How do you feel about the concept of reciprocity?
If you are talking about consequences; if you cheat then you broke your agreement. So what are the possible consequences for breaking one of the most important agreements you can make to another person? What do you imagine the costs would be if it is discovered that you cheated? Cost vs benefit.
The way not to cheat is not to agree to something which could result in you cheating.
Like taking care of your parents when they are old is ethical and logical at the same time. After all they took care of you when you needed it.
This is why I asked you about reciprocity. The whole basis of the ethics you're discussing is reciprocity.
Agreement ? How come a relationship is an agreement? Relationship should be based on love, not on agreements !!
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70% love 30% agreement. When it comes to relationship, more emphasis is laid onstaying in love bound by agreement
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Comeon if there is agreement then how can their be love? Its a deal then !! Love is not a deal.
Love is unconditional, something with no demands !! Ahhh, I now feel no one really understands love in this world !! Its all give and take happening. Too sad man !
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Love as unconditional is irrational though. In practice if love were unconditional then an abuser would be able to say they love their victim and the victim would have to love their abuser.
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Its not irrational. Only humans dont understand it, else look at animals.
They dont want their kids to take care of them when they grow old, they dont keep expectations from their kids to make them proud, they still take care of them whole heartedly, they still would fight even their predators and death to save their babies even when they won't give them anything in return.
Similarly nature loves us unconditionally and gives us everything. Air, water, etc but still we say that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS IRRATIONAL AND IMPRACTICAL.
May be we don't understand love yet !!
And talking about victim and abuser, a person who doesn't love himself cannot love someone else. If he allows himself to be abused, then it's not love in the first place at all !!!
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You are talking about parent/child relationship, not partner/partner unrelated adults.
So how does this translate? Yes of course mothers and fathers are capable of unconditional love toward their babies. But this doesn't mean this applies to husband and wife, or girlfriend and boyfriend, or adult partner and adult partner.
How do you make it rational for two adults?
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Haha we just need those eyes to recognize LOVE dear.
You can find examples of true love everywhere if you observe nature. Animal parents were an example, you can even take animal partners. Do they have an agreement? Do they deal or make promises? Do they abuse each other? No!!!! There is immense love between them that they stay together without any of these !! They stay together because they WANT TO.
Who taught them all this? Noone !!! But still they care for their kids TOGETHER. If the mother takes care in a cave, the father goes out and prey !!! See, there is UNDERSTANDING, they understand their responsibilities without any promises. They don't fight & argue that you would do this and I would do that !!!
Can you see the level of understanding between an animal couple? There is so much to learn from nature @dana-edwards !!! We just need to detach from our humanly mind !!
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How would you know someone loves you unless they agree or promise to treat you a certain way and then do what they say? If the actions and behaviors toward you do not matter then I guess it's not much of an agreement but if they do matter then the agreement determines whether it's a relationship or not.
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Why do you NEED to know if they love you or not ? Would you love them back only if they loved you at the first place? My parents would love me even if I dont love them back. That's true love.
A relationship with true love doesn't need any promises. If someone loves you truly, they will do everything to keep you happy EVEN IF THEY DIDN'T PROMISE IT TO YOU and if they dont love you, then PROMISES OF THE PAST can not force them to love you. So why are promises needed anyway?
Actions and behaviors OUT OF LOVE can make a relationship work better instead of action and behaviors OUT OF AGREEMENT.
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Someone can love you without ever being in a relationship with you. A relationship requires agreement (not the emotion).
This is my own opinion but the relationship is based on the promises. That means if two people marry then they say they'll be with each other in sickness and in health and all that. If they just have feelings for each other they aren't required to date, or marry, they can feel as they feel, but the relationship is the agreement to treat the other a certain way.
If it's just about feelings why not just be friends? Or acquaintances? Why take the additional responsibility?
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I have been in WONDERFUL relationships with people without ANY agreement.
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Why do you always edit your comments after I reply 😛😅
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Well I don't believe in marriages also. Talking about this would take it to another level.
I do believe there is no need of marriages and also commitment. People can live much happier if they just be with each other BECAUSE THEY LOVE BEING WITH EACH OTHER.
We humans have made everything so complicated just to secure our future. And its killing all the fun, excitement and adventure of life.
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In your opinion what makes a relationship a relationship? And what constitutes the end of a relationship?
I'd be interested in reading your blog posts on these topics.
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As I said love is the cause of a relationship and it is the base. It should make the base of a relationship !! The other thing that is important in a relationship is understanding. If any of it is missing, then that constitutes the end of it !!
Well I wrote about something similar long time back if you want to read. Here it is :-
https://steemit.com/love/@himshweta/concept-no--7---spuriousness-of-true-love-collaborated-quotes--poetry--article-1506163523-2481027
It is a poetry on the top but below it has all the description.
I am sure you will find many new things in this post.
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You used your parents as an example but this is perhaps a bad example. In adult relationships where they are not your parents is it unconditional? Should it be unconditional? What if one side begins abusing the other side? What if one side makes no promises and so they treat the other side as they feel like without any guard rails legally or morally?
If all you have to depend on is their emotional integrity this could fail and then what do you have? What if you choose the wrong person?
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Then you can leave the wrong person !!!
Dont you choose a wrong phone and realize their is a better one in the market? Don't you try a hundred fields of career to choose the one perfect you ?
Don't you give up a 100 times to succeed once?
What's the issue?
It still happens even after promises. And what you do is try stay away from them !! Respecting and loving yourself should always be the first priority as I said.
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I believe a person should straightaway go and tell their partner that they are in love with someone else now. They dont do it because it is considered unethical. Whta would be the cost of it?
Well the other person should understand and should be fine with it.
Well reciprocity is logical...isnt it? Whats illogical in reciprocity ? If mutual benefits are taking place and no one is getting harmed, then whats the issue?
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