Fuck you Justin, we're moving to Hive.
Moving to hive
6 years ago by berniesanders (77)
$142.89
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This is a tricky one because doing anything stupid will get you caught. That money is dirty and you are gonna need to clean it if you ever want to use it.
Step one, hide that money. You aren't just hiding it from the cops, no one can find it. For me that spot is the attic in my house. No one else can get up there and I can stash the cash right under the insulation so even if someone goes up there they ain't finding it.
Step two is gotta be laying low. Now this doesn't mean hiding out in your grandma's basement, it more about just continuing your life as normal. Even though you got a shitload of cash, you can't touch that shit and you need to go back to your shitty ass job.
Step three is cleaning the money. You can't just suddenly have a few extra hundred grand in your account, that's suspicious as fuck. So what's the plan? We are starting a super shitty side business. Get your arts and crafts kits out because we are going to the farmer's market. Knit some bullshit scarf with a pokemon or some shit on there, head to the market, don't sell shit but when I go home I pad those numbers with all that cash from my attic.
It will take a while but I've artificially pumped up my income with the stashed cash and slowly cleaned all that money. No one knows anything besides me and I can retire early at the ripe age of 64. Life is good.
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All the bank robbers that got cut did exactly that :)
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Congrats. :)
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Oh snap! Have been offline due to thanksgiving today, just noticed this!
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I would buy more steem power and be a supportive whale in steemit and live on curation rewards.
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Sorry, lame.
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@berniesanders I go to the nearest casino, put it all on Roulette Black. If I win, nice double up, if I lose, I'll just rob another bank!!
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id burn half then start the real fun
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then why rob the bank in the first place if you don't care about the money because this doesn't make much sense
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rob it for fun
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Travel to Mexico, Cocaine and hookers...... Lmfao
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Step1: Rob bank
Step2: setup .onion site to sell "used" teeth
Step3: pay homeless to "obtain" teeth for me to sell on the site
Step4: pay someone to ship teeth and fill orders
Step5: sit back and get richer
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First run away from there. If the police escapes than i want to invest in crypto.
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Why would the police be escaping?
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Because he framed the police for the robbery!
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.
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Sleep on it.
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I assume you mean that literally
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I come back later and ask a sexy female victim out on a date!! I think she can t refuse ...I am be rich now..
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Buy votes and get elected as the next "most honest" president!
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I would spend it all powering up, so that I could stay the hole day doing technical analysis on shitty coins and posting here on steem!
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@berniesanders lol! Here is my plan..
1. Run partner run!
Make a fake passport, Bribe a pilot, then leave country to a remote place.
Stay hidden for a couple of months at least. Hide the money here n there like pablo!
Changing my face look, if I have looted world bank,I better do a plastic surgery!
Avoid crowded places, cctv cameras and even relatives, friends and loved ones!
Living the rest of life with a fear of being busted!
No mate! There's no bright future in that. I would rather earn money by hardwork and enjoy peaceful life. I think you will agree with that too! 😉
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I flee the country to hideout in Russia. But "in Soviet Russia, banks rob you" and I'm broke again...
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Are you should you wouldn't write 'Dtube exclusive' and make a video about it to upload to dtube like yours truly used to do hahaha? (inside joke from way back hehe) how are you these days old friend? @kenanqhd
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Good that this has become an inside joke between us lol
I'm doing well @kawaiicrush, good to see you around
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The bank down my street got robbed and the guy got away on a bike- he was never caught. A year or two later he decided to try it again and got away again on the same bike, never to be caught. The moral of the story is, if you're going to rob a bank- do it in rural Pennsylvania.
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Run!
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call the cops, tell them all about it (gIvE mAnY dEtAiLs) and then at the end of telling them my plan say it was an accident
oops .
p.s: i am only 10 years old so i'm pretty sure i could rob as many banks as i want and have zero lEgAl pRoBlEmS lol
(hi this is me)
oH also i'd give them puppy eyes like this so even if i got caught they wouldnt care (:
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hi @berniesanders quick question, what is ur favorite fruit/vegetable?
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Go to Asia be. Be A sex icon
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Walk around handing out hundred dollar bills to homeless people. :D Or, you know, a bunch of 20s so they don't get shit from suspicious people who make judgements based on looks.
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On the way out I pressed a customer for their car keys. When I arrived in front of the Acura all I could think is, "Damn kid too bad I am gonna torch it when I am done."
Cruising swiftly from the scene at a smooth 100 mph down the highway while rolling the phattest blunt. Sweating bullets as the adrenaline had my heart fluttering. Oh yes! I can feel the rush of freedoms gate.
Mile after mile. Exit after exit.
Finally out to the country to destroy the evidence. A fifth of 151 Bacardi seemed like a proper send off for the vehicle that provided such a wonderful service to my livelihood.
I lit the blunt as I strolled away into the countryside. The gleaming sillouette of the flames' red hue could be seen in the rocks and bark near by.
I called the boss on my cell.
"Another job well done. I will see you soon Mr. Anders." I remarked precisely.
I hung up the phone and went to deliver the pile of cash from the robbery. Hopefully the boss is generous with his new found loot.
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...buy steem so price go high so then get a lot of SP and start a new acount like @berniesanders to help minnows grow by upvoting their comments!
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Then I will put all the money in my house under the soil ✌✌✌
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Firstly, I will convert all my money into bitcoin and then I will go to UAE
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Move to the south of the country buy bitcoin from atms that dont ask for id . scramble it . after it cools down sell that bitcone cash on craigslist
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Wait until midnight then put the bank back where you found it...
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After Deposit :L:):):):) Steem + SBD
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Once I'm safe and sound in my new place with all my mining rigs working like a charm with cheap to almost free electricity, I'd start powering up Steem, become a whale and just let the passive incomes rain.
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Using bitcoin for such activity is stupid because everything is visible on the blockchain. You better convert to an anonymous privacy coin like monero
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and Venezuelan authorities will track you down, confiscate your miners and arrest you for using Government subsidized electricity for personal gains. Then, while in Jail, you will find someone to make you a wife and be there bitch. Have fun!
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No. I have a friends in Venezuela who own mining rigs, there are certain practices and protocols to avoid being catched by corrupt authorities and robbers. It's not illegal using subsidized electricity for personal gains, just don't rob electricity from other houses to power your rigs and you'll be fine.
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Invest some money in multiple crypto so the police won't be able to track it, spend some to help homeless people on street, go to switzerland to save the rest of the money.
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Go straight to the laundry mat to wash the exploded ink packets off and disable the RFID strips
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I would become the most coveted whale of steemit, hahaha
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After stealing a bank, I go to a parasidiaca island to enjoy my life, food, beach, sex, music and cigars ..
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Wait for tomorrows paper to see how much I have stolen :)
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Buy more STEEM and reward the meek.
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Buy STEEM. Power Up half of it.
My focus is now on WHACK Curation SHOW that I'm doing on @vimm. That money will put me in a position to support more people and STEEM Blockchain.
Whack? I know.. :D
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Depends on the bank, if it was my bank I’d probably be able to afford a nice steak dinner and that’s about it.
A real bank? I’d feel really bad but playing along... I’d build a really killer home movie theater. Buy my neighbors house (they suck but have lots of good friends on the road) and turn my house into a 1 story taking up both lots. Hire someone to do the pool so I don’t have to constantly deal with it. Buy a few hundred thousand steem while it is low and put the rest into bitcoin and ride it up. Oh and I’d hire a full time chef.
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Next step must be that how can be use this large amount.you have to live fearful live .can CC TV recognise me? Till then when where can be hide this money.
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After robbing a bank, it will become a person who is more damaged because money will regulate our personalities.
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Oh... simple, I got to up to someone who is crazy and tell him to bribe a politician that I hate, offer to pay them tons of money to do "the deal" for me... then use that scandal to cover up my tracks.
The rest of the money gets buried under an undisclosed home for 3 years minimum. After which I start buying monero with it, slowly but surely, until it dries up, but all over the counter.
Win/Win right there...
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Help the poor people by that money.
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...I'm going to Disney Land!
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If you're a minor, strip naked. The cameras can't record you because it's child porn and the people can't watch you because that's watching a child nude. win-win!
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Obviously none of these people robbed a bank successfully so I'll tell you what you do: first tempting option is to post pictures on Facebook showing off the loot, or the next one is to gather your best friends and lol at how easy it was after you show them links of the news article with pictures of you wearing glasses and a hat and play with the toy gun that you used to coax some teller to stuff the bag witb petty cash.
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The bank getting robbed was just a diversion. The perfect crime I concocted was this:
"I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier."
Dwight from The Office
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1 - I get away
2- I go to the nearest lottery center and spend all the money on powerball tickets
3 - Now we wait
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buy monero.
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I'd try to hard fork it (the money).
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Buy a boat, sail around the world.
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Get the hell out of dodge lol
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Walk in next day and set up checking account using the cash for deposit.. No harm done😉
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First, I would cut a deal with Joe Rogan to get Musk back for a second time. Then we would make him smoke again, but he has to inhale at least three times, holding his breath for a minute the third time.
The next thing to do is to have a broker standby on speed dail for when to buy some Space X and Tesla stocks with my share...
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Run till you find a good hoe maybe? 🤔
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Pay a person capable of solving the 310 BTC riddle for me. I'd help of course and we would split the riddle money afterwards. Lol
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And zoom off to lone island just like in the movies🏊♀️
Lol
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Go straight to the laundry mat to wash the exploded ink packets off and disable the RFID strips
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Go straight to the laundry mat to wash the exploded ink packets off and disable the RFID strips
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Go straight to the laundry mat to wash the exploded ink packets off and disable the RFID strips
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Go straight to the laundry mat to wash the exploded ink packets off and disable the RFID strips
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I head to the Bitcoin ATM and then cross the border to Mexico and become Pedrotiii ! Then I convert half to Steem and buy a house next to @jeffberwick.
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Burn my social security, ID, cancel all credit cards. High jack a private jet, fly to europe. Change name, Bam, I'm now Mr.Ronald Mcdonald
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You report about it on Steemit to see if you can get a vote from bernie!
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Done!
https://steemit.com/engagement/@randyw/i-just-robbed-a-bank
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The robbing begin with a good strategy, like a robbing when the bank in a busy situation that make no one think about it. the strategy like : somebody get a mask to be a client to meet a officer desk to used a chip manually. And then... the robbed a bank started!
First: a hacker from a long way will operate by his smart way to change the traffic of saham in bad situation price. And make them in panic situation till they not focus of what happen inside.
Actually, somebody was hide inside by pass the roof or water hole.
Second: Time show to robbed the bank
Third: I'd wait until things quiet down. And try go outside when the situation back again normal by toilet or back door.
Fourth: I'd open an account with the same bank. And other Bank exactly with not same time.
Five: I would slowly deposit a good variation of those funds back into their bank Account just to love them in good way as coustomer.
And finally try to go crypto exchange to make it clearly and withdraw it in good situation. and make party haha!
#cheer
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Keep working at the said bank until suspicion subsides.
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Buy out @ned
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Buy out @ned
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With the money I would buy a new computer and invest in steem
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I would apply for a job at the bank I just robbed from the very next morning
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Buy my parents a house.... although it would be unwise as I'd be tracked by the bank why I have a huge sum of money so suddenly.
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Better to run else police will put behind the bars for years.
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...how did you know?
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I woke up and had peed my pants...
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My clever response is to tell you the truth about what I would actually do, because I dont think anyone will do that lol. So lets see I just robbed a bank, assuming it was a success.. if I went on to enjoy life after getting away with it I think the guilt would rot at me so much so that I wouldn't be able to actually enjoy the money. One part of me says if I could get away with taking it in the first place.. maybe I could break back in and return it.. and all would be well in my conscience. I honestly wouldn't be able to sleep at night thinking that I stooped that low. Sometimes I wonder how the government can sleep at night after robbing all of us through the legal process they call taxes lol. Hmm ok back to what I would do.. I would live in fear my daughter would know what i did.. and grow up to do the same.. and what if she didn't get away with it and ended up on the wrong side of that sort of situation. I think all in all my consience would eat the ever living daylights out of my mind until I would find no peace, no rest, and I would end up a wino.. and probably dead somewhere. Not to get religious Bernie but my Mother raised me reading the Bible and in there it says 'the wages of sin is death'. That is why even if something morally wrong seems fun in the beginning it never pays off in the end. We have to live with the choices we make. So even setting God aside for a moment.. I am my own worst enemy.. I would not be able to live with myself. Sorry my answer isn't fun or sexy.. it is just the boring truth. haha Please don't hate me :P
I love ya Bernie Sanders!! aka The Fun Guy!! hehe
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Now its time to make a plan for next one
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I flee to the forest with all the money, I burrow half of the quarry underground. For the rest I buy Bitcoins and gold. I send Bitcoins to separate wallets and fly to the Cook Islands, where I buy a small house near the beach, I live comfortably away from civilians and suspicious looks.
I change my name to Hugo
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Everything was arranged for go Caribbean before robbed bank.
After robbed immediately go and pick flight and then I'll stay Coconut island with 3 or 4 sexy babies spend money with them.
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... Force HF 21 and get rid of RC so we can grow this platform instead of shutting the doors for newcomers.
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If not caught I , I will invest the money into different ventures so that I will have No need to steal or rob a bank ever again.
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I'd power it up into SP :)
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Rob another bank. Why stop at one when you pull one off successfully?
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deny everything then, years later, get voted in by the senate as Secretary of the Treasury of the USDT
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I'd buy my wife plastic surgery to make her boobs point the right direction, while she is there she can have lipo and a nip tuck and a full makeover. you know make her 20 years younger.
I'd probably invest in a decent penis pump too, you know something that can make a leprechauns pinky turn into a donkey's dong, then with the £2.50 i'd have left I would buy a mars bar because they are getting a little expensive these days :D
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I would hide and wait until all the stars disappear.
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That always goes through your head, especially the first time; Now what? It gets easier, and it really always comes down to one thing, the first thing: Feed the cats.
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I most assuredly absolutely did nothing of the sort...
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change my name, my address, get a face transplant and rob another bank. Then repeat...
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I heard a story when I lived in Thailand about some Russians that robbed a bank over there in Pattaya city, they escaped in a speedboat, though forgot to take fuel with them, and were caught a few hundred meters from the beach when they ran out of fuel.
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Next deposit the cash in another bank
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Well I live in the US so 1st thing go across the Canadian border.
Buy a house / compound ...
Turn my USD into Canadian Loons, route some of into crypto,
Use the rest of the money to get a hot young wife
Invest in a legal Canada 420 business
Spend the rest of the days 420 and riding the wife
Basically I would be peace out suckas
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Buy Banksy's girl with a balloon painting . What could possibly go wrong?
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I would go buy some steem, power up my account just so I can downvote Haejin
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I robbed a bank and then just entered cheat code for No Police.
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Buy ticket and get out of the country...then fulfill my dreams
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Doses and mimosas, champagne and cocaine!
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Just leave the country for 5 years Dont spend the money for 6 months after the 5 years
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Buy myself my own bank and start robbing civilians legally!
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First: I'd get away with it.
Second: I'd wait until things quiet down.
Third: I'd open an account with the same bank.
Fourth: I'd slowly deposit a clean variation of those funds back into their bank just to fuck with them.
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Hi @berniesanders!
Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your UA account score is currently 7.147 which ranks you at #71 across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has dropped 1 places in the last three days (old rank 70).
In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 291 contributions, your post is ranked at #30.
Evaluation of your UA score:
Feel free to join our @steem-ua Discord server
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sex, drugs, rock'n'roll!
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If I robbed a Bank I would convert all the money into crypto & make more money without any loss.
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This is a fun question. The obvious answer is Steem Monsters. So many Steem Monsters. I'd buy every single Lord of Darkness. Gold Foils, Common Foils, Alpha, Beta, all of them. Then, cackling like a maniac, I'd send all the Lord of Darkness cards to @null, returning them to void.
The death deck could have no legendary. :D
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Launder all the money into crypto.
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