Let's Talk About The Haters | Coffee With Jane

in dlive •  7 years ago  (edited)

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HATERS!

A few days ago I woke up to a hate comment on one of my videos. It was my first comment of that sort that I have received since I have started posting videos on the steem blockchain through Dtube, along with many others. Today, I wanted to talk about haters, hate comments and how to deal with them if they ever come your way. Nothing good is done without a few haters, remember that! Let's chat about it!

My live stream is at DLive

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Yo, wassup, Paola... :)

Ahhh I saw this right when I was saying goodbye, but thank you for tuning in!

You mention people not giving 'real feedback', but trust me once you actually trace the people giving 'real feedback' you'll wish you never got it in the first place. Here's a real comment on one of my YT videos, it translates to 'You are both ugly af and the shit some people do for money these days is just sad'Screen Shot 2018-03-15 at 18.30.18.png

That comment should not be construed as feedback at all. Feedback is something you can use to improve. Feedback is something that is given to another person so they can improve, even if it might not seem that. But that comment isn’t constructive criticism, it’s pure hate.

Well the good thing about it is that they have no reason to lie on YT so they are always brutally honest, and it does force you to change rather quickly because of other peoples opinions of your content, but I think sometimes you can get carried away and turn into something that the public wants but that just doesn't really reflect you as a person. It's really hard to not let those hate comments get to you, but for me it helps to trace them down and most of the time they are just bored kids tbh and that makes things better :P Anyways, I hope comments like that never make it to Steemit

Haha I mean like in this instance what are you going to do?? Change your face?? Lol comments like those are truly unnecessary because the way you look has nothing to do with what you’re creating and how good or bad it might be 😂
I don’t know if you saw the part but that guy called me an ugly cunt and said I look like a half bred hooker 😂😂😂
Those kinds of comments are here too, just not as frequent!
Btw I’m going to start posting on YouTube - I hope I don’t get roasted too harshly lol

I agree that comments like the ones made toward you are not feedback - they're just hateful. Comments like those are disgusting and unnecessary. They serve no purpose except to spew negativity in an attempt to hurt you. People who leave comments like that are either trying to start something (because they thrive on conflict and chaos) or they're so unhappy within themselves that they are taking it out on the world. In truth, it's kind of pathetic and sad so you are wise not to listen or take it personally. ❤ Followed & uPvoted!

Thank you so much!

Thats noise that you dont need to pay attention ... idiots..

Wow calling you that was really not cool, I believe that people who are trying to bring other people down are hurting themselves so let's just assume this person is one of those people...

Sorry you had to deal with this idiot! I really do think that hurt people, hurt people. When you start hitting a certain level of success, some people feel jealous and lash out. It is an insecurity on their part and they don’t take into account all of the hardwork you put in every single day.

I’ve recently been getting a few more hateful comments too. Like you, I do think there is room for more constructive feedback on the platform - but it needs to be respectful. It’s funny how some people think it’s okay to “compliment sandwich” insults by trying to say something semi-nice before slamming their hateful comment. Adding a compliment to the insult doesn’t cancel out the crap.

Good for you to stand up for yourself and handle the situation with such grace!

Thank you so much for this comment! I couldn't agree more with you and its so good to have people like you on this platform. I'm sorry you've been getting hateful comments but trust me your content is great and just keep growing!! If someone where to give me reasonable feedback like hey work on your audio or your lighting I would 100% respect that...but my face is something I cant change haha

Glad to see ya live streaming again on DLive!

What kinda coffee you drinking? Sponsored?

COOL

not gonna lie, I went back to try to find the hate comment cause I was going to make a smart ass remark back to the person on your behalf. But like you said, ignore the haters. Keep doing what you are doing Paola. You and @spenceryan are a Steemit power couple! keep doing yo thang gril!

Thank you for caring! :)

The way we are wired, as human beings, we are more sensitive to the negative than the positive. So even when the ratio of positive to negative is like 1 Billion to 1, we will notice that 1 straight away and let it get to us. It's something to do with our evolution I guess - spotting haters and enemies so we can secure ourselves. I read that somewhere, I don't know how true it is.

In terms of Steemit/Dtube/DLive/Dwhatever, you're a shinning light and an example for us to follow! Keep doing what you're doing.

✌🏿

thank you!! That sounds pretty accurate :) I noticed that comment so fast haha

Awww girl, you are so cute! You are so brave for doing a live video, and I'm sure you're gonna be a pro at this when you get more relaxed. You're definitely a real person, and like you said, we need more of those in here :)

Congrats on the first hate comment, I'm sure it won't be the last one, because you're doing so good in here :)

Haha thank you! Going live is definitely...not easy lol
Thank you for watching :)
And I’m sure we will be getting our fare share of hate comments. But it’s people like you that make me say whatever, sorry not sorry ✌🏽

Things like this are inevitable, does that now open a door for accounts that you can delegate to that will respond to trolls for you? 🤔

I believe they already exist if I’m not mistaken?!

People who hate on others typically remind me of getting a cold, or catching any other sickness for that matter. Without things like this happening our immune system could end up considerable weak. We need haters like we need the occasional sickness. Both create growth and make us stronger while offering us news ways to combat such nonsense . Thank you for the video.....

I completely agree with you and I couldn’t have said that better myself. If you don’t mind I’ll use this in the future to explain it a bit better :)

I do not mind at all. Have a great day.

@paolajane
At least you have other steemians commenting on your posts,
Thats a positive thing! Some of us just get weird spam and "good post" comments... Well I also actually also got a threat by this guy...

armagod-threath.png

So true!!
Yeah that’s a bit weird lol?? I’m so confused lol

Ha ha yeah, that guy had a really bad day I think, and my post was doing good (for once), I guess that is when haters come crawling... Glad I have not put my face or name anywhere on this site... I might get less viewers, but also less unwanted attention... I guess my opinions can be provocative...

Delayed Stream, Chiill out bruh.

I told you guys a month ago she is gonna be a millionaire one day. Just look at all the posts and how much of a big following she has!! Ahh soo jelous over here :P

Haha you're far too kind! :) thank you

Haha I guess so I will be back in a month or so to see you progress. I am sure you won't let me down. :D

Great video... there are haters, but they mostly bother people that have large followings or earn too much. Good job not letting them get to you or bully you. Down vote and flag away... otherwise they'll make money off of their comments.

It is a little easier to handle when there's no truth to what they're saying. I can see how the comment may have bothered someone that was actually ugly or fat... you would think a troll would put forth more effort :p.

Haha I 100% agree with you!!

When do you go live? Maybe I can tune in, I like that you are talking about things other than cryptos...makes it more personal :-)

Hey there :) thanks for tuning in! I havent developed a schedule yet haha still testing the waters. Im thinking maybe 3x a week at around 11am. The thing with making a schedule for me is that I beat myself up if I miss it haha

you're right !!

Negative comments mean that you struck a nerve, how that affects you is entirely under your control.

I tend to find it all rather amusing, and that often brings out even more hostility.

Just smile and say "I love you too".

Blow a kiss, for added effect.

OMGsh! Are you on Discord? PM a message next time you are live, I would love to be in your room and support you! You did great. :) I'll be there messaging hehe.

Great talk about "real people giving real feedback."

Also, Hater just mean you are getting big. half bread hooker? oh mai gosh...

Haters are wack! You stay crushing the game

Oh no, I'm so sorry that you had to experience such nastiness! The number one advice I always give to content creators just starting out is to IGNORE the haters. That is always the best solution, even especially so on Steemit because you want to avoid a flag war. Even if that guy had no Steem Power ;) You never know, he may have had some shitty powerful friends.

Responding to one is like feeding a seagull, they're going to call all their troll buddies and soon you'll be out of fries and covered in bird poo. I hope you get my reference but if not, the idea is just that you're fanning the flames. They will begin to spawn out of control and soon your whole channel will just be a cesspool of negativity, turning away new followers.

I'm glad you learned from this experience and is sharing it with others so they can learn from your experience too! Ignore the haters they have no lives and their main goal is to just get a shitty reaction out of you which will only put you in a bad light.

Keep doing what you're doing girl you're rockin it!

XOXO
Iris

You are Not nervous, you are excited !!! love it! You are great on camera , very natural & pleasant to watch!!! Its my second day here on Steem , I have been making YouTube videos for 3 years now, so, haters are just part of it !
Keep shining your light !!!

P.S. You are so beautiful naturally without any make up!!!

As far as haters go, I mainly listen to criticism that cost something to the person doing the criticising.

Jon Acuff has a good article on that.
https://acuff.me/2015/08/one-simple-way-to-figure-out-which-criticism-to-listen-to/