Digital Liquid

I just mind fucked myself and have to share. I must warn you that the following is so surreal that it might actually be real. Don't be too critical, my friend😈

Today I watched a snippet of videos about how we might be living in some kind of simulated reality. Of course, at first you may dismiss the idea but understand that the "truth" could be that simple. We may never figure it out though.

When I first did acid I was 16 or so. I bought a hundred hits of Timothy Leary 3. I believe I took one and half the first time. One day I will tell you about "the trip." For now though I will tame the scatter brain and try to stay on track. I felt like I could taste the texture of air. I felt like I could feel the digital substance of life. I was able to fully exist in each moment, detached from my ego and the social status of the people around me. I could see the pain in there eyes mixing with aura around there intent on staying happy. I could feel the brink of a "bad trip" right at the tip of my brain but easily pushed it down into submission. My knocks in life were not going to fuck this up.

Everything in life is made up of this electrical substance. Call it atoms. I'm sure there is a scientific explanation. But I don't care because I can feel it. It is all one. The sun is in me the moon is my friend. The earth holds me to it like it doesn't want to let go. I am a piece of this earth. Some thing from outer space landed here and grew into me over millions of years. Or not?

Did something create this existence? Is it watching? Testing? Are religious beliefs trying to explain this very thing? I think not. I think religion is a control mechanism to manage other humans so that they will cooperate.

I could write about this endlessly.

I watched this show called black mirror the episode named playtest. In the end when he can't tell what is real or fake I felt transferred to the times I took acid. It's like visualizing life as digital moments and everything seems fake. The snippets I saw earlier today made the episode more profound. It touched my thumbscrew. I want to live forever.

I am still trying to figure it all out. I have numbed these thoughts with alcohol for years and am only beginning to scratch the surface of my understanding. I don't agree with most perceptions of reality. I don't like my circumstances. I want to become a better human. The only way to do so is to share my experiences.

TOTW