It was a stale, hot night in Auburn, AL. A group of my friends and I played board games at StarBucks for the last time before my departure back to NC. My mother had just passed away, I was in another mindset back then. My ten year travel was coming to an end and I was exhausted to say the least. I stopped to see some friends before making my move to the West Coast.
“Tell her to have an abortion” One friend said. Another chimed in, “It’s selfish for any mother to bring a child into this world as a drug addict, she’s never going to get off the drugs.” “You are stupid for supporting her.” Another said.
“I know how it sounds. It’s a recipe for disaster to bring a child into this situation. But you don’t know her like I do. I said. In fact, you don’t know her at all. You have never met her.” I said to the group as they continued to scold me.
The night went on and I knew I was going to lose some friends that night. And that I did. In fact only one of the people at that table is still my friend. And that is because he took the time to think about it and made the effort to call & apologize.
Casey and I have been friends since the first grade. Since my mother passed a few months before this conversation, she was really all I have left when it comes to family.
At age six she was reading out of college textbooks, Valedictorian in her high school without ever studying, and most of our peers expected her to do something amazing with her life. But that wasn’t how it ended up. She married a man with daddy issues and fell down this rabbit hole of lies and drugs.
We went from planning a business together every night to literally no communication at all. I knew something was wrong but Casey wasn’t one to ask for help. A year went by that I didn’t hear from her.
Her mother contacted me in the middle of a long run, it was almost as if time stopped. She was frantic to the point I could hardly hear her. She finally received a text message from Casey. It wasn’t much but she was alive. I postponed the rest of my travels back to the West Coast and hung around Alabama waiting for her to finally ask for help. There were two things I knew at this point. One, she was really disparate and in a bad place and two, if she was going to ask for help it was me that she was going to ask.
When she started texting me, I could sense the desperation in the tone in her messages. I’ll never forget the message asking if I was still in NC and having to reply back that I had already left. My heart ached but I knew I had to be strong so she didn’t feel worse about her situation. And even more so I had to be patient. If I pushed too hard or showed too much emotion she would possibly return into hiding out of shame and disappointment.
And then it happened, she finally called. Her voice was so shallow, so fragile. I knew the story already because she had been texting her mom. In many ways she was more afraid of me being disappointed in her than her mother.
She barely said a word and all I could manage to get out were the words “I am not disappointed in you.” It was a heartbreaking moment but one that was all too important to have.
Within a few days I was on a plane back to NC to get her. We moved to Raleigh for a short time and got her into a program.
Miracles happen everyday! My nephew was born six months later. A healthy, smart, little man. And Casey has now been sober since January of 2018.
Be thankful for every breath you take. Be even more thankful for every breath your friends and families take. And be even stronger for those who need it.