Such a lucky coincidence that a neighbour of mine was a retired psychotherapist. So many evenings of unbearably hot summer days have we spent together talking, he churning out his life-long wisdom and professional knowledge, and me avidly absorbing his words. Today he passed away. I forgot much of what he said, of course, but I clearly remember some things he told me. Today, to honour memory if him, I would like to share what I remember most.
- Never shift responsibility on to someone else's shoulders for what is happening in your life.
I understand that the temptation is great, but spare yourself. Only at the moment when you internally accept the notion that "I am the author of my failures and the creator of my successes", will you gain strength.
- Accept the fact that you cannot change the past, it's over.
We are subject only to our future, which directly depends on what we are doing now, at every given, specific moment. Do not expect the future to smile at you, do it so that it cannot refuse smiling at you.
- Get rid of the illusion that you can change other people.
Subconsciously, we all suffer of this naive misconception, and as a result we suffer literally. People change only under certain circumstances, everything else is just a deception of perception. Let them be different, and at some point you will even begin to enjoy it.
- Other need you only if you are strong.
We are not needed by others if we are weak, tired, suffering and unhappy. If they pretend that things are different, they simply mislead you. Do not give in! Agree with the absoluteness of this rule, exhale, shake up yourself, and you will understand that there is no reason to be upset.
- All our actions will have certain consequences.
In fact, we always choose not what we will do, but what will result from this action of ours. Therefore, before you do something stupid, think carefully about its consequences, and then the stupidity in your life will be much less.
- Do not live as if you are going to live forever.
Each of us will die. This is inevitable and is a medical fact. You can suffer and torture yourself mentally because of this, but you can make an effort and leave out this topic once and for all. Do not live as if you are going to live forever. And do not live as if you are going to die tomorrow. Understand both of these statements, and you will find your own recipe for a happy life.
- Do what you think is important.
If you have wondered about the meaning of life, most likely, it's just depression. It is not the concrete "meaning of life" that is important, but the feeling that you live meaningfully. Do what you internally believe to be important. Do not forget to tell yourself about this. And do not chase after success. If you just do what you feel is important, success will catch up with you.
- Never waste your time and energy on those to whom you are indifferent or - even worse – on those who do not love you.
In this world, a lot of people with whom it is possible to live life in joy. Just do not be closed and suspicious. Believe me, being open and kind, you do not lose anything.