Hello world. I may not have much experience in this field, but a few old journals I wrote really helped me out when it came to deciding if this is something I wanted to do or not. I really hope that I do fit into this new thing for me and I’m going to give it my best shot. Now, I’m new to this and I’m sorry for anyone who doesn’t want to listen to a first time blogger talking about their feelings and that’s ok with me. No one is keeping you. For those who are interested, this is a message to all the people out there who feel as if they fit in and don’t all at the same time. I’m a person who is known by many but can’t really say I am friends with any. As time goes on, I realize that the more and more I try to fit in, I don’t. And that’s ok. That’s the whole idea of high school, am I right...? When high school started, I thought I had a group of friends that would last a lifetime. We were plenty causing mischief and such (as any 14-15 y/o’s would do). But as time went on, people just kept fighting. I’m not a very confrontational person and this whole thing upset me. As it went on and I stayed and did nothing, I slowly realized that the group I was once friends with decided to kick me to the curb and pretend like nothing happened. I know people may think, "oh you can just find new friends" but that was a struggle for me. After being friends with the same people for years just for them to drop you really caused a lot of trust issues. As time went on, I kept feeling as if I were more and more out of place. I knew many people in my school, but after what happened, it was really hard to trust people again. It wasn’t until two years later were I would finally let people in. I had gone on a school trip and decided that I was going to go and learn and experience a new place no matter who I met. As the trip progressed, I made friends who I sill have today. We bonded over stupid jokes, silly card games, and overall having a great time. A year and a half after this trip, I can assure you that I’m very happy with who my friends are today. The point of this message isn’t that I deserve some sort of pity from whoever, if any, decide to read this. I’m using this story, and whatever else I choose to write, to give advice to those who are in my place. I know that when trust is broken it feels as if nothing will ever be the same again. You feel as if you’re going to be alone forever. Every problem you have, you cope and deal with it yourself because you’re afraid of what people may say or how they will act. My advice is to step out of your comfort zone. I know it’s not easy and I can assure you it wasn’t easy for me. You just have to take the leap. For me, the leap was going on the trip and wanting to learn more about another place. For someone else it could be texting the person they like, or trying out for a sport because they love it. Whatever you do, just know that deep down, there is always an alternative to loneliness. No one is put on this earth to be lonely. We’re all here for a reason. So next time you see someone alone, or if you are that person alone, try something new and go talk to someone. You’d be shocked how friendly people are when you make the first move.
-M.A.F