I’ll Help The Next Customer In Line Please

I was not thinking ‘write a post’ when I went inside Bank of America on Monday, I was thinking finances. I was less than a minute into my 30 minute experience when that changed. I started taking mental notes for this post as soon as the first employee offered me their assistance. Good morning from Los Angeles - Happy Wednesday!

Cute marketing, B!

The only reason I ventured inside the institution is because I had a check I needed to separate three different ways. I knew I was destined for a challenge. I didn’t want to deposit it to myself and then separate the other two, it’s a T-word thing I’d rather not save on the Steemit blockchain.

Before standing in line for the lone counter employee, I went directly to the freshly shaven, clean cut, fancy suit wearing guy. I told him I have a check and I need to put amount A into my account, amount B into my wife’s account and amount C into USD.

He shook his head rapidly, “It can’t be done” he said. I can not deposit cash into my wife’s bank account because of new “tracking regulations.” I asked, “so if someone came in here right now and wanted to put cash money into my bank account, you would prevent it?” He said yes and pointed across the street to Chase bank “they started complying about three months ago, we’re always a little behind.” Those were his exact words: “We’re always a little behind.” He said the only way I could do that would be to deposit the entire check into my account, withdraw the USD I wanted to put in my pocket and Zelle my wife the third portion “so we can document your wife accepting the cash.” Here we are again, T-word, I can’t do it ‘their way.’

I ended up having to cash the entire thing at the counter without letting it hit my bank account. Then I was able to put Part A in my pocket and Part B directly into my account. My wife had to physically return to the same banking branch to make the ‘tracking regulated’ deposit to complete Part C. The hard way was the only way:

source

I made my way to the back of the four person line and waited until the one lonely teller could assist me. The lady in front of me surprised me when she got to the counter. I couldn’t help but overhear her, she told the bank teller she was at a car dealership trying to purchase a vehicle for her niece and “the dealership won’t accept cash.” I didn’t catch the dollar amount of the vehicle but that isn’t the point. The important thing to note here is the car dealership doesn’t want USD.

While still in the same twilight zone, only only about 30 minutes have passed at this point and the lady in front of me completed her transaction. Finally the bank teller signals to me “I’ll help the next customer in line, please.”

I explained to the teller what I needed to do. There’s more people in line now, too, there’s probably double the amount of people waiting since I started.

After completing the deposit and running the USD through the Diebold currency counter several times, she told me “we’re out of $100’s, are $50’s ok? I promise they spend the same.” That’s what she said: ‘I promise they spend the same.’ What I wanted to say and what I actually said are two different things. :fake laugh: “Thank you, yes please, that’ll be great please.”

source

It’s been several months since I spent that much time in a bank, a half hour to be exact, that’s a bit much. During that 30 minute span, however, I discovered my bank renegotiated their modus operandi. For those of you who are unaware, here’s five central banking features that were brought to my attention during my recent visit:

-I can not deposit USD into anyones bank account, not even my wife’s personal bank account and she has the same last name as me.

-Nobody is permitted to deposit USD into my bank account on my behalf other than myself and I need two forms of ID in order to do so.

-A car dealership, somewhere here in Los Angeles, California, does not accept USD as a method of payment.

-Bank of America ran out of hundred dollar bills amid my minnow transaction.

-My personal favorite: The teller thinks a $50 and a $100 spend the same. She even felt the need to reassure me by saying “I promise.”
:fake laugh: “Thank you, yes please, that’ll be great please.”

Crypto. Is. The. Future. Is. Eos.

Click Here If you missed Monday: