Here's the deal. It's great that you share your son (for now). Hopefully you can keep things rational with your ex-wife. It's an entirely different matter when your wife commits adultery, leaves the state in which you currently reside, establishes jurisdiction in another state by living there 6 months with your children without your consent, then files for divorce while you are busy working full-time providing the family health insurance, paying for two homes, two sets of utility bills, etc..

When you DO finally go to file paperwork at the courthouse, you will most likely be REQUIRED to name a "superior" or "custodial parent" and an "inferior" or "non-custodial parent" and will be ordered to pay 'child support' to the "superior" parent. This is because all such transactions are recorded by your State Disbursement Unit ('SDU' per 42 USC 666) which files reports with the federal government periodically to rake in matching funds which are poured into your state proportional to the harm done to your children and their financial futures. The more one of you (the "inferior non-custodial parent" is extorted, the more your state bureaucrats and judges benefit from the matching federal welfare dollars! Hence, the more you and your kids are screwed, the more lucrative it is for your state government!!