Voyeur

My son has not spoken to me for nearly three years now. I watch his videos on You tube and now he has moved onto Steemit and he posts on it almost daily. So I check a few times a week and see what he is up to. I get to enjoy him without dealing with him and I am starting to really love this arrangement. He has been so hateful to me personally, but the videos are not directed at me - two of his posts on Steemit were and they were so hateful and nasty I paused on them until I steeled myself but then I went back. I get to see what he is doing and enjoy his life. I don't have to be insulted, I don't have to give him money, I don't have to worry about him because I see that he has a life with people who care about him and I know he is in touch with his transgendered Mom squared now - I figure Theo just couldn't handle being in the middle any longer - his Dad exploded if Theo mentioned me. Now his Dad is in touch again - after twenty five years and a transgender -my head spins when I try to figure this out, but it is all working for me...So I get to see my son without having to deal with him, and I am liking it. When his son is born I might be sad but you know...I have my nieces and my nephew so if Theo doesn't need me I guess I am a little bit lucky too...maybe I am in recovery from being Theo's Mom...