Its raining and thats a boring ass title.

in farming •  8 years ago  (edited)

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           So whenever I’m typing I start to think to myself, 

“folks who read this are going to think ‘yeah, we get that Dixon. Tell us something we don’t know,’” e.g. writing a blog is freaking time consuming!  My mind is buzzing with stuff to type about all day.  I’ll be out on the land working and thinking about jumping on my computer real quick at the end of the day and typing up a riveting tale about my tractor’s slasher, or how neat it is to have kangaroos hopping around (“Hip-hop? Sounds like something a bunny rabbit would listen to.”- Marsha Brady.  I digress.), or a brilliant take on my new found love of Vegemite!  Oh, the Vegemite take was going to be awesome!  It basically went like this; Have you ever had Vegemite?  If you have, you probably found it super nasty and salty tasting.  It looks like dark baby meconium.  Eeewwww, yucky poopy!  Well I love it.  Here’s how you can love it too!  

  • Put a little bit of butter on toast.
  • Apply thin layer (thin layer is the key) of Vegemite.
  • A slice of cheese.
  • And if you have a toaster oven, melt the cheese.  A microwave works for melting the cheese too of course, but it softens the toast.  
  • If, after a couple goes, you still don’t like it, then you have a problem with yourself.  

I never wrote it or posted the extended, more awesome version of my take on Vegemite though, did I? 

        “Greg, what about your awesome tractor slasher story?”  

That’s going to have to wait for another time young one, but don’t fret, the enthralling tale of the tractor slasher will come. It will come.   

  “Greg, what about your seeming lack of time management skills? Surely you can squeeze out a few gripping tales of Aussie farmer ribaldry a week?”  

I’m trying, ok! I start at 3:30 AM twice a week, and 4:30 AM three days per week, then we get a bit of a sleep-in on the weekends, and that’s only if Mr. Waffles doesn’t go nuts, starts whining or bring a live mouse into the bedroom. My wife and I both work other jobs. When we’re done with the 4AM-1PM shift, we move onto the land work. It boils down to: work work, to land work, to dinner ritual (we never eat out), to dishes, to tea, to shower, to bed, wake up, repeat. Oh, and I’m married. I’m not saying that in any sort of derogatory sense, but being married factors into your schedule for sure, just ask anyone who’s married. One has to account for their partner’s needs, suggestions and desires throughout the course of the day.   

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                   “Greg, how are you getting to type now?”

It’s raining, that’s why I get to type.  When it’s raining here, you can do fuck-all in red dirt.   It doesn’t slide off your boots like muddy, brown dirt.  It sticks to your boots, and your wheels, and your tools, and your hands and before you know it, you’ve grown a foot and gained 20 pounds.   Red dirt is amazing stuff though.  You can grow all kinds of stuff in it.  I wish I could figure out two things: how to market a bonding compound made up of dried toothpaste and hair bits from sinks, and weaponize the staining power of red dirt.  What if we just dropped bombs made up of red dirt on Isis fighters?  They’d get so annoyed at the staining power!  “Ok, ok, we’re moving out of town.  Fuck!  That red dirt is on our boots and our stolen wives won’t shut up about it getting in the drapes and in the carpet!”  I grant the blogosphere full creative license on both those ideas.

            I’m not a blockchain technology expert by any stretch.  

I’m more like; a barely knows what the blockchain idea is because I’m bad at math and have trouble from drinking too much home brew to wrap my brain around the blockchain concept, guy.   Where was I going with that?  

                            It would be cool if

this whole blog platform could be condensed to something quicker, and more easily digestible.  Maybe some sort of platform where I could take a picture of something, type up a snappy quip, and send it out to the world. Then maybe the submitter somehow earns bits and bits of micro-steem?  I'm such a contributing factor in moving our world towards Idiocracy.  I should be stronger and accept that posting my thoughts shouldn't be as easy as an "app" or a text to Markdown language editor that's free and has all the bells and whistles I want.  I probably shouldn't let on that my middle name is Clevon, or have put two D's in my last name for a double dose of pimpin' then maybe I'll be better at blogging.  This might illicit comments on my need to learn Markdown, which I've been working on!   

I love to type, but I don’t know how much longer the rain is going to last.  Trying only one pic on this post cause its a huge pain! 
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Greg, I hope it keeps raining, so you can keep typing. Seeing you write like this reminds me of my pal Neal Foley who farms and cooks in Maine - we've been good social media buddies for more than ten years now because we both started in podcasting at the same time. I should try getting him on here - he's most active on Facebook these days https://www.facebook.com/Podchef - I know I just did that "hey you're a farmer? I know a farmer, you should get to know each other" thing but whatever!

Thanks a ton for reading it! I didn't think anyone would! I really appreciate your kind feedback! Quad exclamations!

No worries, mate! Keep going. Give us an update when you can :)

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