@Ecotrain's question of the week posed by @mountainjewel is "“Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?”

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When we open our hearts and love others we are already setting ourselves up for loss. It's a natural process but one that affects us to varying degrees. Something that is dependant on who we've loved, the type of relationship and the amount of time and energy connection we have had. One thing for certain is that with each of these experiences come important lessons that help us to grow.

I think we've all been in a place where we have loved and lost. When the loss first occurs, the feelings are so raw. We are hurt and we need time to process them. The hurt also comes in varying degrees of strength. We love in many different forms. Love isn't just reserved for our sexual partners and those particular relationships. We love our parents, our siblings, our children, pets that come in and out of life, our extended family and friends.
As most of you who read my posts know, I'm currently in the process of moving country. Our family has been living here for 3 years and over that time I have made some amazing friends. Some of whom I know will keep in touch and others I'm less likely to see or talk to again.
Now I'm no stranger to this moving lark. I spent my teens moving around South East Asia but saying goodbye to those who we have shared fond memories with is hard on my heart.
One particular lady who I've only recently had the privilege to get to know stopped by my house yesterday. She home educated all her children and we met through the environmental exhibition. She knocked at the door and simply stopped to give me a big hug and say goodbye. Her words to me were very touching and I shed a tear.

" It's such a shame you are leaving." She said. "You are a really valuable member of this community and Sark needs more people like you. I'm going to miss you greatly."

Summer Solstice Beach Party 2017
I've had an amazing time living here and am beginning to feel a little overwhelmed by the sense of loss and change. I'll miss the beach parties where we sang songs with our friends until the sun came up. The get togethers and crazy parties at random people's houses after the pub closed. There's so many reasons to feel loss right now and I am slowly processing it and am feeling grateful for this journey. I also have much to look forward to with new beginning come new adventures.

I've also been thinking about the nature here and how much I will miss that too. I can walk to any beach on the island whenever I chose, the land is lush and green and the trees are stunning. There are babbling brooks and gorgeous little valleys full of a diversity of plant and animal life. I've enjoyed taking my boys on fantastic adventures, losing ourselves in this tiny wilderness. The land is vastly different where I am going so this little beauty of an Island will be a memory I will cherish forever. Although I will be losing it in physical form I am eternally grateful for the connectedness that it gave me.
So that's where I am at the present. I'm in the process of love and loss. I feel sad to leave but am so excited for what the future holds.

Over the years I have experienced love and loss in varying forms. I've had my fair share of difficult relationships with partners. However I want to share with you two very important examples of true love and how it felt losing it.

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There's no harder feeling in the world than losing a child. When I split from my girls' father, he took my eldest with him and turned her against me. Now there's a whole heap of politics that went with this but I'm not going to get into that here. Instead I wish to describe the pain I felt.
As I lay on the bed curled into a ball, sobbing my heart out, I felt as if my world had ended. I could feel everything crumbling around me. I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up to face this reality. The only thing that kept me going was my younger daughter. She needed me and I had to be in a good headspace for her. It was so hard just trying to pull myself out of it. The pain I felt in my heart was horrendous. I think I now understand what is meant by a broken heart.
Yet, with time I healed and my relationship with my daughter has been repaired. It wasn't easy and there were many tears shed but we came through it. My only thought is that I really and truly feel for those parents who have lost a child to death. I was fortunate enough to come back from this. But I hold some space in my heart for all those parents out there who will never get to see, hold or speak to their child again...

We outlive pets, it's a sad fact of life and when they go it hurts. None have ever hurt as much a when we lost 'Puppy'. He was a little Valenciano similar to a Chihahau. He was the cutest little boy, so cuddly and loving. He had a cheeky nature and would follow us wherever we went. He was such a character and mostly everyone on the island loved him too.
Last year at only 3 years old, he was tragically run over by a tractor. He didn't really stand a chance and by the time we arrived at the vets, he was already gone. I was so heartbroken. No. I was devastated. It still hurts to this day. I loved that little dog so much. He wasn't just a pet he was our baby.
Again though I am grateful for the time we had and his death wasn't in vain. The guy who ran him over had an unfortunate track record of driving carelessly. When he asked me if I forgave him for the incident I asked;

"Has this made you change the way you drive around? How would you have felt if it was one of my children?"
He said that it had and when we have seen him driving since, he goes slow and with caution.

Of course I forgive the guy. It was an unfortunate accident and Puppy's death wasn't in vain as it served as a valuable lesson and may have saved someone else's life.

Yes I do think it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Although, I can not judge on the latter as I have always experienced love in some shape or form. This is part of human nature and this is who we are. It's up to us to choose how we cope and move on from loss.

~ONE LOVE~

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