see frequently who is always nice and quiet was cleaning the whole kitchen, sinks, stove, counters, and floor. Wyatt came in and cursed that we only have one microwave. The other guy, Will, said he thinks I am the cleanest person here. As I was prepping breakfast I found some broken eggs. The ones in the bowl made a face. I took a picture and showed Will. Will said bon appetite and left. My neighbor came in and threw some trash away. His door was ajar when I came back. I ate and took a pretty long nap. I heard a woman and child go into the bathroom. … I went to heat my food but the microwave was busy, so I waited in the salle since Lucas took the chair. I saw the man, woman, and child walk into room 203 with the surveillance equipment (at least where it used to be) and just stay there. … I was on time, but no bus came, so I took a different bus. I read about cycling on the way. Henry, Adrian, and another guy were there. Henry said I could do whatever I like. I helped the visitor out a little but was hesitant because of my inexperience. I started on the black bike again. Henry reminded me I had to thread the chain properly. I removed the pin completely and had so much trouble putting it back together. I asked Henry to help me. We figured out a way, and I ended up having to do it again since I threaded it wrong, but it was easier that time. I put new tape on the handlebars, which I had to redo also... Henry started showing me the inspection list, and we fine-tuned some things and replaced a wheel. I couldn’t get the pressure high enough, but Henry could after fixing the valve. A boy came, Anthony? He was the one who spoke to Jaxson last time. He had his phone in his hand in front of him and had a grin the whole time. He asked me what I repaired on the bike, how long I had been volunteering, if I wanted to learn how to repair bikes, and if I lived far. This meant I had to remember what I did with this bike over several weeks. He said he volunteered over the summer and learned how to fix bikes. Another guy came to fix various things. He couldn't find a leak on his inner tube. I recommended he check the valve and add pressure. At the end of the day, he said it was bothering him that one brake pad was rubbing against the rim. I asked a few questions. It wasn't the axel. He already tried tightening the cable. I saw some things that looked like adjustment screws. He tried it and it worked. He was very happy. Henry said he needed personal info. I asked why suspiciously about the phone number. He said it was optional. He also wanted to know how many days/hours I had volunteered. He said they open at 3:30 pm, but someone would be here at 3. I went home. ...
[I attempted to look up websites to help me practice French. There were a considerable amount of technical issues making that difficult. -3/17/20]
Oct 2nd, I woke around 6 am and heard someone when I opened my eyes. I stayed in bed till around 7:20 am… A Facebook friend asked me where I took the picture of the frog. (My room obviously, but I have been reticent recently to tell people where exactly I live.) [I believe I left the location data on when I took the picture. -4/1/21] I went to the thrift store and plowed through my work. A health inspector came. Evelyn came and said they show up unexpectedly and make everyone nervous. Evelyn and Abigail put their purses in a lower cabinet next to where I was working. She commented again on how good my memory was, and talked about hers for a while... She insisted she would buy me lunch, and pushed, and said that it meant I had to eat it. She had a grin. She told the lady in French she was buying me lunch. She apologized for speaking so quickly I couldn't follow. Backing up around 10:15 am I was caught up and went to work with Renee with the curtains. Renee was not there. I tried to find more work and helped with the dishes. When Linda stepped away, another woman helped me, telling me to put several things in miscellaneous. She complained to the other woman in French how many languages they have to accommodate… After Evelyn paid for my lunch, I thanked her and said she was a good teacher, then paid Linda, glanced over the store, ate lunch telling Abigail Evelyn had paid, Evelyn said it was a thank you. I ate lunch and thanked Evelyn for getting the washcloths and the ladles. She asked me what kind of soup I ate, I told her the vegetable. The other was a kind I haven't tried and I said I would maybe some other time. Evelyn had a giddy expression and kept pushing me to taste the soup. I went home and found I had enough time to take an earlier bus. I got on the bus and the driver smirked. My metro card beeped red. I said I had bought RTL for October. He said I would need to sort it out at the Metro, but I would need my receipt. I asked him to let me off of the bus, ran most of the way home, grabbed my receipt, and walked to the later bus stop. I saw Will on the way. An old man walked up to the bus stop heaving. I journaled, got on the bus, and first the light was green, then red. I showed him my receipt and he said I could sort it out on the metro… I went to class and the teacher said he got my email. Some people arrived late. He went through a paper about his routine, then through pages of a textbook. We listened to audio and discussed. He also asked us to answer to the group some questions, but only asked me to do this once. He had us write what we did yesterday, the day before, and the weekend, and corrected our work. Several people left early. Afterwards I went to get my OPUS card checked. A girl asked me if we were in the line for students. I waited. The first girl behind the counter consulted a man who said he was going to consult his manager to find out what was going on, and then directed me to another man, who asked if the card was registered to my name (it wasn't) and told me it was blacklisted. He said that means I can't use it anywhere. I asked if that could have been from something I had done. He said no. He made me a new card. I tried it on the bus, but I got a red light again. I took it out and tried again. It was still red. The bus driver insisted it was fine, and pointed to his computer screen. He didn't seem to know why the light was red... When I got back, Easton opened 214 as I walked by and I saw an empty room. I took some pics and went to the bus stop and tried my card by itself. It worked, and the bus driver let me off... At one point I needed a mental break so I went to my browser. As I did, the internet stopped working. I made some attempts on all 3 wifi networks and none of them would work. ...
Audio file: Blacklisted_20191002162356
Oct 3rd, I woke around 2:30 am, heart pounding hard and regularly, no associated anxiety. It tapered off, but not enough to let me sleep. I read my Bible around 4 am and slept for another 4 hours. This stimulated feeling was perhaps an extreme case of what I felt yesterday at 6 am. I was unusually excited, energetic, nervous, and distracted yesterday, though I was rushing. I made breakfast. Will was in the kitchen cleaning again. He said ça va. I said it in return. I asked him if you say the same back. He looked confused. He asked if I spoke English or French. He was more quiet and wished me good appetite. I got ready and took the bus after 10 am. The bus driver jokingly said I could not get on at first. I went to the library, which was closed, because it isn't open Thursday AM. I took the another since it was passing by. Google maps isn't showing me streets… One lady asked for directions to a hardware store, and I answered her in French. In the new library I printed my application for a new work permit. It was around 11 by this time and I tried calling the IRCC. They were busy… Around ten minutes before class I called and there was a 30 minute hold. I had to be in class, so I hung up. The teacher said he read my email and would go over it tomorrow before class. He asked why I came to Canada. I said many reasons, but one was I liked traveling and diversity. I talked about knowing ASL, what it was like in college, and the different sign languages... He asked me if I came alone and if my family was back in the US... There was one girl there a half an hour. The class arrived and we went through our exercises. He asked me to read a section. Later on he asked me a question I had left blank. I volunteered to read at one point, and seemed about as proficient as the other students… I asked some questions at the end of class. I tried calling the IRCC again after 4 pm, and they were busy… Oliver and another boy used our microwave ahead of me. I got an email from International Man, and I got to a point where he said you shouldn't save 100 million African lives if they'll just be a burden. I had already unsubscribed from them. [It's really hard for me to believe he actually said that, unless he already got recruited and is destroying his own side.]
I ate and read the news and reddit. My internet disconnected again for a while. It showed the networks available, but would not connect. The other phone was the same. It was also repeatedly giving me the message that my space was filling up, even after I cleared it. Both phones connected at the same time. I tried doing a search to find out why it wouldn't connect. There was a text box, and the text "please ignore this box." I took a screenshot. I deleted some things and backed up my account. I did duolingo, and got ready for bed.
Oct 4th, I woke around 2:30 am and heard someone shout in the hall. I woke at 6 am, and the person upstairs shuffled on the floor for a while. I got up after 8 am and called the IRCC. The wait time was 6 minutes. I verified my Work Permit and application. She recommended I send a return envelope with tracking. The call finished around 9 and lasted around 30+ minutes. I got ready and washed my dishes. Wyatt was in the kitchen, and stepped aside when we crossed paths. Will came in later and said "Ça va?" I said "Ça va bien." a little abruptly. He did not clean the stack of dishes, but said bon appetite and left. My bathroom door was wide open when I came back. I worked on paying for my application. When I went to my email to get the verification code and went back to the webpage, it went to the first step in registering, so I would just be issued a new code. I used my other phone as well to set up the account. I paid and no receipt was given. I tried calling the IRCC, and they were busy. I got ready and called again. The wait time meant I’d take the call on the bus. Google maps said the bus would be 2 minutes delayed. It was on time. I took a screenshot. I answered the call on the bus. The man told me all the web pages had the message they could not get me a copy of the official receipt. He said the registration number would be fine. [It said the receipt was required. 4/1/21]
Audio file: Receipt_20191004122313
I went to class a half an hour early and it was locked. Although he isn't usually available on Fridays, he told me yesterday he would be. He started to talk about it with it on the white board, but ran out of time. At one point, he burst out laughing for no apparent reason. During class he had a lot of writing assignments, He seemed to be nervously telling me at one point I didn't have to hand write the invitation. I showed him I already had and he corrected it. I wrote my "personal experience" and he corrected that as well. The zipper on his pants was showing. He played several games, one student guessed the correct answer on the first try. We did scattergories and I was very bad at that. I tried E on my own and got nothing. The next letter he picked was E. I spoke a little to my fellow students, where are you from, where does your family live... people came in and out and left early. The teacher ended class a few minutes early. I went to the bathroom which had blood like substance on the toilet. I took the bus. I printed off my screenshot of the unofficial receipt and made copies of my documents, and organized some files. There were yellow jackets in the ladies bathroom. The woman said someone was coming Monday to address that problem. I… stopped in a gold dealers store. He said he had gold and silver bullion, and took umbrage at the insinuation that it might not be pure...
Oct 5th, I went to bed around 10:45 pm and woke at 2:20 am from noises from upstairs. I couldn't get back to sleep… and tried to get back to sleep around 3:20 am. Each time as I started to drift off to sleep, the person upstairs would make noises on the floor and my heart rate would go up. This continued until I turned off my fan and on my audio recorder. Then the person was silent. I heard someone open a door, and a car pass by, after which my heart rate went up. Each time I started to sleep, a car would pass by and my heart rate would go up. This continued until I don't know when. I was dreaming that I was laying on the floor breathing hard and constantly, feeling my hands and feet go numb. I woke to feel my heart beating very hard, and me still breathing very loudly, heaving at 6 am. I heard someone in the hall, and slowly, eventually, my heart slowed enough for me to sleep till 8:30 am. I read the Bible... Carl came in and when I opened the hot dogs with my knife he acted startled by the knife, whistled and walked away, then came back in and hung by while his water heated. [This is the standard way agents and informants are trained to act—indifferent in the face of their own interests. -3/17/20] Ezra came and cooked. A new Muslim lady asked me how to use the toaster oven. Lucas came in and tried to tell her to call Claire. She spoke to him very sternly in French and asked if it was clear. He said no, and she stormed out. Lucas told Ellie that she was like a dictator to him. That was the sense of what he said. Ellie cooked for a while. She said she forgot to buy cabbage and I told her about the sale. She told me about a relative who was a good cook. She offered me lettuce and celery and I declined. She offered me parsley, and I took a taste. She said no one eats it like that, and that it was good for circulation, and there is a cheap store that sometimes sells it. She took the beats I gave up and cooked them. Also, Carl came in coughing while I was enjoying a wrap. I saw Easton in the doorway. It was a little awkward since he had opened his door in his underwear a week or so ago. I... went to my laundry... I had to take out a man's clothing to put mine in the dryer. While I sat, a pair of underwear flew off the pile onto the floor. A man opened the door, and immediately began pressing me with the usual list of questions that have at one point or another made me uncomfortable. [His expression was devious. -3/17/20] He asked where I was from, why I came, if I came to study, if I had come alone, how old I was, if I worked at all, directly told me I could make a little cash under the table cleaning for him, and that lots of people do it. I told him explicitly that I was going to keep the law. He asked how long I had been here, and if I spoke French. (The last time I saw him I was practicing it.) ... He said he… could do house renovations. He also said I looked like I was Russian, and said he mentioned that because he knows Russians who do a little work on the side/under the table. I told him I do volunteer work. He asked if I do laundry on Saturdays, and hoped to see me around. He headed out, but came back a few minutes later to ask for my phone number. I said I would rather not. He said he was single. I said I wasn't dating. And he left... The guy in … knocked on my door to tell me while holding his phone out in broken English that there were various taps during several nights, and it wasn't because of him. He says he has his own bathroom, and that it is the woman down the hall making noise (in the bathroom?) during the night… he said he was talking about ongoing noise...
Oct 6th, I woke around 5:30 am and read some Bible and got back to sleep. I woke around 8:30. I washed my hair, got ready, ate, and took the bus to get to church almost on time. At the beginning of service the pastor was attempting to recognize and thank those who helped on Sunday. No one stood up. He had to persist and call people out by name to get them to stand. A man next to me shouted "Don’t be bashful!" There were not nearly as many people in church. There were old ladies talking about the dangers of biking before church started. The pastor started with a story of an ugly man with a bad expression who lived with a woman, so he wore a mask, married her, and had a good relationship. But an envious rival told him in public to take off the mask. When he did, his face looked much like the mask. It had changed over time. This is like how we put on Christ and become like him over time. He talked about dying to the old man, obeying, and giving yourself positive self talk about your identity in Christ. A 94? year old woman was baptized. ... My father posted a fantastic compilation of verses giving the gospel and I shared these. I looked at the Soul of Simplicity and found some pictures I might want to draw. I drew one of a girl looking out of a plane window, and watched my edited version of Moulin Rouge. I got ready for bed.
Oct 7th, I woke around 3:30 am with my heart pounding. I immediately read a chapter of the Bible and went back to sleep. Around 5:30 am I woke. I could hear someone in the building. I read part of a chapter before sleeping. During this time I left my Bible and flashlight on my bed next to my pillow. When I opened it at around 5:30, the book mark had been placed several pages back to a place where I had underlined some things. I woke again around 6:30 am, and checked. Both windows and door were properly secured. No sign of sexual assault. Although yesterday the person upstairs had been very active during the first scenes of Moulin Rouge. I got ready and made lemon ginger tea. I read more Bible, and remembered I wanted to go to conversation practice. My calendar was altered. It removed my morning practice and added another thrift alongside the other or duplicated it. I took the bus which was a little late. The door was locked and the woman said the teacher would arrive soon. I waited and students started to arrive. We got a substitute teacher at 9:30. Deborah came and gave announcements for a long time. Then we broke into groups. The teacher asked us to talk about where we lived and studied. I talked for a while about Lady, homeschooling, moving and working, and liking different cultures. The girl across from me said she lived in the town that is the same as mine, had 2 kayaks, and she knew a company looking for volunteers. She held her cell phone so the camera pointed towards me for a long time. I looked at it, then stared at her. She started to shield her face and put her camera down. (She wasn't looking at me when I was looking at her.) But she held the camera back up when the older woman repeatedly touched my shoulder asking if pardon and excuse moi would be used in different cases. [I had acted like I didn’t like the idea of being sexually assaulted in my sleep that morning, and here it seemed that I was being tested to see if a little old lady touching my shoulder would bother me.] ... After class I got the key and went to the bathroom. I couldn't seem to open the door. Another woman helped me. It felt locked, but had to be pushed. The bathroom has many stalls but one key. I used it and started to journal. The teacher came looking for the key and I gave it to her and went back... The teacher seemed curious of me. I.. came back and was about to wait on the floor when the teacher opened the door. I read while waiting. He was busy before class. There was review, then he wanted us to detail for the class what we did over the weekend. I made something up and told the class it was pretend. That was the oral presentation. When the whole class does this, it takes longer, and I find I have trouble understanding. When Mariah gave her oral presentation, she looked at me the whole time. He read an informal postcard, talked about kinds of kisses/greetings, places, travel destinations, and how to ask questions about products. I took the bus back and sat next to a man who smiled at me, and read Cycling. The man is my neighbor (other building). Nolan said what Oliver last said, which is that he hadn't seen me in a while and thought I moved. He tells me to get a camera for my room, because Easton came in his room when it was night, unlocking it and using a flashlight. He grabbed Easton’s neck and asked him what he was doing here. Easton said he was trying to open the emergency exit door next to it. Nolan said he got video from the surveillance, but it was being fast forwarded, and Easton was pulling out wires trying to stop him, and Claire won’t do anything. I said I had been sexually assaulted, hand to backside, here. He asked if it was in the kitchen. He asked if it was a guy downstairs. I said he doesn't live here anymore. He persistently asked me about what the police did. I left it there and said I didn't want to go into the details. He wondered why he should tell me when I wasn't telling him. I said it was up to him. He asked me why I didn't want to say. I said it was my personal business. He said "Oh-my-G--" I waived him away and walked inside. I ran into Easton and asked him, "The people who work here do not enter rooms without permission or notice right? Someone said they might." He said no entry. I said that's what I thought… I did not dress warmly enough for the day. I… carefully looked over the instructions again… walked back to the post office and worked through the process. I got registered mail going and express mail returning. I took photos of the documents I sent. Over all this cost $60. I asked the girl if she had done her best and she said she had...