So I know “It could always be worse” but could it at least be manageable?

I am about to be 26 this year yet I feel like I am 50.. I’ve given so much time and energy to being stuck in this ever-worsening grief loop which is constantly stealing from myself and those in my presence including my other children (different mother) a predictable cycle of depression, anxiety and apathy... My ex has been using our daughter (who’s now 5) as a pawn literally since birth...

When my daughter was about 2 and a half, my child’s mother and I had a fight that finalized our separation. We were both toxic for each other and dishonest through out our almost 5 years together total. She allowed contact with my child over weekends and random days in my residence for months after this fight until her relationship solidified with some (On probation for domestic strangulation/battery) who’s caused turmoil numerous times through out our relationship and this was only after I established my seriousness in how down I was with her and letting her ruin my life did she step up her alienation and peruse her next victim…

We have been to court now since then, a few dozen times… Sadly not even over exaggerating... She literally has filed false restraining orders and made false allegations to ensure the upper hand in custody court and went as far as claiming I violated her BS harassment orders in side the courthouse… I immediately requested the audio and the video footage of the courthouse and after months and months of court, wasted gas, time and dealing with this narcissistic woman and her wack job lawyer I got her false allegations dismissed…

The last few years I’ve been forced to watch my child grow up through biweekly supervised visits and random screenshots off social media people have sent me... This supervised center that’s an hour and a half away charges $38.00 an hour to watch me watch my kid… It’s a very uninviting and quite depressing Visit Location as well due to it being a crisis shelter for children actually in need… Out of all of our visits, there's never been a negative report.. There's never been a concern of anyone's safety..

No parent should be punished with alienation and extortion for believing they deserve better in life...

I’ve called and Emailed her lawyer many times to see what needs to be done to move forward and get real bonding time with my child and I’m met with nothing but evasion and excuses when he decides to respond weeks to months later…

I have gone as far as contacting Child Protective Services ( #CPS ) and trying to get a Social Worker involved but Parental Alienation is yet to be recognized as neglect or abuse. I have tapped into every other resource available to me aside from finding a pro bono lawyer in my area (Duluth Minnesota USA) The lawyers I have met with require a retainer deposit from $3000.00-$6000.00 and they run $200-$300 per hour including their traveling time. So as someone who’s been sunk from this legal abuse of the system and stuck at home with major depression coming across these funds are going to be next to impossible to get alone. I don’t have the most functional or supportive family, so I’m considering the last thing I’d ever want to do and that is use something like Go Fund Me or some other sources of crowd funding that exists on blockchain tech like #Steemit.

I’m no good to the world a depressed hermit, but with the hole in my chest filled I plan on organizing something that addresses all these fathers literally DYING to be a part of their kids lives... Something needs to change… Family Courts are destroying families and we need some laws reformed.. 50/50 custody should be mandatory. Parental Alienation should be recognized and addressed.. The parents who use their child as a legal metaphoric bullet proof vest should be criminalized..

Sorry for my ranting it just seems some of us forget the kids of today are the adults of tomorrow..

If anyone has good methods on coping and eventually getting out of this rut I'm all ears.. Or even open to talking to others in similar shoes.
@drtarts

(Some resources that may be helpful)
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/jurisprudence/2011/05/mommy_hates_daddy_and_you_should_too.html
http://www.warshak.com/alienation/index.html
https://parentalalienationsupport.com/
https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/16z6av/im_a_guy_that_worked_at_the_duluth_model_in/
https://www.everythingfordads.com/dadsblog/bias-in-the-family-court-fathers-have-rights