Today was Fathers Day. I went to see my Dad. It was probably the last time I will see him.
He is 94. The cancer has spread to his whole body. There is nothing more they can do.
We live six hours away.
It is so sad to see the person you have known your whole life just lying in a hospital bed waiting.
So frail. So weak. So helpless.
But he still remembers old times. We took a card with a drawing of a place he knew long ago.
We talked about cars. He had a garage. Cars were his working life.
We talked about our plan to buy an electric car, and how the battery technology is getting better and may one day be good enough to get to him on one charge.
He has never been in an electric car. Now he never will.
He has never flown in an Spitfire. He always wanted to.
Before the garage he was in the RAF. But he never got to fly in a Spitfire.
Leaving was difficult and fumbly. My dad was getting tired. We didn't know what to say.
I knocked over the water jug onto the bed.
The nurses came to change the sheets.
We said goodbye.
I am glad I did.
My mum died was I was 22 and I didn't get to say goodbye.
That was my greatest regret...
[ image by ho7dog on pixabay.com ]
May you and your dad be surrounded by love and comfort now. What a beautiful and difficult time. I can feel your longing for more quality time with your dad. ❤🌻
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Thank you. I am hoping we can get there again.
But this weekend, we have the funeral of my great aunt who has just died. She was the same age as my Dad is.
And she lived in our house over 60 years ago.
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I hear you are dealing with loss of your dear aunt. My love and condolences @pennsif. May she rest in eternal peace & joy. ❤
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wow... that's a hard day, @pennsif
I know I wish I had one more day with my dad.
one more...
My brother and I came to spend the last couple nights at home with him. He had fought a few years, as the cancer spread. in the end, they stopped treatments, sent him home, with an oxy tank, and we came to stay.
We spent time that second night, my brother and I, just telling stories, to mom. She laughed and so did he, turning into these big wracking coughs. We wanted to stop but he got mad, so we continued with funny and bad stories from growing up with him.
He told us, he was tired, and then, drifted off in his favorite chair. My brother and I each gave him a kiss on the forehead, something we had done for decades, in the old ratty blue arm chair of his...
that next morning, instead of a week or so, he had drifted off in his sleep silently
Saying good bye, well... that was perhaps the single most peaceful thing I remember about the years long battle!
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It was you could all be together at the end. And telling stories, and laughing - that was beautiful.
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thanks, and thinking of you, at this time.
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It's a difficult time to be living so far away. Important for both of you to have that last visit and it hold good memories. Sorry to hear this Pennsif...my heart goes out to you.
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Thank you Shadows.
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Such a heart felt post and quite sad to read. Death is such a tough thing to deal with, especially in this kind of circumstance. It does sound like your dad has lead a more than interesting life and one that you're probably quite proud of. Thank you for sharing this moment as it makes me more inclined to stay in touch to my family while I can.
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Thank you for the kind comments.
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You're welcome buddy.
I'm going to have to tune into msp soon as I've not done in too long! Miss you all :D
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It's a rough time. I was visiting mine today in a care home, he doesn't have any mental capability now though and is in a lot of pain so it wasn't the best thing. It's a hard part of life
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Coming to the end of life is hard for sure.
I am grateful that my father is still alert and can share our stories of younger days.
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Coming from someone who had just about the worst goodbye possible with their Dad, that I had to bitterly relive today (which practically immobilized me playing in my baseball games and tonight), it's a blessing that there will be plenty of healthy positive memories and peace. You were able to have a coherent and positive talk, spend time, and have a nice memory about the good old days. It's virtually perfect from my eyes. Losing a loved one is terribly hard, but when that time comes, accepting it and moving forward in a healthy way will certainly be possible because of the terms of the relationship you've maintained over all of these years.
With your Mom, that was really bad luck, but relations were seemingly good and there were no hard feelings between you. There's really nothing to blame yourself for because it wasn't like you deliberately neglected her. It was just a fluke (if that helps) and she knows you wanted to be there for her.
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Thanks Matt. Sorry about your situation.
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Wow. Thank you for sharing even the difficult things.
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Thank you.
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It is something we all will go through, loosing the parents. it is the circle of life. 94 ? I wish I'll get to be that much, not many people do.
don't let it be the last time
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All strength to you Chris during this time.
I don't think anyone has lost a parent without regrets.
It is never easy to let go and we pray for you during this difficult period.
We will ask for strength and for the Lord to bring you memories of all the good times that you've had with your dad.
Take care.
Stephen
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Thank you Stephen, much appreciated.
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Praying for you my friend!
Blessings!
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Wow, i envy your strength. I hope you cope the best you can, 94 is a great age though.
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Had a similar experience today. Mine is not as far along but has cancer and is looking rough. Had to wonder if there would be another father's day :-(
No one is given another day past today and the older I get, the more I am learning about cherishing the moments. Even if they are not earthshattering but mundane. I hope that my mundane and less than great time with my dad today was good for him. I hope there are others. Who knows.
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Hi @pennsif!
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I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your father @pennsif. I'm catching up on some posts after being off Steemit for a couple of months.
My father died a few years ago, and although it was sad to see him getting weaker and more frail, after he died I realised how lucky we were to have been able to spend that time at his bedside. Those were precious moments.
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