Preparing for divorce

in divorce •  9 years ago 

How to be resilient before, after and during a divorce. Practical advice on how to prepare for a divorce. fighting-couple-about-to-divorce Image Copyright Steps you can take before a divorce

  1. Save Money. If there is hope of reigniting the flame, go the extra mile. After a certain point, you cannot, so might as well do your best early. Maybe it is not past point X yet.
  2. Get your finances in order do not be dependent.
  3. Do not be socially dependent, have friends of your own. Keep them and do not share them!
  4. Do not be 100% emotionally dependent, friends of the same sex and friends of different sex are important.
  5. Keep financial records these can help you with your claims for a stipend.
  6. Keep track of your finances; the family finances and your partners.
  7. Consult a lawyer early.
  8. Stay attractive - I am not advocating plastic surgery but a proper height to weight ratio (BMI) - Workout

The above can help build resilience and strength before a divorce. If you start building your resiliency and strength for a divorce, it does not mean you do not love your partner, wife or girlfriend. It means you look out for number one (yourself) and your dependents. If you have kids, and you are not the breadwinner of the family then this kind of resilience, preparedness should be at the top of your list. Taking care of yourself during a divorce:

  1. Recognise this is a tough time, you need time and energy to deal with this. That means you have to step up to it and reduce the time/money and energy you dedicate to other things.
  2. Stand your ground!
  3. Consider every move a test. That means if you accept something it will only get worse.
  4. Give yourself time to grieve.
  5. Accept things will never be the same.
  6. Develop a resilient attitude.

Example: A friend of mine "separated" recently. I was shocked to hear that her now living with a friend husband. came to their house, had a BBQ in the garden and left saying '' I will clean up tomorrow ''. He was testing his wife to see if she would clean up after his mess, even though he was not part of the family unit! Unfortunately, she gave in… After a divorce:

  1. Being nice is futile, extract what you can financially, energetically and in terms of time.
  2. Look out for yourself
  3. Learn to love yourself again.
  4. Focus on healing
  5. You do not need to rush into anybody else's arms.

Proviso: If you a resilient man or woman with not many options then finding love and shelter at the same time is the peak of resiliency! Example: Use services such as facebook.com, meetup.com, online dating, your local community, your communal garden, local clubs in whatever suits you (the arts), volunteer. You need to feel part of a unit again. Action Points:

When was the last time you had a chat with a friend? Email or call. (Calling is better of course) Are you part of a club? Join one!

You need to network and be part of your community; it will make you emotionally stronger. Comment on more tips on how you can face a divorce with strength

! Side note: Preppers and Survivalists should take note : Statistically in your lifetime will you see any of theses events : Peak Oil, Peak Resources, Astronomically gold prices or your divorce. Think carefully and focus your preps accordingly!

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