You know those times where you have to have a family dinner and everyone comes but no one really wants to be there? We have all been to one.
Tonight's dinner was nothing short of terrific, in the most train wreck kind of way.
My mom opened up the dinner with a wonderful tale, half way through she farted. Unapologetically so.
With a bad taste in everyones mouth, we continued to eat. Until my brother decided to start shooting our dog with his finger gun. You know those super clever dogs, where you point your finger at them and go "Bang" he kept on doing this repetitively it was one of the most annoying things. BANG BANG BANG.
Please brother calm your enthusiastic killing ways. We are trying to eat here.
Family dinners are always tough for the one who is cooking. It is like a mad scramble that everyone is watching, like you are on some reality tv show without the cameras around, but everyone is commenting on what you are currently doing. Like some fucked up family spectator sport.
Poor mom, bless her.
But, I'm pretty sure I ate some kind of rock hard nail like thing. Although I protested at the table that I did in fact eat a nail. Mom assures me it was just a fish bone.
This is my family dinner experience, every time. Wonderfully frustrating but god, you have to love your family.