"Your life is turning in a more positive direction if you are willing to grow.”
A tarot card I drew last night, but how to I grow? Which way is up? All I see is a never ending darkness around me. It’s just as I have been saying for years now: there is a curse upon me. A never ending cycle with me thinking one minute everything is better and then it crashes once again.
My dreams are getting weird again. The first significant one was really odd. I was with a tribe of people who I supposed we were all quite close. We were searching for something in this strange, cavernous place. When we ventured inside of a cave there were these creatures, some being demonic wolves of some sort. We fought them off. What we were looking for, I found out, was the leader of darkness. The demon of them all. Suddenly, I became aware of a voice saying that it, the demon, wasn’t looking to destroy the whole tribe. It was me that it wanted. I can’t remember if I was afraid of what was to come.
The scene changed and the entire tribe was out in a field discussing what to do. There was one woman who I grew fond over, but her name is not remembered. The chieftain called the tribe to meeting, and in a powerful voice, told everyone that I had a choice to make. Either I killed myself or they would vote on who would kill me. This was needed in the eyes of the chieftain since the demon was only after me. I grew afraid and enraged all at the same time. I grabbed a knife from my pocket and ran up to him. One of my friends in the tribe looked at me as if I had lost my mind. As if there was nothing wrong with what he had just said.
“He wants to kill me!” I yelled.
A few minutes later I was in the arms of the woman I had grown fond of. I felt as if I had known her my entire life. Her embrace was warm and protective as I clutched her tight, afraid of dying.
When I woke from my dream, the feelings I remembered the most were of her holding me. She loved me truly in the dream and my feelings were the same.
Next night’s dream was a bit different. I was in a horror movie it seemed. The time was growing dark and I was driving in a car through a very rural area. I passed a small local store and found myself wandering into a deserted field. Still in my car, I felt something was off. I looked out my window and the dark sky had turned blood red and fear rippled through my body. I felt a dark presence around me and my vision grew black.
I woke up on a bed in a room unknown. There was a demon there beside me. Looking back, I’m not sure what the demon did to me. It began to speak in its dark voice and I realized I would not be going back to my prior life. I had a choice of living in the cruel pits of hell or choosing another path that would be filled with pure lust. The demon took my hand…I chose the latter.
My last dream from last night seems a bit too awkward to write. There were no demons, yet it was filled with a vast amount of lustfulness that looking back on, makes me shake my head.
Something is happening to me. I can feel it and my dreams are trying to tell me what that something is. I’ve had bad thoughts of ways to end this all, but I can’t go through with it and give up that easily.
I will leave you with that my friends. Feel free to share your thoughts.
Shadow & Starlight
Amethyst Midnight
Hi, I don't think ever posted on your blog before, but I feel like I need to write this to you.
You are good, valuable, and precious. Both the light and the dark want you. The goal of the darkness is to create confusion, despair, anger, depression, etc. These dark dreams may not have been meant to make any sense. The darkness is comfortable with contradiction. In the spiritual world, using tarot cards is like pointing a bright neon sign at yourself reading "come get me demons". Tarot cards are a portal to darkness. I would recommend burning them as soon as possible and praying for protection. Here is a prayer I use.
Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the Power of God, cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits, who prowl through the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
This will probably offend you, so I apologize in advance. Take care.
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While I really appreciate your kind words, I wish to elaborate that I am an eclectic pagan who has used tarot cards for a very long time. Tarot cards act as a way for the subconscious mind as well as other divine entities to channel through and help you see things. I personally use tarot very little now because I can understand signs from the Universe more clearly. The only Evil in this world is intent. Satan himself is not Evil (but that is a whole other can of worms I wish to not open). In fact, to shy away from the Dark and take the Light is the path of disillusionment. You need both for balance. God (as I call the Source) is neither Good nor Evil just as they are both. Protection is never needed when you realize that we ourselves are just as Divine and Powerful as the Source. We are rising to walk with the gods. Blessed be. Thank you for your time and words.
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Thanks for your response, as for me, I have had a few encounters with a demonic presence, and I need all the protection I can get :-)
Take care Amethystmidnight, I will stick with disillusionment.
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The Darkness helps us see the Light. Not the Light of another, but our own soul-fire. The Darkness teaches us to be our own Light.
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Good morning friend nice post have a nice day happy life everyday
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Thank you! Thanks for stopping by!
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