When your restaurant is struggling to attract customers, how do you turn it around? What about selling alcoholic drinks for $1? In October, the troubled Applebee’s restaurant chain decided to offer $1 margaritas called “Dollaritas”. This promotion apparently worked well, aside from some criticism that the drinks didn’t seem to contain much booze. And after recently suffering a greater than 6% decline in same store sales and having to close 100 of its locations, the restaurant chain decided to double down.

Now, for the month of December, you can get a $1 Long Island Iced Tea from Applebee’s. The chain apparently took the low alcohol criticism to heart because it chose a cocktail for this drink deal that includes five different kinds: vodka, rum, tequila, gin, and triple sec (orange liqueur). The drink contains no tea, but just enough cola to give it the same light brown hue.

As many college students can attest, there’s only one reason to order a Long Island Iced Tea: to get drunk. This stealthy drink has a higher alcohol content than most people expect. You think you’re getting some spiked orange-flavored cola, but this is a drink with very little mixer; it contains about 22% alcohol. And its combination of different spirits hits some people especially hard. If you make it home in one piece, expect a hangover the next morning.

So I have some issues with this drink deal of $1 Long Island Iced Tea from Applebee’s (presented in no particular order).

First, Applebee’s is setting its sights low. The promotion is called L.I.T. In drinking parlance, lit means drunk, so the restaurant chain knows exactly who it is aiming for here. Its demographic is those who don’t care that “L.I.I.T.” (with two I’s) would be the right abbreviation for Long Island Iced Tea. Before finishing a glass of this stuff, you’ll be so L.I.T. lit you won’t care how they spell it.

Second, if you’re going to get people drunk, why not offer them something enjoyable to drink? There are cheap wines and there are better tasting cocktails that can use distilled alcohol. Or just give them the rotgut stuff straight up.

Third, if you want people to order food and spend more money at your restaurant, doesn’t it make more sense to get them drunk slowly (not all at once)? Maybe dollar beers don’t have the same ring to them. LIITs are bombs. For reference, a Long Island Iced Tea has the same amount of alcohol as 4-5 beers or glasses of wine. “Would you like wine with dinner, sir?” “Sure, but let me slam the whole bottle before I order a main course.”

When I was in college, there was a time when I could get through more than one Long Island Iced Tea, but no more. If you have a substantial portion of the customers who are calling for a ride after spending $1-2 on drinks, doesn’t it seem like a stupid idea to send them home before they can order much food?

Source: twitter.com

Alternatively, if they’re fully lit before it’s time to go home, do you really want them hanging around your bar/restaurant? Applebee’s still promotes itself as a family restaurant chain. If customers are starting fights and vomiting even before they get the munchies, you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel there.

The only successful shopping areas these days are the ones with trendy restaurants that serve good food. Diners are taking pictures of what they eat, writing reviews, and posting it all on Steemit. Good food brings people out. Retail is dying and so are lousy restaurants. Even many fast food places are getting the message that people want to eat decent quality food when they go out.

This restaurant is fading fast because it hasn’t gotten the message. In offering the $1 Long Island Iced Tea drink deal in December, Applebee’s is making a desperate move. This is like trying to attract guys to your website with a clickbait ad like “Hottest Chick Ever”. And then showing them only one photo or video before you’re able to push your range of products.

For the January promotion, how about putting some decent food on the menu? Maybe that would bring back your customers.

Sources:

People Magazine: http://people.com/food/applebees-dollar-long-island-iced-teas/

Washington Post: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/food/wp/2017/11/30/of-course-2017-would-end-with-a-1-long-island-ice-tea-promotion-from-applebees/?utm_term=.4693f40f8fb3

Alcohol content of drinks (Loyola Marymount University): http://academics.lmu.edu/headsup/forstudents/standarddrinks/

Image sources: General Internet memes and random non-copyrighted material, except where noted. Top image courtesy of Applebee's Restaurants LLC.