How one line of gossip killed my childhood...

like many children of divorce, i was shuffled around between mom and dad. mostly mom, but dad at times. i liked it there. dad was cool, charismatic, chill, sporty, someone to look up to.

one day, mom told me i had to choose. either him or her. i didn't know why. i mean, i knew she hated him with all her heart. but this was drastic.

it's now been almost exactly 30 years that i have not seen or talked to my father. he never fought for me. he never called. he never tried. i was a teenager. the choice was simple and yet the hardest one i ever had to make. mom. of course.

years later i found out that some lady who was friends with my step mother had gossiped at the hair dresser about her friend's step child, aka me. apparently my step mom had proclaimed that the only reason i spent time with them was because my mother wanted to get rid of me. she had a new boyfriend and apparently i was in the way. unbeknownst to this woman, my mother was getting her hair done in the very seat next to her, at the very same time. and, of course, mom heard it all.

after that, i never saw my father again.

who knows whether the story is true. whether my stepmom said it, or whether it was true altogether. it doesn't really matter. what matters is that one line of gossip had a profound effect on a child's life. it's bad enough to be shuffled around. but is significantly worse not to be shuffled around.

be impeccable with your word.

30 years ago my father was the same age i am today. maybe i'll find him before he dies and get his side of the story.