The reflection of my childhood, which is shaped by reward and punishment, based on result oriented notifications instead of intrinsic motivation.
Source
The result was important at home, at work and at school; performance was important. I can try, I can learn not to say, or I can not do, I think I fail everything I started. I've been worried often, and sometimes unclear. And every start that this thought motivated changed the whole course of my work. It slowed my learning, made it harder.
Because I couldn't easily learn something I didn't enjoy; I think I should go to a grocery store and I went. What can I do next? I couldn't, I stuck in the mood. I haven't tried the unpretentious, eye-defining recipes that I should add to my own interpretation.
Source
I've been getting more and more wary of seeing the whole work, seeing, feeling and having a relationship. And so I felt even more insufficient.
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Panic! At The Disco - High Hopes
Panic! At The Disco - High Hopes (Official Video)