During my lunch break, I suddenly received a call from my younger sister. She said that our mother, who had just arrived at our elder sister’s home, suddenly couldn’t walk anymore.
My sister said, “I want to go over there right now to check on her.”
I replied, “Mom has experienced this kind of situation before. Let’s not panic. I’ll call our elder sister and ask for more details.”
Just as I was saying this, our elder sister called.
She said, “Mom can’t walk right now. She’s lying on the floor. I called the village doctor, but he’s afraid to prescribe anything. He says we should take her to the hospital for a check-up first.”
I asked, “Can Mom still talk?”
She responded, “Yes, she can. You can talk to her.”
Then I heard my mother say, “I think this episode is serious. Tell your brother to come here too.”
I could sense that my mother was fully conscious.
I suspected that her sudden fainting was likely due to her old age and poor circulation, but I didn’t think it was anything too serious. So, I didn’t want to disturb our elder brother.
Afterward, I decided to go with my younger sister to our elder sister’s home to check on our mother and decide whether she needed to go to the hospital.
When we arrived, our 90-year-old mother had already been helped to the bed. Seeing her lying there made my heart ache.
I asked her, “How are you feeling now?”
She said, “I feel much better than before, but this time was worse than before.”
I told her, “Try to stretch your legs.”
She smoothly stretched out her legs.
I held her hand, and it still felt strong, just as it always had. I immediately concluded that her health wasn’t in any serious danger.
Mother then said, “Your brother really cares about me. A few days ago, his son heard me crying inside the house, and they jumped through the window to get to me.”
When she said this, I could sense a hint of pride in her tone.
She continued, “This morning, I cried again and didn’t eat. Your brother insisted I eat something.”
At that moment, I suddenly realized that my mother had been using her crying and refusal to eat to seek attention and sympathy from my brother.
In her heart, she must have felt deeply unloved or desperately wanted her son’s affection.
But what she might never have realized was that her late-night sobbing and refusal to eat caused great fear and anxiety for her children.
Especially for my brother, who had a heart condition. Such shocks could be very detrimental to his health.
In real life, whether it’s elderly people or children, seeking attention and sympathy through crying only brings temporary pity. In the long run, it pushes loved ones further away.
It might be understandable for a child to behave this way.
But if an adult continues to do so, it shows a significant regression in emotional maturity.
However, the person crying may still think they are being clever.
In reality, people are naturally drawn to those who are happy and cheerful. They instinctively distance themselves from those who cry and sigh all the time.
Mother continued, “Look at how thick your sister laid out the blankets for me.”
As she spoke, she lifted the blankets to show me.
At this moment, I could tell that my mother was feeling very happy and content.
She then said, “I’m feeling much better now. Don’t tell your brother. He’s already had two stents put in. Your niece has been telling me not to get upset. You all should visit your brother when you have the chance.”
Once again, I realized that no matter what, my brother was always the one my mother cared about the most. He was the person closest to her heart.
Mother was always searching for proof that my brother loved and cared for her deeply.
Her life revolved around her son, and she had never truly lived for herself.
In life, most problems in a family stem from boundary issues. It’s often about one person expecting another to take full responsibility for their life and destiny.
But the reality is that no one can take full responsibility for another person’s life.
This leads to resentment, grudges, and regret in close relationships.
Whether it’s resentment or regret, both are slow-draining processes that leave us feeling weaker and weaker.
There are two main ways to maintain relationships: one is by pleasing others to gain their attention.
The other is by increasing your own value and charm, so others are naturally drawn to you.
When someone is unwilling to improve themselves, they often resort to pleasing others in a submissive manner to maintain relationships.
Those who do this have deep insecurities about themselves.
Even if they manage to secure the relationship, they don’t feel secure or enjoy it. They always harbor doubts about their own worth.
Many relationships, including close ones, break down because the weaker party doesn’t realize they are in the weaker position and still attempts to act like they are in control.
Pretending to be strong is, in fact, a sign of weakness, and they don’t even realize it.
The weaker party’s mindset is often emotionally driven, rather than based on common societal values such as personal worth and contributions.
They use their own standards to judge situations but don’t realize they lack real value.
Another truth in life is that people who are internally lacking rarely feel gratitude.
For them, receiving help feels like another reminder of their inferiority.
Whoever helps them is seen as an “enemy” who exposes their vulnerable position.
In all fairness, my mother treated her son as her entire world, providing for him both materially and emotionally. Now that she’s older, and her daughters are willing to help take care of her, this should be seen as a blessing.
But my mother doesn’t seem to feel any gratitude for this happiness.
Instead, she laments that after giving everything to her son, she now has to be cared for by her daughters in rotation, which she feels is unfair and humiliating.
Many elderly people say that being cared for by their children in turns is the most helpless situation.
But in reality, the most helpless form of elderly care is not this. It’s having to rely on a caretaker or being placed in a nursing home.
With rotating care, your children are still around. They are family! Elderly parents can still feel a sense of security.
But if you hire a caretaker or live in a nursing home, you’re surrounded by strangers, and it’s hard for elderly people to feel safe.
I sincerely hope that, whether elderly or young, we can live happily and peacefully with our families.
For those who love us, our happiness and well-being are the greatest rewards.
On the other hand, if we are always crying and complaining, it only brings sadness to those who care about us. Our presence becomes a source of guilt for them, which in turn is a form of emotional punishment.