TWINS!!!
Our son had twins! They were beautiful and healthy and their mother was exhausted by the end of week one! She went in for her checkup, the doctor gave her the "all clear" physically but then asked her how she was feeling.
MISTAKE NUMBER ONE: She was honest with her doctor. I am SO SORRY to sound so cynical but in this day and age, you really are better of to find a friend, confidant or online anonymous support groups than to tell ANY FORM of "licensed professional" that you are feeling sad. They can and sometimes will use that information to trash your entire life. She told him she thought she might be getting "the baby blues."
The doctor advised the new mother to get on antidepressants. Mom was breast feeding and did not want to do that, so he recommended a counselor, and she went and saw the counselor the next day. The counselor told her to get on anti-depressants and she told the counselor she was breast feeding and did not want to do that. OK, I won't call this "mistake number 2" because it was simply a repeat of mistake number one. The counselor and my daughter in law chatted until the bell went off, then Mom went home.
That night, about 11 PM my son and his wife were awakened by the sound of FURIOUS pounding on their front door. My son looked out the window and saw the cops and the woman dressed so nicely and knew IMMEDIATELY what was up. Being raised by this cynical mother saved his family, so please heed my warning...
They wanted to "see" the children, that was "all." Could they please come in and "just check on them? "It would "only take a minute..." My son ASKED TO SEE THE WARRANT. The cop tried to imply he did not need one... My son knew better and INSISTED ON A WARRANT. They finally left, empty handed.
He did not wait for them to go get a warrant. He loaded up his family and brought them to us. The next morning, my son went home to find the cops had been back and left a notice demanding he show up at a hearing the following week, and to bring the children. We later found the cop's report of serving the notice where he claimed he knew my son had been home because he could see the fresh footprints in the snow at the front door. Sure, except my son had been at my house all night, and except that my son lived in an apartment complex with covered stairs. There was no snow at his door, no footprints. It was pretty disheartening to realize the cops were LYING to try to take my grandkids from their home.
We all showed up at the hearing. Mom, Dad, twins, and Granny and Grandpa and we were not nice. We were courteous, but we made it very clear that we were concerned for the well-being of the ENTIRE FAMILY and the stress they were giving the NEW MOTHER. We discussed how much having the new mother stressed out would negatively impact the children and how it all would soon be the subject of a lawsuit if they did not... I do not recall the exact words we used but basically, BACK THE FUCK OFF.
They decided that with such a "supportive family" perhaps their intervention was not needed after all... So after mistake number one (twice) you'll notice I do not list a "Mistake Number 2." I don't think we made another one, or they would have taken those babies when they were less than a month old, from a breast feeding mother!
Understand one more thing, please. We did not "lawyer up" for 3 reasons that are unique to us: 1. We have medical backgrounds, our assessment that the babies were fine was done by an RN, my husband. That has weight. 2. We have studied law ourselves at this point. We are not experts, but we know our rights and we are not squishy about exercising them. 3. We also have a daughter who is an attorney, so we had a lawyer "in our pocket" the whole time. IF - and this is a ginormous if - you know a good attorney, get their assistance. These people are lying, thieving, home wrecking scum with the force of bad law behind them. You are going to battle, get the best army you can muster.
OK, I have to end this on a happy note, right? I can do that. They are all doing beautifully. Life has been tough at times, but that is how life is. Everyone is healthy, happy and growing like sunflowers!
With a baby sister, too! You may notice all my pictures of them are very blurry... Yep. That is just how their parents like it, and I think that is dandy.
This post has been Resteemed and Upvoted by @familyprotection
are using "Child Protection Agencies"
to take children away from loving families
and place them in foster care or group homes
or put up for adoption.
THESE FAMILIES NEED PROTECTING.
Thank-you @fishyculture for supporting @familyprotection
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Thank you for doing what you do, I hope new parents can be helped with a little fore-warning!
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Well done. Most people don't realize that all the 'professionals', whether they are healthcare, education, etc have a legal duty to report, even if it is just a suspicion. I think you guys did great in standing up against these thugs. Well done! The biggest smile on my face is when I read that your son demanded to see the warrant. Bravo!!!!!! Having the whole family circle the wagons was another excellent job! Well done! I love this story!
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Thanks for reading, and for the kind words!
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So glad it worked out, great job standing your ground! Beautiful grandbabies, love the pic:)
I am so sorry your daughter in law went through that because she confided honestly to her Dr. something that she felt-which is perfectly normal as a new momma (especially with multiples) and doesn't always mean anti-depressants:(:(:(
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It was pretty sickening to watch them push those so hard, I had barely saved my wife from the suicidal side effects of those "happy pills." They are making being a health CARE provider harder all the time.
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I became suicidal after being on them for 6 years after my last child was born and I had 4 surgeries right after birth due to medical mistakes. I didn't need antidepressants, I needed help to heal.
The pills don't fix people. Love, support, time and hard work does and they don't help everyone so they shouldn't be so forecful when perscribing them. In one visit??? Not enough time invested in her to make that judgement in my opinion.
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Thank you for sharing that. I know it will mean a lot to my wife. I am VERY glad you are here, and willing to speak about your experience.
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Best healing wishes to her, I am glad she has support ❤ thank you, I am finally comfortable enough to speak of it:)
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HUGS!!!
When I was having my reaction, the "black box warning" was not yet on the label. They were telling my family to give up on me. Without @longsilver, I never would have made it. I am SO GLAD to find another survivor! We are sadly rare birds...
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Thank you and HUGS 🤗 to you as well. It is incredible the damage that can be done. I cannot believe how hard the fight to get proper compassionate care is. I am sorry for what you have been through, but I am so happy that you are one of the ones to see the light and did not give up <3 <3
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Yay! You did it!
Thanks so much for sharing and warning other parents.
It is SO important that parents know what to expect and how to protect their families
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What a great post! Seems I am into this "curtains falling down" subject today - or maybe it is just the right time for many curtains to fall big one!!! Have a look at @wwf - been digging in his blog today and @familyprotection is one big part of it! Hugs to you my dear friend and your whole family!!!
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Will check it out, thanks for the hug and the tip! :)
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Pfft. Try again. tip!
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Hi @jkiw! You have received 0.1 SBD tip from @fishyculture!
Check out new tipuvote! feature :)
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Great job... Everybody needs to share their experiences. We're building a community here- an extended family to support each other. You were lucky. I know that in Michigan, the state has demanded doctors to report things like your daughter in law went through. Sometimes you get a good one that cares more about kids than the state (it's rare).
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Thank you, my friend. I appreciate your work "in the trenches," knowing your history cannot always be easy.
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Right after I post I go to a site on Y-Tube called Sensus Fidelium and listen to some of the priests on there I like. It bolsters my faith and helps give me strength. I go to bed around 5-6 PM and pray a Rosary... It's my armor!
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It seems to serve you very well.
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Just wow. That's one heck of a close call. I'm glad it all worked out for your son - one thing I learned a long time ago - if the cop asks - it's because the cop has to ask. That means you can say no.
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EXCELLENT point.
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That's a fantastic point to keep in mind. It's pretty sad that a lot of innocent moms are storing up these small pieces of knowledge just in case someone decides to try to take our babies away for no reason...
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Congratulations! Yes, you are absolutely right down to the point and you really hit the nail with keeping some information away from the licence professionals, some of them can be menacing and with no understanding whatsoever.
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It is truly tragic, most of them got into their chosen profession with good intentions, but that gets "trained" out of them, quickly.
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The police are a corporation these days they don't seem interested in the slightest about people & their needs they are just a profit making organization. Sadly the doctors are the same they make more money out of selling pharmaceuticals than giving decent advice & treating people. You are damn right for not trusting either, I wouldn't trust them to give the right time if i asked them let alone trust any drug based treatment that they prescribe. Anti depressants just don't work in my opinion the last thing anyone with mental health issues needs is an upper or a downer. They need good advice on how to deal with the stress their under. Most parents having twins are going to have a tough time any parent with one child knows they are a bind as much as we love them twins give you twice as much to do. A mum coming back home will obviously have a shock to the system & a disruption of her usual routine. Humans are creatures of habit that thrive on routine having it disrupted is enough to stress anyone. New job new school new child is always going to make people nervous & excitable its just a fact of life. The doctor was rude & lacked empathy & the same for the cop I bet neither of them have had twins to deal with in their life let alone be left in charge of parenting them. Glad it worked out well in the end it certainly is handy to know your rights.
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To be fair, the doctor just followed protocol... which is rather inhumane but he did not actually involve the authorities. It was the counselor who called in the attack dogs.
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Thank goodness your son knew not to let the cops in and then get the family over to you as fast as he could. This is the stuff nightmares are made of to me. And what a way to make us afraid to trust our doctors with truthful information! You never know when someone is going to jump the gun and report you for something completely normal and not neglectful at all...:(
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I am the OP's husband, the RN in the story. If you take your preteen child to the doctor in Minnesota, they are REQUIRED to take the child some place private to ask them questions that could rip the child's world apart if they say the wrong thing.
Here is a sample questionnaire
http://www.health.state.mn.us/youth/providers/headssslong.html
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They even admit that many of their calls are BS, people trying to cause trouble, yet they just keep plowing through families.
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Well done @fishyculture, this is a great post, it's so important to share ways that can help empower families, and show what happens when we stand together and know our rights. Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you, it is a pleasure to tell a tale of empowerment. I can't say we have always fared as well against tyrants, but when our family was on the line we pulled it off. That was when it counted!
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Jesus. .what a story :( I am so so sorry this happened to you and your family...awful. I am so glad it worked out. Congratulations on knowing your rights and standing up for yourselves. Inspiring, to say the least.
Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you. It is my sincere desire to encourage people to not only know their rights, but to have the courage to EXERCISE them.
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Drug frenzied police state - how disgusting!
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Well I'm glad it turned out rather well... And thanks for sharing, I'm sure a lot of us could learn a thing or two from this.. 😃
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Thank you, and I hope so. Families need supported, not ripped apart.
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I'll be researching and writing on CPS in the coming days. More people need to know.
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Health professionals are rarely your friend. They have an agenda, even if they don't know it, based on their education and the agenda of their professors and mentors. The more you exercise your personal freedoms, such as not to vaccinate, not to participate in annual exams, etc... the more they are on alert and ready to classify you as neglectful or abusive. They often think they have divine knowledge and that all that contradicts this knowledge is evidence of ignorance and justifies suspicion. Don't ever tell them you are down, depressed, or anything that could be used to categorize you. Don't tell them you own firearms. Don't talk about your spiritual beliefs or your parenting techniques. They are under pressure to collect demographic and medical/psychological data to cover their own rears if problems occur down the line. It sucks to have to be distrustful of people who might have answers to your problems, but you must be wary and informed else they can open a nasty can of serpents. Thank you for sharing this lesson... we all need to be on our toes.
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Very good advice. Thank you for bringing up some important specifics.
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To all those people who make their profession child care I give my most sincere regards as not everyone has this gift, the pascience is the key. I hope you have a happy Christmas I liked your post, I hope we can continue reading
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Excellent post. Should more follow and upvoted you. Thanks for sharing the post
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Wow....... Wish they will be remain healthy and happy.
Happy christmas
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Thank you!
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Good info! Will share this.
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Thank you!
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