FAMILYPROTECT THE ANTIDOTE TO ABUSE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

         

        Having read some series of follow steemians encounter in familyprotect I  made up my mind to write my encounter.

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        My whole life I have witnessed domestic abuse. As a young child I witnessed my father beat my mother, whom was pregnant with my sister at the time. As I got older my parents divorced and I had to live with my grandmother, as my parent's divorce was really messy. From the age of 4 I began to cop abuse from my grandmother's violent partner. I called him grandad even though both my grandfathers died when my parents where young, along with my mums mother. 

           Anyway, this man or "grandad" would pick fights with me, shout at me, drag me to my room and knocked me off a chair.

        Years later my mother was able to gain full custody of my sister and I and we went to live with her and her then partner. (Cannot name names) he was nice at first but he soon became horrible towards me and just like grandad he would bully me and drag me to my room for being naughty. 

          Years later, at the age of 18 I was sexually assualted by someone I thought was my only friend and my brother (I never had a brother growing up), a year later I was raped again by a different man that I did not know. I never got justice and left high school due to death threats and bullying. At the age of 19, stupid me, got involved with a man that was well, pretty much twice my age. He was abusive both verbally and physically and I later found out he did cocaine and other substances. (He hated that I smoked though, which was weird) I ended up breaking it off with him after 1 month and a while later he started stalking me. I had an order out on him. ()

         At the beginning of 2017 I met my most recent ex. We where together for 8 months (broke up in August). He was just as bad as my first ex if not worse. I let him live with my mother and I and he did nothing but abuse me, hit me, stole money from me ($50 at a time, but money is valuable to me). He was awful to my family also and had no disregard for his actions. One day I started hitting him back and when we broke up I punched him and can I just say it felt so good. 

I was 24 (25 now) he was 35. 

         To this day I have gone out of my way to try make my life seem a bit more sunnier and brighter, which I have accomplished in some ways, but I still have a huge hole in my life. That will never be filled but I always taught myself real survivors and warriors wear their hearts on their sleeves. I also feel I cannot reach out to anyone because I feel in some way it was my fault and I could have avoided it the second time around. I suffer from anxiety, depression, possible PTSD and other mental illnesses, I also find it hard to sleep. I might seem to be happy which at times I am but I go from happy to sad really quick. I feel I can't even trust doctors or psychologists . I prefer to fight my own battles. My only advice for anyone going or gone  through this or similar, we aren't always going to be ok on our own, please talk to somebody. 

I really got encouraged here @familyprotect