The Best Old-Age Home May Be at Home
Yes, but who's home?
So your son has a large house and plenty of room for a 'granny annexe', would this be the right home for you.
Probably not.
It all depends on when you start preparing for your later years. If you are happy where you are and prepare for being less nimble by getting downstairs facilities equal to the upstairs ones then if ever you need to you can live on just one floor.
Alternatively, have a stair lift fitted, then you still have full access to your house.
Get all the gadgets that make life easier and get them in small not family size. Like dishwasher, freezer, microwave, Skype phone, internet and email. Get all these things in place long before it becomes difficult.
By modifying a home to increase comfort and safety, you can make it possible to enjoy independent living for years to come.
Then when your children start querying your ability to live by yourself you will (as if they didn't already know) be able to demonstrate your independence.
What about if you are not happy about staying in your current house for the next 40 years?
Again do something about it now, whilst you still have your spouse to help you, (yes that's another subject we will be covering). If where you live is too rural, too far from friends, church, social activities or your family, take action and find your ideal home, don't leave it too late!
You may still be able to drive now, but consider what public transport is available for the future.
Which brings us back to the granny annexe.
Whilst financially it may appear good sense to sell your house and live in the garden of one of your children, there are many potential problems.
Please consider what would happen if your child and family had to move to another area, or because of a financial crisis they had to sell.
If you can resolve all this then the annexe should be considered, providing it is big enough for you to be able to live independently and have room for a visitor to stay overnight.
However don't go blindly into it. Make sure your daughter/son in law are as keen with the idea. Talk to your son/daughter, their spouse and their children (your grandchildren), discuss the different ways life will change. Be honest about the good and bad. Come up with ideas for any issues before anything else.
Get professional advice, bear in mind that whilst you are doing all you can to live happily until you pass 100, your children may not outlive you. So ownership, deeds, mortgages and many other tax and legal things need sorting in advance of selling your current home.
If it looks as though it is the best option then great.
Now try and ensure you have a ground floor apartment with its own entrance.
Even if you allow your son to do the decorating, do make sure you choose the paint colour and have the room ready before move-in day.
If practical, arrange for cable or satellite connections that run independently.
On moving accept gracefully all the help that is offered. Don't be surprised to find that even with advance planning, everything will not fit in and a garage sale will be an urgent necessity. Oh yes, get your own full set of house keys!
If you have moved into an area away from where you were living then waste no time in finding out where important shops are located especially those which do stock your particular medical or herbal needs.
It will also be a very good idea to make sure your son/daughter learn how to administer medications for special conditions, like heart disease or diabetes.
Accept introductions to people in your new neighbourhood and church, especially people your age. Try and get involved with social groups and card clubs.
Remember we all take care of each other, everybody will be nice to you if you are nice to them. So when you need help, they help you. If you get too independent, you're going to be alone. It's a give and take.